


Kalopsia

by ikonbias



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Chanwoo is the roommate of the century, Friends With Benefits, Love Triangles, M/M, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, donghyuk in stripper outfits, eventual angst, jinhwan in stripper outfits, platonic fluff, vague sugar daddy elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-10-08
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:28:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 57,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikonbias/pseuds/ikonbias
Summary: It's true that money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a night with a stranger and that counts for something.





	1. Illecebrous

**Author's Note:**

> iKON:  
> Donghyuk - a stripper who gives most of his money to his sister  
> Chanwoo - a professional gamer, Donghyuk's roommate  
> Jinhwan - the stripper who got Donghyuk into the business  
> Junhoe - a bouncer/key holder at the strip club  
> Hanbin - a wealthy and successful producer who keeps to himself  
> Bobby - a famous rapper and producer  
> Yunhyeong - a successful model, Hanbin's neighbour 
> 
> Others:  
> Jaewon - a friend of Hanbin's, producer and composer who does some solo work  
> Esther - Donghyuk's sister, still in high school and planning to go to university  
> Chaerin - CO-CEO of Happy Nihilist Records 
> 
> Places:  
> Zoria - A popular strip club  
> Happy Nihilist Records - A extremely successful company with a secretive CEO, the CO-CEO CL does all of the public work
> 
> NOTE: Any character not explicitly named is just a random OC with no intentional similarity or reference to any other idol or celebrity.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illecebrous (adj) alluring, attractive, enticing

_Donghyuk was feeling incredible as he settled into his routine. It was his newest outfit, custom tailored. The skirt was light and flirty and had the perfect amount of bounce as he walked around the poll and then started his choreo. His stockings were a crowd favourite, as it gave a chance to briefly touch his thick thighs. He needed to make his rent tonight, and he knew he’d get it if he could flirt just right._

_He pulled himself up into a fan kick and then waltzed over to the side of the bar that just had the best view of his tiny black underwear. There were women and men holding up bills and he sat in his best Betty Boop-esk crouch. He tucked a bill down into his skirt along his happy trail just to entice the next patron. He was alluring, in a slick silk shirt unbuttoned enough to see part of a chest tattoo. Donghyuk memorized his face so he could find him later in hopes for a private dance. He slut dropped in front of him and dropped his mouth open in a scandalized pout. The man reached up with a bill, Donghyuk bit his lip as he saw the 100 on a corner and pulled his arm close gently so he could tuck it into his waistband himself. The man gave Donghyuk a smile that sent a happy rush of endorphins as he stood and went back to the pole for his finale._

_As soon as he was off the stage, he sent the usual percentage of his tip earnings to his boss before heading back out. He wanted to find the man desperately. When he did, his heart fluttered at the man’s charming smile._

_“Private dance?” Donghyuk asked with a little dangerous smile._

_The man replied by walking close and sauvely pushing another $100 bill into Donghyuk’s waistband, savouring the seconds he got to touch skin. Donghyuk’s smile twisted delightfully as he lead the way to the private booths._

_~*~_

The first thing Donghyuk knew for sure is that he was not home. The bed was massive, the sheets were too smooth and he did not have that nice of a stereo. The second thing he knew is that he was completely naked. He sat up and kept the sheets up around his waist as he tried to locate his phone. After completely running his arm under all the pillows he decided to leave the bed, sheet still tight around his hips.

With a little noise of victory he found his underwear and dropped the bedsheet to hop into them quickly. Feeling immediately less vulnerable, he looked for his phone around the massive room. He took his time walking around, completely used to his level of undress, it was practically his work uniform. He caught a glimpse of himself in a decorative mirror and smirked a little at the gentle marks at his neck. He walked a little more and gently moved a heavy curtain with his fingers.

“Whoa” Donghyuk gasped softly at the view, he was definitely in some kind of penthouse suite. He’d never seen the city from so high up. He looked around for familiar buildings until he heard  the door behind him. He let the curtain drop and he turned, blinking to get used to the now dim looking room. “Good… Morning”

“Good afternoon actually,” was the reply and Donghyuk laughed softly. As his eyes got used to the light again Donghyuk looked over the man who had entered the room.

“Did I come here only wearing this or?” Donghyuk bit his lip and put his hands on his hips, posing naturally but also mostly on purpose to show off his thighs and muscle lines to the man standing in the room with him. “I can’t find my phone,”

“No, um” the man laughed, it was a sweet and endearing laugh that Donghyuk wasn’t expecting. “I’m washing your clothes now, your phone is in the kitchen… it was in your pocket… you took your pants off out...” he looked over Donghyuk in a lovingly long gaze, Donghyuk stretched his cheek out with his tongue and waited for his eyes to travel back up to his face. He was not expecting him to be blushing. “There.”

“So did I get your name last night?” Donghyuk took his turn looking the other man over. He was thin but muscular, with more tattoos than he expected.

“I’m Hanbin.” Hanbin blushed faintly again. “I, um made coffee.”

“I’d love some coffee.” Donghyuk said and Hanbin made a gesture before turning and leading them to his gorgeous modern kitchen.

After coffee, Hanbin brought out Donghyuk’s clothes and Donghyuk made him blush again somehow just by getting dressed. When he left, Hanbin walked up beside him, as if to kiss him goodbye, but instead he stuffed something into Donghyuk’s pocket. As he was pulling his arm back Donghyuk let it run along his fingertips.

“See you around?” Donghyuk smiled warmly.

Hanbin nodded and Donghyuk left the penthouse.

As soon as he got back to his own apartment Donghyuk kicked off his shoes and checked out what Hanbin had stuffed into his pocket. A little wad of bills that Donghyuk nodded at appreciatively before heading to his roommates room. He could hear Chanwoo on his PC already. He probably just woke up, and when he pushed the door open he could see that he was right. Chanwoo still had bedhead.

“Where did you end up?” Chanwoo asked cheerfully as Donghyuk walked into his roommate’s room and flopped onto his bed.

“Uptown.” Donghyuk said into Chanwoo’s pillowed before rolling over and smiling happily.

“Get a good tip?” Chanwoo asked looking over his shoulder at Donghyuk who shifted his arm and got comfortable enough to shut his eyes.

“Enough.” Donghyuk smiled knowingly and opened one eye to look at Chanwoo. “The sex was better than the money.”

“Were you smart?” Chanwoo said as he spammed his keyboard, another round of his online game had started.

“Yes, mother.” Donghyuk rolled his eyes and got off of Chanwoo’s bed to walk around and sit in his roommate’s lap.

“Donghyuk this is a timed match!!” Chanwoo frantically tried to look around his roommate as Donghyuk smooshed himself against him. “I’m in a voice chat!”

Donghyuk turned and pressed Chanwoo’s mic hotkey and put on his best gay flair “Sorry boys, I really need my Daddy Chan to take care of me, I’ve been out alllll nightttt.”

Chanwoo shut his eyes as his chat exploded with noise, Donghyuk stood and pulled off Chanwoo’s headset.

“Come on, we have bills to pay. I’ll take you to lunch.”

“I can never go back to that group chat now I hope you’re happy.”

“Poor Daddy Chan, embarrassed by his naughty baby boy.” Donghyuk pouted as Chanwoo stood and turned off his screen.

Chanwoo looked at him in a deadpan.

“Do I get spanked at least?” Donghyuk asked with a cute tilt of his head and squirmy pose.

“Stop that.” Chanwoo pointed at him with a firm expression. Donghyuk grinned wider until Chanwoo’s serious face broke and he started to giggle. “They really think I’m your Daddy you know? They treat it so seriously, they think I have mad bedroom game.”

“Adorable, oh my God.” Donghyuk looked at Chanwoo with a bemused face. “But I-R-L you’d be SUCH a good Daddy.”

“Damn right I would.” Chanwoo said and shoved Donghyuk out of his room so he could get dressed.

Donghyuk got a quick shower and dressed in a fresh outfit. He stuffed the new money from Hanbin into his wallet with his other tips for their bills. Chanwoo was snacking on the last breakfast bar in the entryway, ready to go.

“Washed of your sins?” Chanwoo asked as Donghyuk put his shoes on.

“For a few hours at least.” Donghyuk replied cheerfully as he double checked his money was right. “You got your half?”

“On debit, I got the transfer this morning.” Chanwoo said with a nod.

Donghyuk nodded and they made sure at least one of them had their keys before heading out. The first stop was their rental office to pay rent, Donghyuk counted his half out in a stack of bills that had all been against his skin at one point. Sometimes they even had lipstick smudges on them. He always smiled through any sort of awkwardness until they had their payment receipt in hand.

“So how much do we have left?”

“After paying utilities...Mr. Fancy Internet-”

“My income depends on our fancy internet you heathen.” Chanwoo said with wide eyes.

Donghyuk grinned a little. “Enough for lunch… and some groceries. Do you have enough for your bus pass this month?”

“Tomorrow I will, I’m almost finished grinding out a sick PVP toon that’ll sell for a good price.” Chanwoo said as he stretched.

Donghyuk stopped where he was, a little bit of cash in both hands and stared directly ahead. “I almost understood that.”

“Little heathen is learning, soon you’ll be able to keep your clothes on and make money like the rest of us.”

Donghyuk opened his mouth in offense and punched Chanwoo in the shoulder. “You. Game. Naked. You. Ass.”

“Not when I’m work gaming!” Chanwoo replied with a stern finger point. “I’m a professional.”

Donghyuk rolled his eyes and started to walk again, stuffing his sorted money into different pockets.

Donghyuk got them barbecue for lunch, they each had a beer and got caught up with each other’s lives. Both of them were nocturnal mostly, Donghyuk at the strip club and Chanwoo up gaming. They sometimes could go a week without seeing each other. Only knowing the other exists in the form of leftovers in the fridge and notes on the whiteboard on the bathroom door. (Usually it was something like “STOP USING MY RAZOR OR I’ll USE YOURS FOR MY PUBES” with the reply “Go ahead that’s why I use yours ♥” and then Chanwoo would have to go out and buy a new razor and some kind of detoxifying face mask).

Back at the apartment with a few bags of groceries, Chanwoo set into boiling water to make ramen as Donghyuk sorted out a few things he wanted for work. He’d worn home a few costumes before (usually when he was exhausted and had a ride home) and needed to get them back to work.

“Did you want some ramen?” Chanwoo asked from the doorway. He slurped as he watched Donghyuk hold up a crop top. “The water is hot.”

“No I’m okay the salt will just bloat me.” Donghyuk said as he folded the top and put it in his ‘to take’ bag.

“Heaven forbid you get a muffin top from your thong or something.” Chanwoo said dramatically as he turned to leave Donghyuk’s bedroom.

Donghyuk laughed a little and continued sorting until he was done. He had a give away bag he’d take in to see if anyone wanted things from it.

“I’m heading out!” Donghyuk called as he shouldered his bag and went for the door.

“It’s early?” Chanwoo replied back, but Donghyuk could already hear the clicking of a game.

“I’m meeting Esther.” Donghyuk replied. “Want me to bring a pizza home?”

“At 3am?” Chanwoo called back and then cursed at something.

“Yes.”

“Okay.”

Donghyuk smiled and double checked he had his keys before leaving the apartment. He usually met his sister the same days he paid rent. He wanted to make sure she was doing okay at school and didn’t need anything. They met at a trendy cafe she liked.

“Hey sis.” Donghyuk said and kissed her cheek as he sat down.

“How are you, big brother?” Esther replied with a happy smile. “You look…”

“Like I was out all night?” Donghyuk smiled. “I was, I’ll get someone to put makeup on me before I go on stage.”

“You work tonight?”

“Every night I can, lil sis.” Donghyuk dug into his pants to pull out some of the money he sorted out.

“Donghyuk don’t~” Esther complained as Donghyuk set the money down in front of her.

“It’s almost summer, you’ll need new clothes.” Donghyuk said with a smile. “The money I send you is for school, this is for you.”

“Thank you.” Esther said with a little smile, she was happy but at the same time, wished she didn’t need him. “I have a cram school lined up already.”

“Good!” Donghyuk said and rubbed her shoulder. “I’m proud of you.”

Esther sighed. “I was hoping I could give you a break, you know, get a job this summer instead.”

“I don’t need a break, Es.” Donghyuk said with an affectionate smile as he took her hand. “I need you to stay in school, apply for colleges.”

“And then when I get in college it’ll be even more money.” Esther pouted.

“You’re saving at least a third of what I send you every month right?” Donghyuk looked at her with a serious expression.

“Of course, scout’s honor.” Esther held up three fingers straight up together.

“Then you’ll be fine.” Donghyuk said and smiled at her some more, leaning forward and posing cutely on his fists. “So tell me something fun. What’s the high school gossip these days?”

Esther took a deep breath and got her phone. Donghyuk clapped in excitement before she started her report.


	2. Meraki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meraki (n) to do something with soul

Hanbin wasn’t sure what to do with himself after the stripper left. He felt a little dazed somehow. He sat at his counter and stared at his stove. He had a fantastic night, he’d spent more money than he intended, but it had been fantastic. He looked down at the napkin he’d been playing with. 

_ DK ♥  _

He smiled at the name, he’d expected a phone number too but the stripper had just laughed and shook his head. 

_ “You didn’t pay me to listen to me talk” he’d said and he bit his tongue a little as he shimmed out of his skirt. “You paid for the view.”  _

_ Hanbin felt his mouth go dry as the fabric dropped to the floor and the private dance started.  _

Hanbin’s doorbell brought him out of his memory and he jumped a little before his phone automatically opened the door for him (facial recognition was terrifying and amazing). He stood and went to make another coffee. 

“You really need to start screening your door Hanbin.” Yunhyeong’s voice called down the short hallway that lead to the door. “What’s the point of your security if you just bypass it.” 

“It’s not bypassed it just knows your face. You’re the only one who visits me.” Hanbin replied, carefully measuring the coffee before tapping it into a French press. 

“Good morning.” Yunhyeong said once they were in the same room, he sat down at the counter where Hanbin just was. Before he could reach and take the napkin Hanbin grabbed it. “What’s that?” 

“Just some garbage.” Hanbin said and shrugged as he tossed the napkin on the counter beside where he was waiting for the coffee to steep. 

“So throw it out?” Yunhyeong raised an eyebrow and indicated where Hanbin’s trash bin was. 

“I will later…” Hanbin mumbled out and moved the napkin again, further away from Yunhyeong as he got another mug.

Yunhyeong drank some coffee as he looked at his friend. Hanbin blushed a little as he remembered his night. Hanbin was extremely private. He didn’t go out much, he focused on work (under a stage name). Even though his songs were always charting top 10 he was free to roam in the public as he liked. Friends were pretty much limited to coworkers, the closest of whom was Bobby, a star rapper and producer in his own right. Next would be Yunhyeong, his neighbour one floor down who brought him food and kept him company. 

However, Hanbin had been in a funk lately. He was between albums, leaving him with too much time on his hands. He was getting brutally moody and Bobby had snapped at him to just get laid or something. Yunhyeong had started coming up every morning just to check on him, even if it meant leaving nearly as soon as he got there. 

“So, did you do anything last night?” Yunhyeong asked pleasantly as Hanbin brought him the coffee. 

“I went out” Hanbin said, his blush returning. 

“Oh really? Where did you go?” Yunhyeong asked with an excited smile. 

“Just a club…” Hanbin shrugged and smiled a little bit. 

“Ah, and you brought home that napkin?” Yunhyeong teased. “Did you get someone’s number?” 

Yunhyeong laughed at his own joke (the idea that Hanbin would go to a club and screen for a phone number?!) Hanbin chewed at his lip as he recalled he brought home a lot more than a napkin. He stood before he could get any more embarrassing. “I should get to the studio.” He headed for the door. Yunhyeong sighed and followed behind. 

“You work too much,” 

“It’s not work if I enjoy it right?” Hanbin said with a little half smile that Yunhyeong returned. 

Hanbin got a four pack of energy drinks and two tins of Pringles chips on his way to the studio. As soon as he sat down in his impossibly comfortable (impossibly expensive) custom computer chair he heard his studio door opened. 

“Binnie~” 

Hanbin turned just as Bobby was pulling the spare chair over beside him. He smiled automatically as Bobby reached for one of the energy drinks he’d bought and opened it. 

“What’s up.” Hanbin greeted as he reached for his own can to take a long drink. 

“Coming to see you,’ Bobby shrugged. “Wondering if you did anything fun last night?” 

Hanbin blushed and Bobby smiled a little. 

“So you went then?” 

“Yeah.” Hanbin said with a little nod. 

“I told you to invite me!” Bobby whined and slumped down dramatically.  

“I wouldn’t watch porn with you, why would I take you to a sex club?” Hanbin said with a little shake of his head. 

“Um, because generally you don’t whip your dick out at a strip club you pay someone to whip their dick out.” Bobby shoved him and then got a knowing smile. “Oh my god.” 

“What?” Hanbin blushed and stared at his computer screen instead of looking at Bobby. 

“You paid someone to whip their dick out.” Bobby suddenly got gleeful and pulled his knees up to his chest. “Did you???” 

Hanbin mumbled without moving his lips much as his blush got deeper. Bobby slumped to the floor and rolled around euphorically. 

“Champ-i-on” Bobby got back into his chair. “I told you. I told you, you’d love it.” 

Hanbin laughed a little and reached for his headphones. “You have a point.” 

“You working on anything?” 

“Same track from a few weeks ago.” Hanbin sighe

“You need to let that go man, work on something else for a bit.” Bobby shook his head. “Isn’t that why we even started joking to go to that club?” 

“I don’t have anything else to work on,” Hanbin slumped forward and chewed his lip a little.

“Then I guess you’re fucked huh?” Bobby laughed a little and messed up Hanbin’s hair just before Hanbin put the headphones on and Hanbin didn’t even react. Bobby left at some point, but by then Hanbin was so focused on trying to work with the song he didn’t notice until he realized he’d lost the rest of his energy drinks.

Donghyuk got to the club early most days. He likes to use the stage to practise and rehearse. He was working on a new move in his set, a slower move that took more muscle but showed off his legs in a spectacular spread. He was hoping to get more people interested in private dances. He often played around on the pole, doing more of a workout than a sexy dance routine, to keep his figure. He especially loved doing lifts and holds. 

“If pole dancing was an Olympic sport, you’d get gold Donghyuk.” 

Donghyuk did a one handed spiral spin around the pole to face who was talking, he showed off a little, holding himself still for a few moments before gently setting himself down. “Thanks.”

Jinhwan was once Donghyuk’s teacher of all things stripper and pole dancing. He’d scooped Donghyuk up at a “amatuer night” where Donghyuk paid $50 for twenty minutes on stage with the hopes of making his money back and more. They’d slept together that night and casually afterwards, but in a way only Jinhwan could pull off, they were never awkward or had any sort of weirdness. It was just straight to business, as if Jinhwan just needed to see if Donghyuk was all that (and he was).  Jinhwan saw Donghyuk’s potential and he wanted the amatuer to make it full time. 

“New set?” Jinhwan asked with a happy smile, he was dressed cutely in an oversized cardigan and skin tight black jeans. His hair was a bubble gum pink. 

“Yeah I think so, I think I’m going to switch out of the skirt routine and do more like a masculine ‘sexy librarian’ or something.” Donghyuk said as he cleaned the pole. 

“Hot.” Jinhwan said with a little lopsided smile. 

“When am I not?” Donghyuk teased back and seductively dropped down to finish wiping the pole clean.

Jinhwan rolled his eyes at him and walked over to take his hand and march him into the dressing room. “You brought some goodies??” Jinhwan eyed the bag on his chair gleefully. 

“A few things.” Donghyuk smiled and started changing out of his workout outfit and swapping out his underwear. 

Jinhwan let out an enthusiastic “Oh!” as he picked up a glittery top and hurried to try it on. “Did you even wear this?” 

“No, I liked it when I tried it on but when I got home the romance was over.” Donghyuk replied as he hopped a little to help shimmy his way into his mesh leggings, the repeating pattern of ornate crosses stretching over his thighs. 

“I am the more glittery of the two of us.” Jinhwan eyed Donghyuk in the mirror as he inspected himself in the glittery top. He nodded at himself. “I’m keeping it.” 

Donghyuk pulled on the rest of his outfit as Jinhwan continued rummaging. As Donghyuk was styling his hair Jinhwan started getting ready too. The other dancers were coming in as it got closer to open. 

“By the way,” Jinhwan kicked back on his rolling stool and slid until he was beside Donghyuk. “How was last night? A Daddy Warbucks or what?” 

“God.” Donghyuk gushed and his head flopped back. “You have no idea.”

“If he comes back I’m taking him.” 

“No! You vulture!” Donghyuk swatted Jinhwan and his friend laughed as he pushed himself back over to his station. 

“I have bills to pay too!” Jinhwan pouted as he patted on some highlighter. “You can’t hog the rich ones, it’s bad manners.” 

“Blow me.” Donghyuk rolled his eyes and adjusted his collar as he looked at himself in the mirror. 

“I can’t afford your fees.” Jinhwan rubbed his fingers together at him. 

Donghyuk whined at him and they continued their affectionate bantering until it was time for them to go out and flirt with the patrons. Donghyuk’s night went well, but not as well as the night before. His outfit was more comfortable than some, but even with his whole ass hanging out he failed to get the tips he wanted. 

“Maybe a garter belt?” Jinhwan offered as they counted their tips (after giving the right percentage to their boss of course). 

“Maybe,” Donghyuk agreed as he changed into his comfortable street clothes. He was feeling sulky, the night before had sent him too high for this average night not to sting a little. “There isn’t anywhere obvious to stick a tip with the high waist of these leggings.” 

“Right? I think that’s it.” Jinhwan nodded, hoping to encourage his friend to pull out of his sulk before they left work.  “You wanna go get something to eat?” 

“I promised Chanwoo a pizza.” Donghyuk replied as he stuffed his bag with his things. “You wanna come over?” 

“Yeah, I can come over. You have wine?” 

“A whole box not even opened.” Donghyuk grinned and Jinhwan clapped a little before getting his own bag and they left hand in hand. 

Donghyuk ordered the pizza as they walked to the subway, Chanwoo’s favourite pizza was close to their house. They just needed to take one earlier stop to pass it on their way. Donghyuk paid with cash as always, his stack of cash smaller than it had been at the start of the day, even with his shift at work. The two of them walked together in an exceptionally good mood, Jinhwan started singing a song and Donghyuk was adding his harmonies by the time he was unlocking the door. Chanwoo met them in the kitchen. 

“Hungry?” Donghyuk teased as Chanwoo brought some plates down. 

“Starving,” Chanwoo replied and then looked at Jinhwan and blushed a little. “Hey Jinhwan.” 

“Hey Daddy.” Jinhwan winked at Donghyuk’s roommate. 

Donghyuk shook his head a little bit as Jinhwan flirted. After pizza Chanwoo went back into his room. Donghyuk and Jinhwan got the box of wine set up and took it into Chanwoo’s room and set up on his bed to watch him play. He was playing in a tournament with his main gaming friends and was extra profane. 

“There is something really hot about someone so innocent looking cursing like that.” Jinhwan smiled and leaned into Donghyuk.

“Right? All his friends think he’s my daddy and I cannot be happier.” Donghyuk laughed and then finished off his glass of wine. 

Jinhwan reached over him to put his wine glass off the bed and their faces were close enough Donghyuk couldn’t resist a passing kiss to Jinhwan’s cheek. Jinhwan looked at him and then kissed him properly on the mouth. At their sudden silence Chanwoo looked over his shoulder quickly and then did a rapid double take. 

“Hey! Don’t-  _ do not _ fuck on my bed!” Chanwoo scolded and then cursed as he realized he’d left his mic open for the tournament. 

Jinhwan laughed an evil little laugh as he deepened the kiss and forced Donghyuk to lay down. Donghyuk giggled as Chanwoo yelled at them to get off his bed. 

“No, they’re just making out I just don’t want them to-” Chanwoo was doing his best to explain to his chat but he sighed deeply through his nose. “Well then you come over and deal with the strippers in my bed and I’ll win this tournament!” 

“Rude.” Donghyuk scolded and looked over at Chanwoo who was half playing and half turned to leave his chair and go to his bed to shoo them away. 

“Yes. Strippers. No. It’s not fun. It’s a nightmare. They’re a nightmare!” Chanwoo said and then beat the round so he could stand and go to his bed to swat Donghyuk’s butt. 

“Oh finally that spanking!” Donghyuk turned over and offered his butt to Chanwoo for another hit. 

Chanwoo froze, and Jinhwan enjoyed the look on his face so much he burst out laughing. Donghyuk joined him and got off of Chanwoo’s bed, pulling Jinhwan with him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying this please let me know in a comment! :3


	3. Habromania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> habromania (n) delusions of happiness

Donghyuk woke up in his usual pajamas, Jinhwan lay beside him, curled up wearing a t-shirt Donghyuk had stolen from Chanwoo ages ago to sleep in because it was so oversized for him. The wine had made them both cuddly and affectionate. Noses together and giggling slightly because of Chanwoo’s whining in the next room as he went back to gaming. Donghyuk loved the nights Jinhwan stayed over, he found true physical affection lacking in his life. Something he missed amidst his days of “touch me for money”. Jinhwan was always willing to cuddle him and play with his hair affectionately. Sometimes when they both needed it they’d actually hook up again, but Donghyuk was still satisfied from Hanbin and Jinhwan seemed to need the sleep. 

“Five more minutes baby.” Jinhwan mumbled at him as he felt Donghyuk shuffle and start to shimmy out of bed. 

“Stay there as long as you like.” Donghyuk replied in a soft voice but tickled Jinhwan’s exposed foot. 

Jinhwan whined and pulled himself into a tighter ball. Donghyuk giggled as he left the room and headed for the bathroom to turn on the shower. He was humming the song he was currently building a new routine on as he stripped and then investigated his face in the mirror. He was looking much more rested today, after pawing gently at his under eyes he investigated his chin to see how badly he needed to shave. He lifted his chin when a sigh made him look over. 

“Would it kill you to shut the door when you’re naked?” Chanwoo asked as he stood in the doorway. 

“People literally pay me to see this-” Donghyuk turned to face Chanwoo and motioned over his body with his hand. “Like, pay me well. You’re getting a free sample.” 

“No soliciting.” Chanwoo leaned in to get the door and close it. 

“Rude!” Donghyuk shouted. 

“Bite me.” Chanwoo called back.

Donghyuk got into the shower with a little laugh and shake of his head. When he was cleaned he wrapped himself in a towel and went to his bedroom, he could smell Chanwoo making some breakfast. Jinhwan was still curled up in bed. 

“Chanwoo is making breakfast.” 

“I need coffee.” Jinhwan replied as he yawned and stretched and looked over at Donghyuk. 

Donghyuk pulled on some sensible underwear and some athletic pants before hunting down a sweater he liked in his closet.

“God your thighs are goals.” Jinhwan said, he was now propping himself up on one arm as he watched Donghyuk dig through his closet. 

“Please yours are just as nice.” Donghyuk shook his head. 

Jinhwan got out of bed and squatted behind Donghyuk, wrapping both his hands around one of Donghyuk’s thighs. 

“Hey-” 

“See I can’t even wrap my hands around it.” 

“Wrap your hands around your own! You’re being weird.” Donghyuk furrowed his brows at his friend squatting behind him. 

The door opened and Chanwoo looked at them with one eyebrow raised and a vaguely unnerved expression. “Like I knew you weren’t comparing dicks.” Chanwoo indicated the two of them. “But this is somehow harder to understand.” 

Donghyuk and Jinhwan started whining at Chanwoo at the same time and he threw his head back in a dramatic sigh as he ignored them and went back to the kitchen where he had served breakfast. Jinhwan was pouty until coffee appeared in front of him. Chanwoo made them a simple breakfast of eggs and rice with bacon. 

“What got you up and motivated today Chanu?” 

“My mom is coming over later, I want to clean.” Chanwoo said as he chomped down on some bacon. 

“She’s just going to clean anyway.” Donghyuk said with a shrug, “I think it’s just a mom thing. Doesn’t matter how spotless the apartment is.” 

I need to do laundry,” Chanwoo said and then pointed at Donghyuk and shushed him before he could speak (Donghyuk only made it as far as opening his mouth.) “And no I will not do yours at the same time last time I had a thong stuck to my favourite sweater and I didn’t even notice until my mom came over.” 

“You shouldn’t wash your thongs in the drier oh my god Donghyuk.” Jinhwan scolded him. “No wonder you’re always broke. I bet you have to replace them monthly, you have to take care of your outfits!” 

“I needed it for that night! I don’t do it all the time.” Donghyuk whined in reply. 

“And this is exactly why I’m kicking you two out so I can clean and she can have a peaceful visit.” Chanwoo said with a little nod. “You have half an hour.” 

Donghyuk and Jinhwan tidied up his room together (pausing frequently to discuss whatever thing Jinhwan picked up, outfits for work, a whole bin of body paint, his shelf of erotica (literature and DVD) and even a stash of sex toys. At that point Donghyuk called him out for just snooping). Chanwoo kicked them out after 30 minutes like he promised and the two of them decided a thrift shopping date was probably the best use of their time before they went back to work. 

Hanbin had been staring at a blinking cursor for the best part of three hours. Slumped down in his chair, holding his temple with a few fingers. He tried to empty his mind and let the song fill it like he usually did, but when he tried to empty his mind another song came to mind. Not his, the one the stripper DK had danced to. The one that he moved to up on the stage, around the pole, in front of his face as he sat in a private booth. One on one. The privacy made him feel smothered somehow. Overwhelmed even before they had touched skin to skin. 

“Fuck,” Hanbin sighed and slumped forward to hold his face with his hands. He laughed after a moment and stretched his cheeks out with his tongue. This is what you get when you go solo too long huh? One night of paid sex and your brain gets addicted to the dopamine. He stood and held his desk. He looked at the song file and the empty lyric file beside it. The cursor got three more blinks before he deleted everything, emptied his trash and grabbed his jacket. He left his studio and walked down the hall to one just as familiar. 

“Jaewon.” Hanbin said as he knocked and opened the door. 

“Mm?” Jaewon looked over at him, his hands were on top of his head casually, he was also looking at a lyric screen, his looked mostly complete however. 

“Give me your shirt.” Hanbin said, dropped his jacket and started pulling off his sweater. Jaewon always wore nice collared shirts. 

“O...kay?” Jaewon stood and took off his shirts as Hanbin asked, replacing it with Hanbin’s sweater. “Are you late for a costume party?” 

“Thanks.” Hanbin looked at him, nodded and then picked up his jacket, he left the shirt mostly undone. He left the studio and Jaewon looked at Hanbin’s back with a raised eyebrow until the studio door closed. He sat back down and half expected Hanbin to come back in and explain himself. He didn’t. 

Hanbin drove himself to the club and sat outside of it for a while. The purple and blue neon shining gorgeously on his custom paint job. He leaned forward and played with his bottom lip gently. What were the chances DK would be in again? What where the chances that he’d even get into a private booth with him? What where the chances it did anything for how frustratingly unproductive his brain was? 

“Fuck...” Hanbin said in a sharp exhale as he finally got out of his car and headed into the club. 

He paid for VIP again, his jacket was taken for him and a bottle of whiskey was waiting for him with a clear view of the stage. He didn’t know who was dancing, they weren’t as good as DK. They were stiff and seemed new. He ignored the stage and scanned the floor around, it was easy to spot the strippers. They all had dyed hair and flashy outfits. He spotted a pink haired stripper first, he was posing cutely and laughing with a few patrons. Hanbin drank a whole glass in one gulp before he scanned again. The music tonight was more sensual, an erotic sort of trance vibe instead of thumping pop remixes. 

He drank one more glass before standing and making sure his shirt was still styled to his liking before heading down to the main floor. He had to avoid a few flirty fellow patrons and the new stripper who had just finished on the stage. He chewed his lip and decided just to get another set in the front row against the stage. Maybe he’d get lucky. Maybe he’s sit here until 2am and find he wasted his time. Somehow he didn’t mind either option. 

The next dancer was good. Really good. They used the pole well and the stage. Hanbin tipped them and gave them a little half smile. Maybe he didn’t need DK again. It was just the brain chemicals he was suffering for anyway. He looked around again, spotting the pale silver hair and feeling a lerch in his stomach as he stood suddenly. His spot was taken immediately. 

He walked over, getting just close enough to watch DK work on another patron. He was wearing only jeans low on his hips, there was something intoxicating about the way the stripper was dragging his fingers along his own vline. He licked his lips and decided he’d keep waiting. After the other patron turned away, Donghyuk chewed the inside of his mouth a little, he looked disappointed for a moment. When he turned and saw Hanbin however, his face brightened. It was relief that turned his mouth up in a smile. Hanbin felt his chest grow warm as they walked towards each other. 

“Welcome back.” Donghyuk said and Hanbin smiled and nodded at him. 

“I wasn’t sure if...you’d be here.” Hanbin replied with his usual endearing charm. 

“Did you come back just to see me?” Donghyuk smiled and bit his lip as he waited for Hanbin to reply. 

“I… think so...Yes” Hanbin said softly and chewed at his lips as he watched Donghyuk bite his.

“It would be my absolute pleasure to be yours again.” Donghyuk smiled and pulled Hanbin by his hands towards the private booths.

“No-” Hanbin planted his feet firmly. “I mean… I want… more time with you. Not here.” 

Donghyuk looked at the floor and exhaled before chewing the inside of his mouth thoughtfully. He knew better than to take home the same John more than once. He knew better. He looked for the closest bouncer and then back at Hanbin. 

“Baby, it doesn’t work like that everytime.” He said with his usual smile. 

“How much would it cost for that to change?” Hanbin asked, his eyebrows drooped. Of course he’d be freaked out. Hanbin felt like an idiot. 

Donghyuk wasn’t sure what to make of Hanbin’s expression. He seemed lonely, but not pathetically so. He was still holding his hands. “Let’s go talk in the booth.” Donghyuk said finally. 

Hanbin nodded and Donghyuk let one of his hands go to lead him to the private area. Once seated in the chair, Donghyuk got into his lap like usual.

“I’m not supposed to go home with patrons you now.” Donghyuk said softly, he was focusing on moving his hips just right to tease Hanbin’s crotch. “You’re going to get me in trouble.” 

“Was I an exception or rebellion?” Hanbin asked as he looked at Donghyuk’s face. 

Donghyuk smiled a little. “Exception.” 

Hanbin turned his gaze down to Donghyuk’s abs and v line, and then his thighs. He looked up at Donghyuk’s face again, running a hand up one of the dancer’s thighs. “Then you can make it again, right?” Hanbin asked as his hand got closer and closer to Donghyuk’s hip. 

Donghyuk bit his lip and pushed his hips up against Hanbin’s torso, arching his back as he teased a little view of his happy trail. Hanbin made a noise, completely involuntary and completely embarrassing. Donghyuk smiled dangerously and then leaned forward. 

“You can meet me at the subway station. 3:30” Donghyuk whispered into Hanbin’s ear. 

Donghyuk didn’t wait to see whatever expression Hanbin had on his face. He left the booth without waiting for payment either. He exhaled and was walking faster than normal when someone gently caught his arm. 

“Alright?” 

Donghyuk looked at the bouncer that stopped him. “I’m alright Junhoe, no worries.” 

Junhoe furrowed his brow a little. “You seem off?” 

“Just need another vodka, no worries.” Donghyuk pushed Junhoe’s hand off of him and smiled brightly. “Leave him alone. He didn’t do anything to me.” 

Junhoe nodded, but still watched the patron leave with a hard stare. Hanbin fixed his outfit and exhaled before opening the door. The booth was technically his for another  twenty minutes to allow for some “alone time” to deal with any kind of erection or other such responses to a private dance, but Hanbin didn’t need it. He was happy and not happy with the offer to meet the stripper. The bouncer at the top of the stairs stopped him before he passed. 

“Watch yourself huh?” 

Hanbin looked the bouncer over, honestly just as attractive as any of the dancers. He nodded, and straightened his collar again before going back to his VIP booth. He watched the dancers, appreciating their skill and the sensual way they moved. He asked for some bar nuts to come up just so he could fight off some of the drunk that was taking him over. He lasted about an hour before he went out to his car. No phones were allowed inside the club, which was a blessing for Hanbin. He took it out of his glovebox and was greeted with 16 new messages. He ignored all of them except for Bobby’s. 

_ BB: Jae just said u came n swapped shirts wit him lmao  _

_ BB: Random man _

_ BB: Yo u leave? Before midnight?  _

_ BB: Hello? _ ? 

Hanbin exhaled through his nose, now that he’d opened the messages he had to reply. 

_ HB: I needed a change of scenery. Wasn’t working for me today.  _

_ BB: Jeez.  _

_ BB: finally.  _

_ BB: Well where did u go letz meet up  _

_ HB: Nah. Tmr maybe.  _

_ BB: Sure man  _

_ BB: Call me anytime I’ll be there  _

_ HB: Sounds good.  _

Hanbin smiled a little at his friend’s concern. Appreciating it as much as it annoyed him. 

_ HB: Thanks.  _

_ BB: I got chu boy  _

Donghyuk wasn’t sure what to make of his decision to meet up with his Daddy Warbucks again. He was done changing before Jinhwan and sat beside him at his station to ask his friend’s opinion. 

“Listen, Donghyukie.” Jinhwan turned to face him and hold his knees affectionately. “You deserve it. You deserve the sex, and the money.” 

“I know but…” Donghyuk exhaled. “It feels weird.” 

“Sweetie. Baby.” Jinhwan held Donghyuk’s face. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Donghyuk said automatically. 

“You’re not doing anything wrong.” Jinhwan said firmly. “Take his money, give him an orgasm. If he makes it weird then call me, I’ll beat the shit out of him.” 

“Okay.” Donghyuk said and then laughed a little. “But… I’ve never done more than one night…. And never for anything other than rent money. It feels, I dunno not like a mistake...dishonest?”

“So call it ‘Orgasms for Esther.’or something. It’s not like you’ll keep any of it for yourself.” Jinhwan shrugged and went back to cleaning his face. 

“I cannot express how completely I refuse to associate my orgasms with my little sister.” Donghyuk laughed and Jinhwan swatted him for making his sentiments weird. 

“I’m serious, call me if you need to get out. I will literally rip his throat out.” 

“You’re on speed dial.” Donghyuk assured and stood to get his bag and head to his usual subway station. 


	4. Apodyosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apodyosis (n) the act of mentally undressing someone

Hanbin almost didn’t recognize DK as he leaned against a newspaper box. In his jeans, backpack and baggy sweater with his hood up he looked like any generic street kid. The stripper didn’t really know what to expect in terms of cars either. So Hanbin ended up parking and getting out for a second. 

“Oh, Hey.” Donghyuk smiled at him and put his hood down. Hanbin smiled a little at the dancer’s relaxed expression as he picked up his bag and walked over to the car. “Sweet ride.” 

“Yeah, a birthday present.” Hanbin looked at his car and nodded a little. He waited until Donghyuk opened the passenger side door before getting back in. Donghyuk was slowly looking around at the car’s details and Hanbin watched him for a few seconds. He loved how delicately he traced the stitching in the leather. “Thank you.” 

Donghyuk looked over at Hanbin who was already looking at his face and laughed a little. “I haven’t even done anything yet?” 

“You met me, you shouldn’t have. So, thank you.” Hanbin said and licked his lips and looked at his hands.  

“Babe, don’t make this heavy. Let’s just go enjoy ourselves, okay?” Donghyuk reached over and touched Hanbin’s leg affectionately. 

Hanbin blushed a little and nodded. “Okay.” 

Donghyuk looked out the window and watched the neighbourhood he knew turn into one unfamiliar. Uptown was so different. So clean. Sterile. He wasn’t sure he fully liked it, even if he liked the modern aesthetic. 

“How long have you lived here?” Donghyuk asked as they turned into a parking garage. 

“A few years now,” Hanbin said as he drove up to his usual spot. “It was living in an apartment way over across the river before. This put me super close to work.” 

Donghyuk made a soft humming noise of appreciation for the sentiment of being close to work. When Hanbin was done parking they both got out at the same time. Donghyuk fixed his sweater and slung his bag over his shoulder again. Hanbin locked his car and unbuttoned his jacket on their way to the elevator. Once inside and on their way up, Hanbin chewed his mouth a little and looked over at Donghyuk. The stripper was looking up, the walls were mirror, as was the ceiling so the dancer was amused looking at himself from so many angles. 

Hanbin was hoping that his nerves were just the last of his whiskey buzz leaving his system. He opened the door to his penthouse and let Donghyuk go in first. He unbuttoned his shirt all the way as he kicked off his shoes. 

“Want anything?” Hanbin asked as he went to his kitchen. 

“I’d have some wine if you had any.” Donghyuk said as he looked around, he took off his sweater and walked over to the wall of windows, the nighttime view was even better than the daytime one had been from the bedroom. 

Hanbin found a dusty bottle of wine (he was more of a hard alcohol guy) and set to opening it as he kept looking over at his guest. Donghyuk took off his sweater, tossing it on the closest chair. Hanbin released his stripper outfit had literally just been simple street clothes. It was just the body they were on that made them erotic. He poured some wine into a glass and went over to the dancer, sensually wrapping a hand around his torso, caressing the bare skin. Donghyuk made a soft noise and reached back to run his hand through Hanbin’s hair. He rolled his pelvis backward, grinding his ass into Hanbin’s crotch. Hanbin bit his lip a little and passed the wine glass over finally. Donghyuk turned and sipped his wine, changing his focus to Hanbin’s exposed chest. 

“I like this,” Donghyuk said with a little warm smile as he traced Hanbin’s chest tattoo. 

Hanbin looked down at Donghyuk’s hand, he felt his blood starting to rush with the buzz of arousal. Donghyuk watched Hanbin’s face as he trailed his hand down his abs and then over his pants. Already he could feel him starting to stiffen, Donghyuk drank the rest of his wine in one go and dropped to his knees. 

Hanbin exhaled out a noise of arousal, the sudden intensity of it made him ache. Donghyuk’s mouth touched the top of his hip tattoo and started trailing down as he popped open his pants. Hanbin couldn’t help but run his hand through Donghyuk’s hair again. He was rewarded with a kiss to his fingers. When Donghyuk looked up at him again, Hanbin traced the stripper’s mouth. Donghyuk turned his head and took Hanbin’s fingers into his mouth. Hanbin felt something like a hot air balloon expand in his chest as Donghyuk’s tongue teased what it wanted to do to his dick. 

“Fuck.” Hanbin breathed and bit his lip a little. He used his free hand to push down his pants. 

Donghyuk released Hanbin’s fingers and laughed a little, kissing the newly exposed skin. “Tell me what you want baby.”

Hanbin licked his lips. “I want…” Hanbin’s mind flooded with his instinctive responses.  _ I want to forget who I am. I want to forget my name. I want to be so fucked up I don’t think _ .

Donghyuk bit his lip as he started caressing Hanbin’s erection with his hands before adding his mouth just for a second. 

“Hard question huh?” Donghyuk laughed a little and stood, still stroking Hanbin’s cock. “Maybe I should have asked before I sent all the blood down here?”  

“I want to get drunk on you.” Hanbin said and trailed his hands over each feature as he named it. “Black out drunk from your mouth, your hands, your neck.” He leaned forward and kissed Donghyuk’s neck as his hands slid down his body and into the strippers’ pants. “And your dick,” he whispered. “I want to feel your sex like a hangover that lasts for days.” 

Donghyuk let out a little grunt of appreciation before he took Hanbin’s face in his hands and kissed him deeply. Hanbin pulled back slightly, leading him into a walk so he could take him to his bedroom. Donghyuk unbuttoned his jeans as he followed after Hanbin, who was walking backwards. There was something about the pseudo chase that felt electric. The heat was back in Hanbin’s chest. Donghyuk felt a pleasant sort of churning in his stomach as Hanbin pushed his hair back and then turned to go into his room. 

Hanbin set the lighting in his room with the controls at the door and Donghyuk took off his jeans and waited for Hanbin to turn. As soon as they were facing each other Donghyuk wrapped him up in another kiss. He grabbed Hanbin’s ass and lifted him slightly so their pelvises could grind together. Hanbin let out a needy moan and bit at Donghyuk’s lip. When Donghyuk set him down again he pushed them to his bed. Hanbin pulled off Donghyuk’s hands, and trailed his hands down Donghyuk’s legs and abs, Donghyuk flexed his muscles to show off a little. He was rewarded with Hanbin’s grunty growl as he got on top of him. 

“You wanna play up there huh?” Donghyuk smiled and pressed down on Hanbin’s thighs and thrust up against his ass. 

“As you probably figured out-” Hanbin replied to the thrust with a teasing sweep of his hips. “I appreciate a good view.” 

Donghyuk smiled and bit his lip, completely charmed by Hanbin’s response. He lifted his hips again and shimmed out of his boxers. Hanbin pulled Donghyuk up to kiss him as he rocked himself against Donghyuk’s erection underneath him. Donghyuk moaned softly, holding him tightly as he kissed along his shoulder and neck. Hanbin rocked with more vigour, the friction of his cock against Donghyuk’s abs building into delicious pleasure. Donghyuk licked his lips and reached down to angle is erection so Hanbin could drop himself onto it on his next pass. Hanbin slowly lowered himself, his mouth slack with mumbles of pleasure. 

“There you go,” Donghyuk praises him softly as he smiled at how Hanbin’s eyes seemed to cloud with pleasure. 

Hanbin shut his eyes for a moment, just to block out everything but the pleasure as it flooded him. When he opened his eyes, Donghyuk’s soft gaze made him tremble. It felt incredible to be looked at like that. He leaned over and started to kiss at Donghyuk’s neck, biting and licking as he dropped himself harder and harder. Donghyuk moaned and tightened his grip before rolling over. Hanbin protested with a whine until Donghyuk’s thrusts started again. He pulled at Donghyuk until their chests were touching. 

Hanbin was affectionate, Donghyuk released. His favourite positions were ones he could hold Donghyuk against him as the stripper thrust into him. He smiled a little and kissed him, his thrusts switched to slow and intoxicating ones. Hanbin whined and gasped. 

“Fuck you feel so-” He groaned and bit his lip as Donghyuk slapped into him suddenly. “so good.” 

“It’s all for you baby.” Donghyuk replied with a grin and switched their positions again so Hanbin was up on his thighs again. “Enjoy it.” 

Hanbin cried out with euphoria at how deeply he could get Donghyuk inside of him. It triggered a wild sort of impulse to growl and whine. Donghyuk wrapped a hand around Hanbin’s cock and the producer rolled his bottom lip in and groaned in satisfaction. 

“Yes,” Hanbin gasped softly. “Yes, fuck.” 

“I want to see you cum baby,” Donghyuk replied and licked his lips. “Come on, let me see.” 

Hanbin grunted slightly with effort, and let out a whine before he felt that weightless feeling of the rush of pre-climax brain chemistry. He gasped, his mouth dropping open as he earnestly bucked his hips. Donghyuk said something, but it was too soft for Hanbin’s brain to process over the deafening quality his pleasure had taken on. His head flopped slightly but his grip on Donghyuk didn’t loosen even as they fell back into the mattress so Donghyuk could thrust earnestly. Hanbin cursed and grabbed Donghyuk’s hair before letting out a near shout, tightening his grip on Donghyuk’s hair as he came. Donghyuk’s throaty noise of pleasure was lost in Hanbin’s post climax moans. 

“God,” Donghyuk moaned and collapsed beside Hanbin. “Holy shit.” 

Hanbin rolled over and pulled Donghyuk into an embrace. He shut his eyes and rolled his lips in as he pressed his forehead against the dancer. “Thank you.” 

“It was my absolute pleasure.” Donghyuk smiled and laughed gently, pulling Hanbin in for more affection. 

The sleep they dropped into was so deep the sun didn’t wake them. They didn’t move from their position either. They stayed wrapped up in each other, uncovered by the blankets. They didn’t even hear the door open. Yunhyeong had found Hanbin undressed before, he’d found him in various stages of drunk, hungover, exhausted, fresh out of the shower, sick, etc. However, there were still some firsts to be had. Finding him naked, in bed, with some attractive stranger, was a first. He blushed, unsure of what to do somehow. Sneaking off felt dishonest, waking him up felt awkward. Still blushing he exhaled, decided awkward honesty was better than any form of dishonesty and went over to shake Hanbin’s shoulder. Doing his best not to steal too many glances at their nudity. 

“Hanbin.” Yunhyeong did his best loud whisper as he shook Hanbin’s shoulder again. “Hanbin!"

“Hmm?” Hanbin barely stirred. Yunhyeong shook him again and Hanbin turned over, exposing both himself and the other naked man in the bed completely. Even Yunhyeong’s ears had turned red at this point. 

“It’s nearly 1pm. Bobby has called me twice looking for you.” 

“Fuck.” Hanbin grunted out shortly as a stretch took him over. He looked up at Yunhyeong in a squint. 

“I didn't know you had… company. I’m sorry.” Yunhyeong said with another look over at Donghyuk sleeping. 

“Can you make some coffee?” Hanbin sat up and rubbed his face. 

Yunhyeong nearly sprinted out of the room in gratitude. Instead he nodded and turned. Hanbin watched Yunhyeong leave before turning back to Donghyuk. 

“You can stop pretending now, he’s gone.” Hanbin said with a little half smile. 

Donghyuk smiled and laughed a little as he opened his eyes. “Sorry. That was really awkward.” 

“Yeah, that’s pretty much my life.” Hanbin laughed softly and then leaned over to kiss Donghyuk again. 

“How did you know I was pretending?” Donghyuk asked with a little curious grin. “I thought I did a good job.” 

“You stopped snoring.” Hanbin teased and slapped him on the ass before swiftly leaving the bed before Donghyuk could reply. 

Yunhyeong was just finishing with two cups of coffee when Hanbin came out, fully dressed and smoothing out his hair. Yunhyeong looked at Hanbin and then the coffee. “I didn’t know if… your company was staying.”

“I don’t think so,” Hanbin said and sipped his coffee, he usually put enough milk in it he could drink it right away. Yunhyeong made the coffee the same way for him, so he went ahead and drank the whole thing quickly. The mood was thick between them but Hanbin ignored it, waiting for Donghyuk to come out of his room. 

Donghyuk walked out and went to put his sweater on in the living room. Yunhyeong watched his abs disappear under the fabric with a little swallow and then looked back at Hanbin. 

“I’m happy for you.” 

“It’s not like that.” Hanbin said with a shake of his head as he reached into his pocket and went over to Donghyuk. Yunhyeong felt himself blush a little as Hanbin gave the other man some money and whispered something. The man smiled and kissed his cheek before walking to the entryway. “I’m going to go drop him off downtown and then go to work. Thanks for comin’ up. I would have slept until evening.”

“Sure.” Yunhyeong nodded and watched Hanbin walk after the other man. 

Hanbin opened the door for them and they went to the elevator in silence. Once the doors closed Donghyuk amused himself as he looked at the mirrored ceiling again. 

“He’s my neighbour.” Hanbin said finally. 

“He seems nice.” Donghyuk said looking at Hanbin finally. “Maybe a little shy.” 

Hanbin laughed a little and looked at his feet. “I think that’s to be expected when you meet someone new.” 

“Even with there clothes on I expect.” Donghyuk laughed a little. “I think I know his face from somewhere?” 

“Yeah, he’s a model. Mostly clothes and skin products.” Hanbin said and looked over at him. 

“You’re lucky to have such eye candy to wake you up every morning.” Donghyuk smiled. 

“Yeah it’s not bad.” Hanbin agreed and blushed a little, rubbing the back of his head. 

They went back to his car and Donghyuk checked his pockets to make sure he hadn’t forgotten anything. The drive wasn’t going to be long, just to a familiar subway station. Hanbin found a spot to park a half block away from the entrance. 

“Thanks for the ride.” Donghyuk said as he unbuckled his seatbelt and went to open the door. 

“Um, DK.”

“Call me Donghyuk.” Donghyuk replied with a soft smile. “DK is just for stage.” 

Hanbin felt a comfortable flutter in his heart. He smiled broadly, unable to hide his pleasure at the privilege of knowing the stripper’s real name.  “Let’s meet again, maybe soon?” 

Donghyuk bit his lip to try and stop a smile at how cute Hanbin’s smile at been but was unable to. He smiled wide, showing his perfect teeth.  “Yeah.” Donghyuk nodded and got out of the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that comments are the best way to keep writers motivated and keep the updates coming


	5. Velleitie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> velleitie (n) a wish or powerful desire for something that cannot be pursued

Hanbin pulled into his studio parking spot, looking at his sign. Reserved Parking - CEO. After a long sigh that flapped his lips he got out of his car and locked it. The security guard nodded at him and Hanbin nodded back after a second. He went to the elevator and looked at the call button. Upstairs to his office? Downstairs to his studio. He pressed the down button and chewed at his lips a little. By the time the elevator came he had released his lips and was muttering a song as he pressed the floor button. He went to the lounge first to see who was already in. He was extremely pleased to see Jaewon. 

“Morning Bin.” Jaewon called and raised his cup of coffee at him.

“Hey.” Hanbin replied with a smile and went over to the brewing station to get set with his own coffee. He hated coffee truthfully, but if he added too much sugar and milk he could get it down and enjoy the benefits of the caffeine. 

“Did my shirt serve you well?” Jaewon asked with a little grin. 

“Very.” Hanbin replied with a little laugh. 

“Where did you have to go in such a hurry anyway?” Jaewon asked as Hanbin stirred his coffee, he could hear the grit of the sugar from where he was sitting and wrinkled his nose in disgust. 

Hanbin thought hard for a moment, his mouth twitching a little as he finished stirring and went over to sit with Jaewon. “I went to a strip club and paid a stripper to have sex with me.” 

Jaewon’s immediate response was a beaming smile. “Are you serious?”

“Mmhmm.” Hanbin said as he took a sip of his coffee. “First time was a little bit of an impulse, but I went back last night definitely on purpose.”

“My shirt was your wing man then?” Jaewon laughed. “Glad to be of service.” 

Hanbin laughed a little with Jaewon and they sipped at their coffees. Hanbin was feeling squirmy somehow, like he wanted to share more but didn’t know what to share. 

“Wait, so was it the same stripper?” Jaewon asked suddenly. “Or different ones?” 

Hanbin perked up at Jaewon’s interest. “Same one, DK.” Hanbin wasn’t sure why he included the name, like Jaewon would just know the roster by heart? He laughed a little. “He’s really incredible.” 

“As a stripper or a shag?” 

“Both?” Hanbin laughed and Jaewon clapped a little in enjoyment. “I’ll probably go back again to be honest.”

“Why not just date someone? Like a real relationship?”

“This is a real relationship. I really give him money, he really makes me cum. Really.” Hanbin  said and Jaewon laughed and shook his head. 

“Forget I said anything man.” Jaewon said with a sort of half smile, half grimace. He didn’t want Hanbin to end up being one of those pathetic dudes who live in delusion. “You know… It’s not real, eh? They’re all trained to do this, they make you feel special but they just want your money.”

“I’ve got money to spare,” Hanbin shrugged. “It’s the feeling special I don’t have.” 

Jaewon shook his head and looked at Hanbin a while before speaking. “Well it’s your life anyway. Don’t forget to bring my shirt back.” 

“Yeah, no problem.” Hanbin had a memory of Donghyuk on his knees looking up at him, Jaewon’s shirt all unbuttoned. “As soon as I do some laundry.” 

“Yes, I definitely want it washed.” Jaewon laughed and stood.

Hanbin laughed at himself and chewed his tongue charmingly as he went to his studio. He sat down in front of his computer and sighed a little, it was a happy sigh he realised and laughed a little. Maybe a few orgasms was all he needed to reset his mood. He put his fingers on his mouth gently and let his mind wander. He was rewarded with a sensual beat line. He tapped along with it until a humm of a tune made him open his eyes and get to work. 

 

~*~

Donghyuk counted his money discreetly on the subway. He could give Esther another healthy chunk next time he saw her and get a treat for Chanwoo. He was more than pleased, excited even as he got off the subway a station early, but passed the pizza place in favour of a bakery. He loaded up his tray with two each of all their favourites, got a couple bubble teas to go and couldn’t wait to surprise Chanwoo. 

“I’m home!” 

“About time! I nearly called your work!” Chanwoo replied and hurried out to meet him. 

“Sorry!” Donghyuk apologized and offered up his bakery haul. 

Chanwoo took them and looked at Donghyuk suspiciously. “You were smart?” He was unsure if Donghyuk really was out sleeping with someone again or not, but it was the most casual way to ask. Usually Donghyuk kept Chanwoo completely in the loop with his choices and goals for earning money any given night. It was upsetting to have him gone all night with no warning. 

“Same guy, the big tipper.” Donghyuk replied and took back the goodies and took them to the kitchen to plate. “He came to work again last night and offered,” 

“And paid well again?” Chanwoo laughed a little as the buns, tarts and pastries seemed endless. “Holy crap Donghyuk.” 

“What? I’m hungry.” Donghyuk shrugged and finished the prep by getting the straws stabbed into the bubble tea cups. 

Chanwoo pushed his lips up and kept eyeing Donghyuk suspiciously as they went to the table to start eating. Donghyuk shoved half a pork bun into his mouth and then finally noticed that Chanwoo was eyeing him. 

“What?” he asked, slumping a little with annoyance. “Upset I didn’t get a chocolate danish?” 

“You’ve never done this twice is all.” Chanwoo said and sipped his tea. “Like the same dude.” 

“Yeah usually I don’t want to, this time I did.” Donghyuk shrugged. “Does my monogamy offend you?” 

Chanwoo laughed and Donghyuk grinned at him and they both ate until they couldn’t stomach anymore. Chanwoo packed up the leftovers and talked to Donghyuk who was still sitting at the table. 

“So what’s special about this guy?” 

“What’s with the special interest?” Donghyuk laughed a little as he shook his tea to get more boba into his straw. 

“I dunno I just want to know about the guy that made you break your pattern.” Chanwoo said with a shrug as he finished cleaning up, putting the leftovers either in the fridge or the cupboard as needed. He went back to sit and drink more of his bubble tea. “It feels like I should know about him if he’s going to be paying my grocery bill.”

“He pays well and he’s pretty.” Donghyuk shrugged with a little pout “I dunno he’s just… really cuddly? It’s nice. I like it.” 

“I’m cuddly.” Chanwoo took on an authentic looking expression of hurt. “Am I not good enough for you?” 

“Yeah but you won’t suck dick or eat ass so really what is the good of you.” Donghyuk looked at Chanwoo flatly. 

“I pay my share of rent.” Chanwoo offered with his hands open palm up. “I am also good at cuddling?” 

“Valid, I guess.” Donghyuk sighed dramatically and then laughed. “Since you’re so mouthy about it today, let’s watch a movie and cuddle.” 

“Sure.” Chanwoo laughed. “But if you start fondling my flabby abs again I will leave.”

“I love your tummy” Donghyuk pouted viciously and gave Chanwoo puppy eyes. 

“No.” Chanwoo scolded like he was talking to a naughty toddler, pointing one finger at Donghyuk and wagging it. “No fondling.” 

“I’m going to fondle you.” Donghyuk said with a serious but endearing pout. 

“End credits only.” Chanwoo replied, starting the bargain. 

“False climax.” Donghyuk replied. 

“True climax.” Chanwoo said firmly. “And not a second before.” 

“Deal.” Donghyuk agreed and they had a silly moment of serious eye contact and hand shaking before sharing a laugh and going to their living room to find a movie. 

 

~*~

Yunhyeong had been distracted all morning. It was a great day to be distracted as all they did was fittings and he had to stand still all day, but that was about the only up side. Hanbin was sleeping with, or had slept with, another man. Kim Hanbin, a man who gave no clues about his personality in his clean modern apartment. No art, only music awards and golden record frames on the walls. Kim Hanbin who’d been naked in front of him at least two other times. Sleeping with men. Yunhyeong was a man, who also liked sleeping with men, and he was profoundly upset at himself.

_ ‘I’m happy for you’ _

Somehow that was the only thing that he could think of to say. He was legitimately happy that Hanbin had company. Even temporary company as it was. Truthfully Yunhyeong knew that he should have expected this day, given that Hanbin had kissed him on Christmas of last year. Hanbin did not remember this, he didn’t remember most of the week of Christmas thanks to his borderline suicidal combination of lack of sleep, stimulants and drinking too much at parties. Yunhyeong had pretty much pushed it all out of his mind. The trauma of seeing Hanbin like that was healed with his daily check ins. He was happy that Hanbin had company, because it meant that he could not slip so far down that he would be in danger if left alone again.

_ ‘I’m happy for you’  _

Happier if it were him instead of the man from this morning maybe. He shook his head, annoyed with the fact his brain always taunted him with thoughts of a relationship with Hanbin. Even before this morning confirmed the right sexual orientation. They would never work, whoever Yunhyeong dated would be blasted with press, Hanbin lived his life avoiding it at all times. He didn’t even like talking about his work in public. He sighed. 

“Careful! The pins!” the stylist scolded him gently. 

He apologized and willed his brain to wander to less melancholy things. Three hours later he was done and ready to head home. He stopped at a grocery store to pick up some things for supper. He was at the self check out before he realised he automatically got enough for two again. Hanbin was always on his mind, even the subconscious parts. He sighed and continued his transaction so he could get home. 

As soon as he was home he left his groceries on the counter and put his apron on over his stylish outfit. He was always thankful he worked in an industry that suited his style tastes. No one would ever question his obsession with trendy button ups as a model. He twirled his favourite frying pan (yes, he had a favourite, it was copper) once before setting it on his stove and then getting his cutting board. He looked at his watch and figured he had about four hours before Hanbin’s potential return to his penthouse. 

“I wonder if… his friend.” Yunhyeong spoke aloud just by habit. He wasn’t sure what to call Hanbin’s company this morning, but he still wondered if he should make more just so Hanbin could share if he needed to. He surveyed his groceries and then went to his fridge. “If I add more vegetables…” 

He started to whistle a song as he chopped, cooking was one of his greatest joys. Turning the raw ingredients into a meal was comforting. He was glad to have an excuse to cook the bigger portions too, somehow it felt more impressive. When it was done, he took some photos for his social media and then plated one portion and prepped the rest to take up to Hanbin in containers. He did all the dishes after clearing his plate and then went to watch TV until it was late enough for Hanbin to be home. He fell asleep around midnight, but woke up by habit only a few hours later. He yawned and stretched before taking his packed meal up to Hanbin’s penthouse. 

The door automatically unlocked for him as usual, but he was unsure about whether or not he should just walk in. He pressed the call button and decided to wait outside the door. Hanbin was half undressed as he answered the door. Yunhyeong swallowed and nodded, obviously Hanbin was in the middle of something again. 

“I brought some supper.” Yunhyeong said and held up the neatly packed meal. He swallowed and held his eye contact with Hanbin, feeling horrifically awkward. 

“Thanks,” Hanbin said and then looked at Yunhyeong weirdly. “Why are you… Why didn’t you just come in?”

“I wasn’t sure if…” Yunhyeong found himself blushing. “If you had company.” 

Hanbin’s mouth opened slightly in understanding. “Right.” He took the bag from Yunhyeong just so he’d put his arms down. When he did Yunhyeong tucked them close to his sides. “It’s just me, if you wanted to eat together… like usual?” 

Yunhyeong felt relief immediately, even his arms seemed to relax. “Of course. I’d love to.” 

Hanbin gave him a usual sort of goofy half smile and held the door open for him to come in. Yunhyeong followed him to his kitchen, he loved Hanbin’s view, even though he was just a floor above him, it made a world of difference. Yunhyeong’s suite was facing the other way. Hanbin was getting them plates first, so Yunhyeong got his bag and started with the containers. 

“I told you it wasn’t like that this morning didn’t I?” Hanbin said suddenly and Yunhyeong felt himself blush. “He’s just… a…” 

Yunhyeong looked at Hanbin as his neighbour seemed to struggle with vocabulary for a moment. Hanbin shrugged at no one and continued to speak. “Well, candidly, he’s a stripper I’ve invited over a few times to sleep with.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself-” 

“I just don’t want you to think you’re not welcome at my place whenever you want, like before.” Hanbin said as he stood beside Yunhyeong with the plates and cutlery. 

“Thank you,” Yunhyeong nodded his head a little and then laughed as he felt his blush worsen. “But maybe a sock on the doorknob next time?” 

Hanbin laughed, a big and proper laugh that made Yunhyeong join him. After agreeing, the two finally got into their late night meal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the comments!


	6. Alexithymia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alexithymia (n) difficulty in expressing emotional responses

Junhoe was used to being the first one in the building. He had been a key holder for nearly a year now and he was surprised with how much he enjoyed it. He turned on all the lights, turned on the AC or heat, whichever season it was, and once a week he would also put the chairs back after they were flipped onto tables to clean the floor. He had just started with the chairs when he heard the front door open. He knew it had to be a dancer, as they were the only ones to come in early to practise. 

“Morning!” 

Junhoe turned as Jinhwan set his bag down on the bar and went over to help Junhoe with the chairs. 

“Hey, you don’t have to do that.” 

“It’ll be a good arm warm up.” Jinhwan said cheerfully. 

Junhoe laughed a little and the two of them worked in silence for a few minutes. Jinhwan was probably the dancer Junhoe was closest with. He had been working at the club as long as Junhoe had been a bouncer. Jinhwan was serious about his routines and costumes, and he was often hired by the other dancers to help them as a result. Jinhwan could turn a $10 a night dancer into a $100 a night dancer in just one afternoon. 

“What you working on these days?” Junhoe asked to get a conversation going. 

“I want to change the middle of my school girl routine, it’s a bit boring.” Jinhwan replied. “Donghyuk has been killing it with his aerials, I want to add some.” 

“He does like to show off.” Junhoe laughed a little. 

“Eh, I would too with skills like that.” Jinhwan laughed with him and took a second to check his phone. 

“He had a weird patron the other night.” Junhoe said and paused his work to watch Jinhwan’s reaction. 

“What?” Jinhwan turned serious. “What kind of weird? He didn’t tell me about it.” 

“Yeah I dunno, he took a VIP to the private booths and left in a rush. He seemed off. The VIP came out three seconds after him not even hard. He must of been some kind of fetish dude that wanted something weird.” 

“Oh,” Jinhwan said after a moment. “VIP, I think I know who you’re talking about. You don’t need to worry about him.” 

Junhoe furrowed his brow at Jinhwan as the dancer went back to moving chairs. “Of course I need to worry about the weird ones.” 

“Aw, our noble white knight.” Jinhwan cooed affectionately. Junhoe had a reputation of being over protective of the dancers, but especially Donghyuk. Jinhwan figured he had a crush on Donghyuk, given the extra attention. “He’s just a John that Donghyuk is milking.” 

“A John??” Junhoe was annoyed again, his eyebrows even deeper on his forehead. “Like a proper John? Donghyuk goes home with him?” 

“Yes.” Jinhwan nodded. “Are you going to tell on him?” 

“I’m not, I’m just.” Junhoe exhaled. “Since when?” 

“A week or so ago? Why the interest?” Jinhwan asked and looked over at Junhoe again, maybe he’d get a confession and confirm his hunch about Junhoe’s crush. Junhoe stayed quiet until he finished the whole table’s worth of chairs. 

“It doesn’t upset you Donghyuk’s been hooking up for money?” Junhoe asked bluntly. 

Jinhwan shrugged and placed another chair. “I used to, I don’t see why Donghyuk can’t.” 

“You used to?” Junhoe was completely stunned. “You sold yourself for money?” 

“I sell myself every night for money babe.” Jinhwan laughed a little. “I am a fantasy, I don’t have any delusions about it.” 

“Dancing for money is not the same as selling yourself.” Junhoe said firmly. “They don’t own you because you gave them an erection.” 

Jinhwan smiled warmly and placed another chair. Junhoe felt his mouth turn up in a little half smile before he went back to placing chairs too. Jinhwan looked over at Junhoe discreetly, a thought bubbling up and begging to be shared. Even if Junhoe did have a crush, or maybe especially if he had a crush, he needed a line drawn. Jinhwan could do that for Donghyuk. 

“Donghyuk doesn’t need your permission or mine to do whatever he wants with his body.” Jinhwan said after a while, he leaned on the back of a chair. “The best we can do is be his friend. Support him, be there for him when he needs us. We get too much judgement from the rest of the world June, in here.. In here we should be safe from that. Okay?” 

Junhoe blushed a little, feeling scolded. He nodded. “Yeah, I understand. Sorry.” 

Jinhwan helped him with the chairs until they were all back at the tables like they should be. Junhoe went back to the bar to start set up there, and Jinhwan went to the change room. 

~*~

Hanbin was delighted to find he was wrapped up in songs again. He had a few started now and let himself get completely immersed in them. For six days he barely left his studio, pacing around and listening to the tracks over and over, trying to fit lyrics and even coming up with some dance moves. (He copied Donghyuk for some but blushed too badly and felt so embarrassed he had to sit down and recover.) When he finally reached the end of his whirlwind of composing and mixing he went home and had a long shower. He laid down on his bed naked and looked at the ceiling. He wanted to go back to the club. He wanted the energy of the place, the noise, without a song in his head he felt restless. He stood and got dressed. 

He sprayed his skin with a sultry cologne and then pulled on some boxers before going to his closet. He looked at Jaewon’s shirt and mumbled a little “oh shit” for forgetting it repeatedly. He moved it out of his way and looked for something that caught his eye. A royal purple silk shirt ended up being the winner, he pulled it on and then got a pair of black skinny fit pants to wear with it. He went back to the bathroom and fixed up his hair and checked his mouth for any missed hairs or otherwise unsightly things and then started to collect his things up for the night. A jacket, his wallet, some cash, he looked at his phone and tilted his head. He didn’t really need it, but he knew he should take it. He picked it up and went out to the main entrance to get his shoes on and check himself in the mirror. Satisfied he finally went to leave. He mumbled out his rap to a song he did last year just to fill the air as he went down to the lobby. As the doors opened, he was met by Yunhyeong. 

“Hey, you look good!” Yunhyeong smiled and laughed a little. “Headed out?”

“Yeah, same place as before.” Hanbin smiled shyly.

“Ah, should I expect a sock on your doorknob tomorrow morning?” Yunhyeong laughed softly and managed not to blush even though his smile was stretched wide with awkwardness. 

“I don’t know, I don’t think so this time.” Hanbin rubbed his neck. “You wanna come with me? No cameras allowed so no worries about paparazzi or anything.” 

“Maybe...another time.” Yunhyeong said, blushing faintly at the memory of the stripper in Hanbin’s bed. 

“Sure.” Hanbin said with a little nod and the two parted ways. 

Hanbin got his usual VIP booth and actually ordered a few appetizers from the bar menu. He had barely eaten all day and found himself starving now. He cleared his plates before ordering a bottle of whiskey, he hated having to wait for a server for a new glass. Stomach full and buzz building up, he started to watch the dancers more carefully. He had figured out that Donghyuk was never early on in the night, he was too good for that. He waited until he’d had a few glasses of his whiskey before going down to get a place at the stage bar between dancers. He sat through one dancer, giving him a few bills just for his sheer enthusiasm. Then Donghyuk came out. Hanbin thought he might pass out. 

Tightly fitted black pants, a clean cut sort of white collar button up with tie. Brow line glasses and boyish sort of styled hair. He could be a professor in a university except for how the whole outfit was sheer. The cheers and cat calls were louder than the music as Donghyuk looked over his glasses at them all like they were due a scolding. When the music started his expression changed to one significantly more teasing. 

“Who wants a lesson?” He asked before swinging himself into his routine with a new round of cheers. 

Hanbin found himself cheering with everyone as he smiled. 

The first part of the routine was mostly showing off his pole skills, once his muscles were pumped from the work out he started the flirting. He opened a few more buttons on his shirt so patrons could shove their money inside it. He got too close to people so they could get a better look at his thong under his sheer pants. More bills, more flirting. Hanbin slid a bill into Donghyuk’s shirt pocket and got a wink before he went back to the pole. The music changed subtly with a lighting change to sensual pink and Donghyuk started showing off a completely different skill set. His rolled his hips against the pole and rolled his lips in as he did it again.  

He turned, his expression intense and fiery. He grabbed the pole behind him and leaned against it, sliding down until his back arched out in an absurdly sexy angle. When he rolled his body sensually, his mouth opened in an erotic gasp. 

“Holy shit-” Hanbin said into his fingers as he watched Donghyuk unbutton his pants and push them down just a teasing amount before grinning and slickly grabbing the pole and flinging himself into an aerial. 

Donghyuk landed in a slide, his open pants face first into some insanely lucky patron just five seats away from Hanbin. Hanbin was going to chew the inside of his mouth raw. Somehow it was easier to manage his arousal when Donghyuk took his clothes off for the last part of his dance. The outfit was playing into some kind of fantasy Hanbin didn’t even know he had. When Donghyuk walked by him again Hanbin gave him a bill directly into his hand, Donghyuk ran it down his body and tucked it into the top of his thong. Hanbin found himself staring obnoxiously at the censoring fabric. His brain seemed to short circuit into a primal version of itself. He had to reach into his pants to pull his erection up as Donghyuk walked away and did one last trick on the pole before he was done. He walked around and gathered any loose bills before blowing kisses and walking backstage. Hanbin sat at the bar and exhaled and carefully stood, not so subtly trying to keep his erection tucked into the band of his boxers so it didn’t tent his dress pants. 

He went to the bar and ordered a double and downed it as he waited for Donghyuk to come back out. When he did he was wearing the sheer outfit again, Hanbin actually cursed as he went over to try and catch his attention. 

“I think I know the answer,” Donghyuk smiled at him and bit his lip. “But I’ll ask. Private dance?” 

“God yes.” Hanbin replied without caring how desperate he sounded. “Please.” 

Donghyuk bit his tongue and smiled as he motioned to the booths with a nod of his head. Hanbin was never so glad to get into that tiny room. He sat down in the chair and rolled his lips in to bite them as Donghyuk shut the door and got in front of him. 

“I thought you forgot about me.” 

Hanbin shook his head. 

“Well obviously, he hasn’t, hm?” Donghyuk grinned and pointed at Hanbin’s crotch. “You are a flatterer.” 

Hanbin blushed lightly as Donghyuk got close to him and sat in his lap Hanbin’s hips went up before he could stop them. Donghyuk laughed playfully and changed his stance so one gorgeous thigh was between Hanbin’s legs. Donghyuk pressed up against Hanbin again and made a point of jostling his erection with his thigh. 

“You can’t wait until later?” Donghyuk smiled at him endearingly, it made Hanbin blush. 

“I don’t want… to.” Hanbin had to pause as Donghyuk grinded his thigh against him again. 

“Go on then,” Donghyuk smiled and leaned forward to press his forehead against Hanbin’s and look down at his obvious erection and savoured how it looked pressed up against his thick thigh. 

Hanbin was bucking his hips before he could even process how horrifically desperate it made him look. The pleasure was more than he expected, as he worked himself against Donghyuk, the stripper kept affectionately whispering at him. Hanbin let out a gentle moan and slumped deeper into the chair. Donghyuk changed his position so Hanbin could keep the angle he needed. The stripper bit his lip, enjoying Hanbin’s overwhelmed expression and the energy he was still giving his eager frot. Donghyuk lost track of time, watching Hanbin was somehow satisfying in its own right. He usually kept the minutes tallied in his head, not wanting to overstay in a private dance, but he was caught up in Hanbin’s hot breath and sweat collecting on his neck. 

“Mm, fuck.” Hanbin gasped as he felt his orgasm draw so close and then slip away when he didn’t hit Donghyuk’s thigh just right. He went to use his hands, aching for climax. 

“Aw, don’t give up. You’re doing so good babe.” Donghyuk kissed Hanbin’s forehead and leaned over to do the motions with his leg against Hanbin’s erection himself. 

Hanbin’s hands went to cover his face for a second and then flopped back as he looked up at the ceiling as he accepted his fate. He let out a long and low groan as he felt himself climax in his pants. 

“What a show, I feel like I should pay you.” Donghyuk smiled and took a step back to watch Hanbin indulge in his post climax high. 

Hanbin smiled a little and then opened his eyes. “I think should go home and change my pants.” 

“I’d say we could trade but.” Donghyuk bit his lips and looked down at his outfit. “As cute as you’d look.” 

Hanbin laughed and reached into his pocket to give Donghyuk his payment (plus tip). Then Donghyuk excused himself to let Hanbin gather the sense to stand and head out to his car. He was the most uncomfortable he’d been in a while as he had to walk in his cum filled boxers, but he managed to get home without seeing anyone. Stripped and cleaned up he climbed into bed naked and found himself laughing softy at his night.  

In the morning he dressed and had coffee alone. Yunhyeong was up and away early for a photoshoot leaving Hanbin to fend for himself. He was in a pretty average mood as he rinsed off his breakfast dishes (leftover take out) and went to the studio. He didn’t even flirt with the idea of going up to his office. He was hoping he could start a new song. He’d only been sitting for three minutes when his door opened and a stern looking woman with dyed blonde hair walked in. Hanbin felt his skin prickle with alert. It was his Co-CEO, Lee Chaerin. Shit. 

“Are you ever coming to another board meeting?” 

Hanbin looked up at her and then back at his computer, he barely shook his head. Chaerin looked down at him sternly. After a few moments Hanbin looked up again and then turned to face her. 

“I don’t know what to tell you, I’m tired.” 

Chaerin picked up the closest energy drink can. “These don’t replace sleep.” She sighed and sat down on the bench behind Hanbin, and he turned  to face her, taking his headphones off. “You need to be real with me.” 

“I am being real.” Hanbin shrugged and rolled his neck. 

“We can’t run a business together the way we’re going now.” Chaerin said and put her hands together casually. 

“I know.” Hanbin said. “That’s what I don’t know.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“I don’t know what I want. I can’t write songs. I’m just tired.” Hanbin said and slumped in his chair. 

“What about a sabbatical?” Chaerin asked. “A few weeks away on a nice beach?” 

Hanbin shrugged again and Chaerin looked at the ceiling and tried to calm herself. “Hanbin, I need something to tell the board. You can’t keep hiding down here and thinking everything is fine. You’re the head of this company.” 

“So are you.” Hanbin snapped. “I don’t see why my being there should have any effect. You make all the choices anyway. I just made the music.” 

Chaerin rolled her lips in and nodded before standing. “You can have some time to come up with a real reply. We need to figure out what we’re doing as a company, for the future of all the artists and producers here. You’re having a rough time and we all empathize, but we can’t put everything on hold forever.”  

“Okay.” Hanbin said with a nod and Chaerin sighed, gave him a half hearted attempt at a smile and then turned and rubbed his shoulder as she left. 

Hanbin turned and put his face down on the desk, sighing so his lips flapped. It felt like only seconds had gone by before Hanbin’s studio door opened again. 

“Was that Chae down here?” Bobby asked and sat down where Chaerin had just been. 

Hanbin nodded. 

Bobby stood and pulled over the spare chair to sit beside Hanbin, he patted Hanbin’s back twice before leaning back and sitting comfortably. “Let’s work on something.” 

Hanbin sat up and woke up his computer. Bobby was always good for a distraction, he opened his “ongoing projects file” and three song icons had made their home there. 

“These are new?!” Bobby clapped happily and then slid closer to read the file names. “What happened to that other track.”

“Accepted its fate as garbage.” 

“You shouldn’t delete files man, you never know what can happen down the road you might get that perfect inspiration.” 

Hanbin shrugged. “There will be better songs.” 

Bobby shook his head and swatted Hanbin’s hand away gently to move the mouse over and open one of the files. He pulled the headphone jack out of the computer as well and turned up the volume. The track played, a ghost of a song, but the overall feeling was good. 

“Sexy.” Bobby nodded in appreciation. “Who is this for?” 

“I dunno yet, I need to think of who has the style to pull it off.” 

“Jae could do it.” Bobby said and tapped along to the beat. 

Hanbin agreed that Jaewon had the style to pull off the song, and after a few tweaks via Bobby’s advice they moved onto the next track. This one wasn’t as sensual, more intense. 

“You making a sex playlist?” Bobby laughed a little but still stood to dance a little to the song’s addicting beat. 

“Maybe I’ve had some good inspiration.” Hanbin grinned a little behind his hand. Bobby hit him and then sat down again. 

“One night of paid sex and you’re an R&B artist huh?” Bobby laughed and shook his head. 

“Two nights.” Hanbin said, getting serious as he held his chin and watched the beat tracker move along the song. Plus last night but he wasn’t about to tell Bobby he came in his pants. 

Bobby looked over at him and laughed, but it was half hearted and turned into mostly exhaled air. “Two? You catchin’ feelings for strippers or what?” 

Hanbin shrugged and closed the song. “It’s the only thing that… doesn’t make me… not miserable. Empty?” 

Bobby pursed his lips. “Sex doesn’t replace a therapist man.” 

“I don’t want a therapist.” Hanbin said and then opened the next track. “This one I think is for you.” 

Bobby looked at Hanbin until he sighed and focused on the music. “Yeah man, this sounds perfect for me.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll be posting a thread of photos on my twitter (_ikonbias) for which era the boys are from for this story. As always thank you for comments and letting me know if you're enjoying this story!


	7. Lethologica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lethologica (n) when you think of something but the word for it escapes you

Donghyuk was always the first one awake, no matter how late he stayed out after work. Chanwoo was always awake longer, sleeping later. Donghyuk usually amused himself with youtube videos, working out or playing on his phone until Chanwoo finally stirred or he had to go to work. Today however, he woke up full of energy and motivated by hunger. So he scurried across the hall in his boxers and opened Chanwoo’s door. Chanwoo was sleeping soundly, his face was adorable and serene. Donghyuk tip toed over and lifted the covers to slide into bed with his roommate. He always had cold hands, so he knew he was going to put them on Chanwoo’s belly under his shirt. 

“Ah, fucking, fuck off Donghyuk!” Chanwoo thrashed and cursed as he tried to dislodge his roommate. Donghyuk laughed hysterically and tightened his grip and kept his head tucked against Chanwoo’s chest to protect it from the flying elbows. 

“This would be way more fun if you slept in the nude.” Donghyuk sighed longingly.

Chanwoo whined at him and shoved until Donghyuk slipped to the floor and giggled viciously. 

“I hate it when you do that.” Chanwoo sighed deeply and then rolled over to look at Donghyuk on the floor. 

“Any excuse to fondle.” Donghyuk shrugged cheerfully as he beamed up at Chanwoo. Chanwoo threw his pillow at him and then got out of bed. Donghyuk held the pillow tightly as he turned his head just enough to keep Chanwoo in his field of vision. “Oh I get to watch?” 

“Donghyuk, you know, you are my favourite pervert.” Chanwoo said as he walked over to pull Donghyuk to his feet. 

“Thank you.” Donghyuk smiled warmly. 

“But no.” Chanwoo said and smiled just for a second before shoving Donghyuk out of his room. 

Donghyuk was still holding Chanwoo’s pillow as he stood in the hallway. He giggled to himself and went to his room to get dressed too. 

“I’m assuming you wanted to go somewhere?” Chanwoo asked as he opened the door to his room dressed and ready for the day. He was just shoving his wallet into his pocket. 

“Yeah let’s go out for lunch. I have a craving for cheeseburgers before I meet Esther.” Donghyuk said as he came out of his room fixing hi shirt so it hung nicer. “Do I get to keep your pillow by the way?”

“No?” Chanwoo looked at Donghyuk with narrowed eyes. 

Donghyuk laughed as he went back into his room to get Chanwoo’s pillow and then the two of them went out to find a place to eat. As they walked Chanwoo talked excitedly about a character he was just able to sell. He was starting to get a good reputation as a seriously good toon builder. 

“So what happens when this game isn’t popular anymore?” Donghyuk asked curiously. “Like when people don’t want to spend hundreds of dollars on a character?” 

“Then I play the game where people are willing to pay hundreds of dollars. It’s just like you and your routines right? When one doesn’t make you as much anymore you switch it up.” 

“Did you just say stripping is like gaming?” Donghyuk looked at Chanwoo with glee. 

“No I used stripping as an example so your little heathen mind could understand.” Chanwoo rolled his eyes and shoved Donghyuk a little. 

Donghyuk stuck his tongue out at is roommate and then his attention was taken by their closeness to the restaurant he wanted. Chanwoo’s mood perked up as they were served their drinks and ordered a few burgers and sides to share. 

“Did our grocery man come back last night?” Chanwoo asked after he was done recounting his digital adventures. 

“Hanbin? Yeh he was at the club, he got a private dance.” Donghyuk said with a little nod. 

“He didn’t invite you home?” Chanwoo asked with a surprised expression as the waitress brought their food to them. “Thank you.”

“Thanks!” Donghyuk smiled at her before eating a fry and then getting ketchup. “He didn’t need to.” 

“Didn't ‘need’ to.” Chanwoo raised an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Donghyuk looked at him and stretched his lip out with his tongue and flicked his eyebrows. Chanwoo opened his mouth with a small noise of understanding and then nodded. Donghyuk giggled a little and finally took a big bite of his burger. Letting out a satisfied moan. Chanwoo eyed him for a second before picking up his own burger and chowing down. 

“You know,” Chanwoo said after he’d eaten half his burger. He set it down and went in for more sides. “I saw this meme in my discord chat the other day. I think you’d like it.” 

“Oh a meme I’d like? Scandalous.” Donghyuk clapped happily and focused his attention on his roommate. 

“It was something like, when you’re out with a same sex friend, whoever gets the bill was subconsciously decided as the top.” Chanwoo said with a little laugh. “You wanna bet who she gives the bill to?” 

“You know it.” Donghyuk said as he wiped his fingers and then offered his hand to Chanwoo. “Two weeks of dish duty says it’s me.” 

“Two weeks of dish duty AND you’ll go into my room and get my desk dishes if says she picks me.” Chanwoo countered and took Donghyuk’s hand as if to shake it but he didn’t yet.

“You’re on.” Donghyuk smiled like he was pleased and shook Chanwoo’s hand. 

They ate in a rather serious kind of silence as they focused on the waitress as she came in to check on them. When the plates were cleared and then taken away, the silence took on a tense sort of feeling. Donghyuk was intensely watching the waitress as she brought their bill over. She looked at the bill for a second before placing it down in front of Donghyuk. Donghyuk thanked her as she walked away. 

“You guided her!” Chanwoo protested. 

“I did not!” Donghyuk protested with a frown. 

“You stared at her and drew her in! You cheated!” 

“Maybe you’re just a sore bottom.” Donghyuk smiled charmingly and reached into his pocket to get the money to pay. 

“You wish.” 

“Mmm, some days baby.” Donghyuk teased with a flick of his eyebrows and Chanwoo huffed. 

“That is not what I meant!” 

“There is no shame in being a tall bottom Chanu I know lots of boys who would happily take you home.” Donghyuk said patronizingly as he stood and picked up their bill to take it to the counter and pay. 

Chanwoo mumbled bitterly about two weeks of dishes and Donghyuk laughed a little as he fixed his hood. 

“They’re mostly your dishes anyway.” 

Chanwoo was quiet until they stepped outside.

“Wait, are you actually a top?” Chanwoo asked suddenly. 

Donghyuk paused walking to look at Chanwoo intently. Chanwoo didn’t notice until he was a few steps ahead and then turned to look at his roommate.

“Did you just ask me if I was a top?” 

“Yes?” 

“How long have we’ve been roomies?”

“Three years or so I dunno?” 

“You have never once asked specifically for details about my sexual preferences.” Donghyuk turned his head to look at Chanwoo with serious focus. “Are you asking me to top you?” 

Chanwoo actually blushed and it made Donghyuk smile with delight. “I wanted to know if she was right.” Chanwoo said as he turned and started walking again. 

“She was, these days I’m all top baby.” Donghyuk confirmed, his smile refusing to dim. 

The roommates parted at the subway station, Donghyuk headed down to meet up with his sister in her part of town and Chanwoo headed back to their apartment. He was always a cheerful guy, but even he had to admit how much happier his life had been making him this past month. He got to the cafe before his sister and got them some iced lattes and waited for her to arrive. 

“You’re here early!” Esther greeted him as she sat down. 

“Yeah Chanu and I went out for lunch. How you been sis?” Donghyuk asked cheerfully. 

“Good, schools been good. I’ve been sleeping really well lately.” 

“That’s great to hear.” Donghyuk smiled and patted her hand before reaching into his other pocket and taking out his neatly folded stack of bills for Esther. 

“This is out of cadence.” Esther put her hand over the money and looked at her brother. “What’s this?” She counted the money under her hand, Donghyuk always thought it was cute how she hid like a kid cheating on a math test. “This is too much Donghyuk,” Esther said and pushed the pile back. 

“It’s not, if you don’t want to spend it on yourself put it in your account for tuition.” Donghyuk said with a pleading kind of look. 

“Where are you even getting all of this? You’ve never made this much from dancing before.” Esther was using a softer voice now, but her expression was intensely serious. 

“It’s from dancing!” Donghyuk replied softly. 

Esther looked at him skeptically. 

“Listen, if it makes you uncomfortable I’ll just start depositing it instead of giving it to you in cash. But if I do that it’ll have to get taxed and you’ll end up needing to pay in at tax return time.” 

“Why don’t you just keep it for yourself. However you’re getting this money, obviously someone wanted you to have it.” 

“I don’t do this for the money-” 

Esther snorted. 

“I don’t do it just for the money.” Donghyuk corrected with a roll of his eyes. “I love that I can give you what you need for school so you don’t have to stress about it.” 

“I’m grateful Dongdong.” Esther said with a little sigh. “But there is a difference between taking what you need and just being greedy.” 

Donghyuk felt his chest fill with a hot sort of shame. He pushed it away. “It’s not being greedy to accept a gift.” he frowned. “I work for this money, I didn’t steal it or manipulate someone out of it.”

Esther sighed and pursed up her lips. Donghyuk exaggerated her expression to make fun of her like he did when they were kids. She swatted him in annoyance and he laughed a little. 

“Can I give some to mom?” Esther asked after a few moments. 

“Of course, but where will you say you got it from?” Donghyuk asked as he leaned forward and rested his head on his hand. “Or will you tell our sweet mother her gay son takes his clothes off for rich men who pay him in cash?” 

“You wish I would huh?” Esther scoffed. “No way, you can scandalize her yourself.” 

“I think she’d take it really well,” Donghyuk shrugged and tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Last time I was home she tried to set me up with Minyoung’s son.” 

“No way! Dohun??” Esther looked excited now with the gossip. “I had no idea he was gay!?” 

“Don’t get all excited mom thinks any boy who uses lip balm is a potential boyfriend for me.” Donghyuk laughed and shook his head. “Regardless, no country boys for me.” 

“What’s wrong with country boys?” 

“Nothing they’re just boring.” Donghyuk laughed and then looked at his sister. “Please take the money, I’ll tone it down after this, but please. It makes me feel better.” 

“Well if it helps your conscience I’ll consider it a works for church.” 

“Yes, accepting stripper money will definitely get you tight with Jesus.” 

Esther let out an annoyed sigh and looking at the ceiling and Donghyuk cracked up in a laugh. She finally tucked the cash in her hand into her purse and Donghyuk smiled at her sincerely. 

“Just buy that designer bag you wanted.” 

“I’m in high school, I can’t have a designer bag Donghyuk I’ll get robbed or harrassed.” Esther rolled her eyes. “I’ll buy it for university.”

“Attagirl.” Donghyuk smiled and patted her knee. 

 

~*~

Hanbin was back into a proper composing spree. It was enough that Chaerin even seemed to give him some slack again. He was content to work his usual insane hours until the song was just right. Even getting a rookie artist they’d just signed a few months ago in the studio with him to help out with the debut album he was building. Hanbin was always proud to sign promising young trainees with skills for composing or writing. He decided to keep the trend of working with his employees going longer, as it kept the board happy, and agreed to a social day with Bobby. It would be great to hang out with his old friend again too. He got to the studio too early and drank a coffee alone in the cafeteria before heading down to waste time with Jaewon. He texted Bobby so the rapper would know where to find him. 

“Hey how’s it going?” 

“Just need to waste some time before Bobby finishes up, we’re going to go out for a bit.” 

“Where you goin?”

“Probably just some clothing stores, there is that new shoe painter place that Bobby wants to check out and give some Insta clout to.” 

“Ah nice.” Jaewon said and then turned to look at Hanbin. “Careful you don’t spend all your money and have none for your orgasm fund.” 

Hanbin laughed and curled over a little. “I trust you with my secrets and this is what you do.” 

“Is it a secret? I’ve been telling everyone.” Jaewon teased with playfully wide eyes. “Boss man getting orgasms at $500 a pop.”

Hanbin shoved him playfully. 

“Expensive clothes, expensive car, expensive sex life, it fits your aesthetic.” Jaewon shrugged appretively. 

“My aesthetic is pathetic lonely rich man.” Hanbin slumped and laughed. “Fantastic.” 

“Ehh, pathetic? I dunno, playboys aren’t usually pathetic.” 

“No, I’m pathetic. I got an erection just from how he looked at me.” Hanbin covered his face and sighed just before he started laughing. 

Jaewon laughed a little with Hanbin, just a hint of shyness at Hanbin’s candidness. “Sounds like he’s got under your skin pretty bad huh?” 

“I dunno.” Hanbin said and thought seriously. “I like him, like visually,  like a piece of art.” 

“Art that gives you an erection.” Jaewon teased and Hanbin laughed again and flopping down to cover his head with his arms for a second. “I mean, Bin, come on. Be real with yourself.” 

Hanbin sat back up and couldn’t shake his amused smile even as he tried again to explain himself seriously. “He sparks something in my head, I like it. I know he’s in it for the money. I know he thinks it’s just about sex, but I’m not… Maybe I’m using him just as much as he’s using me.” Hanbin sighed and shrugged. “He makes me make music.” 

“Well then, make sure you credit him when the album comes out.” Jaewon couldn’t help his teasing smile. “Composed by BI, Lyrics by BI, inspired by DK’s stroke game.” 

Hanbin laughed and clapped until he cried. Jaewon laughed and looked pleased with himself, looking over as someone else came into their studio. 

“Whassup.” Bobby greeted them cheerfully and did their usual handshakes. “Sounds like a good time in here?” 

“Shit talking man. Just shit talking.” Jaewon grinned and went back to his computer just to play the track he had opened. “While you’re here, what you think of my tweaks?” 

Bobby listened to the song, recognizing Hanbin’s track underneath the new layers of vocals and sounds. He smiled. “Sick man.” 

“Yeah, I’m way better at sexy than this awkward quail.” Jaewon teased and elbowed Hanbin as they shared a laugh. 

“You just wait until the next club event I’ll show you sexy.” Hanbin replied with a little smile as he stood. 

“Oh can’t wait, you gunna twerk that tiny ass again or what?” Jaewon tried to swat him but Hanbin dodged. 

“Does he know any other dances?” Bobby asked and grinned at Hanbin as the CEO sighed. 

“You are the worst friends.” 

“Are we friends? I’m just being nice so you’ll want to give me a raise.” Jaewon beamed at him. 

“I’m your friend.” Bobby said firmly. 

“Thank you,” Hanbin said with a nod at Bobby as he turned to frown at Jaewon. 

“But also a raise would be sweet.” Bobby added with a shrug and Jaewon laughed and clapped again. 

Hanbin shook his head and then laughed as he and Bobby left Jaewon’s studio. They decided to take Bobby’s car and head to the stores that the rapper wanted to check out first. Hanbin was glad to get caught up in Bobby’s authentic excitement and passion for things. Everywhere they went Bobby found something to get happy about. Hanbin loved that about him. Hanbin really wasn’t out to buy anything, but he always kept an eye out for things he liked. Bobby was happily carrying his new custom painted shoes in their custom box (Hanbin had to roll his eyes at the gimmick of it all). They walked along until Hanbin spotted his favourite brand in a window and decided to go in. Bobby was on the phone with another artist but followed him in all the same. 

“Hey man, looking for anything today? We just got some new stock in.” The store clerk greeted Hanbin like an old friend, the producer was sure they’d met before at something. 

“Kinda just looking for now, show me that new stuff first though.” Hanbin said and the clerk clapped and went out back to bring out some stuff for Hanbin to look at. When everything was out on the counter Bobby looked over Hanbin’s shoulder and nodded appreciatively. 

“Getting any of it?” Bobby asked as he finally put his phone away. 

Hanbin was running his hand over a sweater that was close to him. Somehow he was thinking of Donghyuk leaning up against that newspaper box. The green shade of this one wouldn’t suit the stripper at all. 

“Do you have a white one?” Hanbin asked as he kept on touching the sweater in front of him. “I’ll get it in white.” 

Bobby clapped Hanbin on the shoulder cheerfully and then went to look at more shoes until they had finished the transaction. It was only after he had finished his shopping and drinks with Bobby had he realised he had no idea how to get the sweater to Donghyuk. He didn’t want to give it to him after he’d invited him over. He didn’t want Donghyuk to think it was a payment for something. He sighed and looked at the bag on his counter. Willing it to tell him what to do. He could just take it to the club in the morning and tell them it was for Donghyuk, but wait no he couldn’t. The stripper said he wasn’t allowed to take patrons home, giving him a gift would be too big a hint. He sighed and leaned on his counter, still staring at the bag. 

“Ah!” Hanbin clapped his hands in victory as an idea struck him. He could go to the subway station that he met Donghyuk before. If he was lucky he’d be walking home and he’d be able to give it to him then. He hurried to the door to get his shoes on and his keys only to hurry back to the kitchen to get the sweater. 

He was able to park right by the subway this time, the late hour ensuring a fairly empty street. Hanbin got out of his car and faced the direction of the club. He only yawned twice before he saw his stripper. 

“Hey, uhm, Donghyuk.” Hanbin called but his voice almost seemed too loud. He waved a little when Donghyuk looked over in his direction. 

“Hey Hanbin, what are you doing here?” Donghyuk looked around, he seemed a little unnerved. 

“How, how was your night?” 

“Good, it was a good night.” Donghyuk laughed a little and nodded a few times. “How are you? What brings you here?” 

“Oh I um. I wanted… to see you… here.” Hanbin went to his car and got the bag off the front seat. Hanbin handed over the bag with a little nervous smile and then put his hands in back pockets. Donghyuk knew the brand on the bag immediately and felt his insides start to buzz. 

“What is this?” 

“I wanted to thank you.” Hanbin said with a little laugh. “You asked how I was and… I’m, I dunno, I’m more productive. My brain works better after being with you.”

Donghyuk pulled the cloth out of the bag and gently shook it open to reveal what it was. It was a gorgeous hoodie, Donghyuk had lusted over the brand for years. Now he was holding a sweater from them in his hands. His brain screamed $1000!! THIS SWEATER!! ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. GIVE IT BACK. GIVE IT BACK. 

“Hanbin -” Donghyuk exhaled and looked at the sweater. God he really wanted it. 

“You just… you look so comfortable in your sweaters.” Hanbin was blushing. “I guess I wanted to hint at… liking you with your clothes on too.” 

Donghyuk laughed a little and lowered the sweater, he folded it over his arm, deciding to keep it as affection flooded him. “I like you with your clothes on too.” 

“I know… I’m breaking the rules again or something but… do you want a ride home?” Hanbin gave Donghyuk that vaguely goofy nervous smile of his and Donghyuk couldn’t help but smile back. 

“Well now that I’m a target for a mugging, a drive wouldn’t be bad.” Donghyuk laughed and held up the sweater as evidence. 

“Ah, right well.” Hanbin rubbed the back of his head. “You don’t have to tell me where you live but I can take you to wherever you feel safe walking home from.” 

“Sure, thanks.” Donghyuk didn’t know why he felt like a teenager on his first date now that Hanbin was babbling. “Come on, let’s get in your car it’s weird to keep standing.” 

Hanbin nodded and they got into his car. Donghyuk directed him to the corner store closest to his apartment. He held the sweater close to him the whole time. Somehow he felt like he’d be scolded if anyone knew where he got it from. He’d just have to say he bought it. When the corner store came into view he took his seatbelt off and looked at Hanbin. 

“You know,” Hanbin said suddenly, he was gripping the steering wheel. 

“Hmm?” Donghyuk tilted his head just a little, flirting habitually. 

“Sometimes… I… okay.” Hanbin exhaled. “If I’m pushing my luck here let me know.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuk smiled gently and nodded. 

“Sometimes it might be nice if… we didn’t have to wait to meet at the club… before you came over.” 

Donghyuk sat and digested his proposal. He looked at the sweater and then back at Hanbin. “For sex right?” 

“Y..ah.” Hanbin said with a little nervous laugh. “I’d still pay you the same and whatever. It’s just sometimes… I don’t finish work until late and I’d still like to… see you… have sex with you. You know?” 

Donghyuk smiled a little and then laughed. “I appreciate the need for a booty call every now and again.” He leaned over and dug through his work bag until he found an old thrift receipt. The only thing he found to write with was the eyeliner he kept for special stages. He wrote his number out. “Don’t tell anyone at work okay? You’ll seriously get me fired.” 

“I won’t tell a soul. I promise.” Hanbin said as he took the paper. “Thank you.” 

“Well seeing as I got you addicted to me and all, it’s the least I can do.” Donghyuk smiled and leaned over for a kiss automatically. Hanbin indulged him, feeling tingles start through his body. “Goodnight Hanbin.” 

“Night.” Hanbin smiled softly and Donghyuk got out of the car. Donghyuk watched until Hanbin had taken the corner before he started walking home. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is honestly my favourite chapter yet, leave a comment if you liked it too :)


	8. Amative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> amative (adj) disposed to love

Donghyuk went for a run the morning, he rarely did unless he needed a serious meditation. He used to run often, when he and his sister just moved here and he was desperately trying to keep her in school. He was scavenging for odd jobs like crazy, which is how he ended up at Zoria. He heard the strip club was having an amatuer night and knew that he could probably make some cash. He hadn’t danced since high school, and translating his gymnastics into pole dancing was a little bit harder than his optimism had suggested. But still, he danced, he made $100, he went home with Jinhwan. The night was a success. When he was getting steady income from the club his sister was able to move into a dorm at her boarding school. Which meant she could stop living with Donghyuk and Chanwoo - which was a terrible relief for her Donghyuk was certain. 

The three of them had come from the same tiny country town together in search of their futures in the city. Esther was flying high on her acceptance into school, Donghyuk and Chanwoo worked hard to protect that joy. It was hard to believe how far they’d come in three short years. Donghyuk’s pole skills soared and he took over as the club’s best dancer. Chanwoo once made all his money making bets in PC Cafes, now he had a customer PC in his own room with people bidding for his characters. Donghyuk was more than content with his life, and he was frustrated with how conflicted his John was making him. He pushed himself for his last kilometer, by the time he got back to the apartment, he just rolled down onto the floor in the entryway. 

“Good run?” Chanwoo asked with a little laugh, he was drying off a bowl and went back to the kitchen to put it away and get another dish. Donghyuk was still laying on the floor when Chanwoo returned, now drying a plate. “Shall I hose you down?” 

Donghyuk laughed a little and then groaned slightly as he sat up. “I had a lot to think about.” 

“I figured, I made some lunch.” Chanwoo said with a little laugh. “You have to stand to get it though, no floor service.” 

Donghyuk laid back down again and then forced himself to roll and get to his feet. His legs felt like jelly, he was nervous suddenly for dancing tonight. He sat down at the table and finally took off his shoes and massaged his thighs as Chanwoo brought over a plate. Lunch was a fried egg sandwich with spam that Chanwoo always craved. 

“Oh god I thought I was in good shape still.” Donghyuk whined as he gave his thighs one last bit of a massage before he picked up his sandwich. 

“Yeah the abs are a lie.” Chanwoo laughed and then took a large bite. 

Donghyuk laughed into his bite. He was starving and didn’t say anything else until he’d eaten the sandwich, and apple and two leftover pastries. He sat back down at the table with one last glass of water to drink before he went to get a shower. 

“So why the run?” Chanwoo asked finally. 

“I dunno, feeling weird about Hanbin.”

“Ah, the man who buys us groceries.” 

Donghyuk smiled and rubbed his neck. “Yeah him.” 

“Are you gonna make me prompt you for every part of this story or what?” Chanwoo asked in a whine and slumped forward a little. 

“He got me something last night.” Donghyuk sighed. “A really expensive sweater. Like one grand expensive.” 

“Whoa, nice.” Chanwoo laughed a little. 

“He didn’t want anything for it, he said it was a gift. A hint at liking me with my clothes on.” 

Chanwoo made a thoughtful face and nodded. “So he gives you gifts now, whatever right?” 

“I want it to be whatever but,” Donghyuk furrowed his brow and shrugged. “I dunno getting things and not giving him sex back makes me feel super uncomfortable.” 

“A normal relationship makes you feel uncomfortable?” 

“But it’s not a normal relationship, he is a patron, a client. I take his money and give him sex in return. Getting things and him not wanting sex is... “ Donghyuk exhaled. “I'm scared he’ll believe this is a real thing between us and I don’t know what I feel about that.” 

“Why not just let it be real?” 

“Because I know the tricks Chanwoo, I live them, they’re my tricks. We give them a fantasy that they have our hearts and not just our bodies. What kind of headass stripper would I have to be to forget that? It’s not real because I can’t let it be.” 

Chanwoo sighed long and slowly. “Can I be an asshole for a second?” 

“Asking permission is adorable.” Donghyuk held his chin and looked at his roommate. 

“I think you’re starting to like this guy, and you’re making excuses.” Chanwoo said sternly. 

“I think that was the nicest you’ve ever been to me and you’ve never warned me before.” Donghyuk laughed a little and shook his head. “I might as well quit if I fall in love with a patron.” 

“Well maybe you should quit and just be this guy’s sexy trophy house husband or something.” Chanwoo shrugged. 

“And then where would you live? You need me for rent.” 

“Obviously I’m coming with you he probably has a sick PC I could use.” 

Donghyuk laughed and Chanwoo stood and cleared their dishes. Donghyuk sighed again as he thought about his sweater and the producer. 

“Go get a shower before you stink up the kitchen.” Chanwoo kicked him as he left the kitchen to go back to his room and start gaming again. 

With a dramatic groan Donghyuk got to his feet and finally went to shower. By the time he was at work his legs were feeling 100% again and he was able to work the stage and the private booths with his usual vigour. Jinhwan was on fire tonight, extra flirty and playful and couldn’t keep up with the demand for his time. His outfit was a huge hit, a plunging neckline on a button up vest, nothing underneath, a frilly but fairly modest pair of underwear with a velvet pink heart over the crotch. He wore a gorgeous pair of stockings with hearts as well. His garter snaps followed the motif. At the end of the night, Donghyuk had to help him with his shoes, as the buckle had to be glued in place after a backstage moment of clumsiness. 

“I’ll have to take them and get them fixed tomorrow. There is no way I’m not using this outfit again.” Jinhwan sighed as he looked at the shoe closer to his face. 

“I’m sure it’ll be an easy fix.” Donghyuk said reassuringly. He was still half changed, only wearing some booty short style underwear. “Hey, did you want to come over tonight?” 

“Yeah,” Jinhwan said without a moment of hesitation. “I always want to spend the night with you.” 

Donghyuk giggled a little as he leaned over to get his pants to wear home. As he stood again he saw Junhoe join them. “Hey June, what brings you back here?” 

“Someone left you a tip at the bar.” Junhoe held up a two bills folded over each other. “Said they were too shy.”

“Aw baby you don’t have to -” Donghyuk took the money and put it back into Junhoe’s pocket. “You’re too honest just keep it.” 

Junhoe looked at Jinhwan who was looking back at him with a little smile. Jinhwan shrugged at him and Junhoe looked back at Donghyuk. “Thanks… I… you two… enjoy your night together.” 

“We definitely will,” Jinhwan said and quickly leaned over to slap Donghyuk’s ass. 

Junhoe smiled at them and laughed a little as their playful bickering started. Jinhwan stayed playful their whole way home, when they got to the apartment Chanwoo had a sign on his door that said ‘RAID IN PROGRESS DND.’ They sighed, deflated that they didn’t get to tease their favourite gamer. Instead they curled up in Donghyuk’s bed and watched videos on his tablet. They only watched a few before giving up on their attention spans for videos, switching to mindless talk about their lives. Donghyuk was happy to have another chance to talk about his sweater situation with Jinhwan, who soothed his worries easily. 

“Hey so, here’s something I’ve wondered about for a while.” Jinhwan was playing with the ears of a teddy bear. “How long do you think you’ll keep dancing?” 

“Until I’m too feeble to hold onto the pole.” Donghyuk laughed a little. 

“You like it that much?” Jinhwan replied, tossing the teddy bear behind him and rolling a little.

“I like the attention, I don’t know what else to do to get that attention, you know?” Donghyuk was laying with his hand behind his head, Jinhwan shimmed over and laid his head on Donghyuk’s chest. 

“I think you just need to find someone who gives you the attention you really want, so you don’t want any from anyone else.”

Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan with a raised eyebrow. “Alright Dr. Phil.”  

“It could happen.” Jinhwan laughed softly and started trailing his fingers along Donghyuk’s skin. 

“What will you do after? When you’re done stripping?” Donghyuk asked as he looked down at where Jinhwan’s hand was travelling. 

“I think I’ll just start coaching new dancers full time instead of dancing myself.” Jinhwan said, his hands still playing around on Donghyuk’s abdomen. “I think I’ll end up being one of those old house moms that protect the younglings.”

“That suits you.” Donghyuk agreed and smiled a little. Jinhwan was needy tonight, Donghyuk could tell by his clinginess and his not so innocent way of trailing his hands down Donghyuk’s pelvis and thighs. “All you have to do is ask baby.” Donghyuk said as he turned and gently pressed his crotch into Jinhwan’s hands. 

“I think I was asking.” Jinhwan said with a pleased smile as he slipped his hands into Donghyuk’s boxers. 

Donghyuk shut his eyes and licked his lips as Jinhwan’s gentle hands stroked and fondled him until he had a proper erection. Donghyuk let out a soft moan that made Jinhwan kiss him and push him onto his back. Jinhwan straddled him, teasing him with gorgeous sensual rolls of his hips. Donghyuk licked his lips again and ran his hands up Jinhwan’s legs and down into his boxers, pressing his thumbs into Jinhwan’s hips as he rutted his crotch against Jinhwan’s ass. Jinhwan bit his bottom lip and leaned over to frot against Donghyuk’s erection. 

“No wonder you were so eager to come over.” Donghyuk grinned as he bucked his hips up again. 

“What's the point of having a friend with benefits if you never use those benefits?” Jinhwan replied and leaned over to tease Donghyuk’s neck until he groaned. He shifted down until he was face level with Donghyuk’s erection, bulging obnoxiously in his boxers. Jinhwan mouthed at it as he curled his grip around the waistband. 

“Shit, I love that.” Donghyuk gasped and then smiled euphorically at how the pleasure tingled down his legs. 

“I know all your secrets don’t I?” Jinhwan replied with a teasing grin before he pulled down Donghyuk’s boxers, tossing them away before gripping Donghyuk’s erection with a finger and his thumb before taking the rest of Donghyuk’s length into his mouth. 

Donghyuk let out a sharp noise of pleasure and bucked his hips again. Jinhwan moaned softly and used his free hand to remove his own underwear. Fully naked he gave Donghyuk a few more moments with his mouth before sitting up properly. He stroked himself and bit his lip as he looked at Donghyuk and then used his free hand to finger himself. 

“Fuck baby,” Donghyuk sat up to rub Jinhwan’s thighs and watch him closer. “You could ruin someone like that you know?” 

“You’re not the only one who can get a boy addicted to them.” Jinhwan grinned dangerously and watched Donghyuk’s hands on his thighs. 

Donghyuk got on his knees, Jinhwan shifted automatically to fit underneath him. The seconds it took for Donghyuk to reach over and then put on the condom from his nightstand were filled with Jinhwan stroking himself. When Donghyuk was ready he shifted so Jinhwan was in perfect alignment again and then slowly slid himself into Jinhwan. 

“Mm, God.” Jinhwan felt himself go weightless for a moment as Donghyuk rocked himself a few times to make sure they were both in a good position. After confirming his thrusts started in earnest. “Mm fuck yes.” Jinhwan bit his lip and exhaled as he indulged in the pleasure. 

With Jinhwan, Donghyuk never felt like he had to talk. Jinhwan would let him know with facial expression alone if he was doing well or not. It was Jinhwan who would lead himself to his own climax, Donghyuk was merely the tool, the lucky selection of the week that Jinhwan deemed worthy of bringing him to climax. Donghyuk did feel sincerely lucky as he watched Jinhwan’s sweet features twist into expressions of pure sexual euphoria. Blush on his cheeks, his mouth open with moans, the little wrinkle of his nose when it was really really good. 

“More, babe,” Jinhwan pressed his lips together and let out a deep breath. 

Donghyuk’s thrusts were indulgent and overwhelming. Jinhwan was all noise and arched back as he tried to get more of Donghyuk's dick inside him. Donghyuk’s expression was surreal. Intense and arousing. Jinhwan gripped Donghyuk's arm and cried out again as an orgasm shook him. But the endorphins of the climax didn't fade. Instead they hovered under his skin like clouds. His legs were numb with pleasure. Donghyuk was still thrusting but he changed his angle and gripped Jinhwan's cock. The climax that built from the combined thrusts and stroking felt more real than any other one before. 

“Oh god. Oh god, oh god.” Jinhwan chanted and his eyes widened as the pleasure that was in him now was nearing its peak. He cried out wordlessly and his eyes snapped shut as he groaned out with his release. Donghyuk bucked a few more times and then came with a gorgeous little noise. 

Jinhwan opened his eyes and Donghyuk was hovering over him. Breathing steady and smiling slightly. 

“Holy fuck,” Jinhwan laughed softly. “You are too good Donghyuk.” 

Donghyuk laughed a little and leaned over to kiss at Jinhwan’s neck and then nibble at it with his teeth. Jinhwan made a delightful little whiny moan noise and pulled Donghyuk down and hugged him. Donghyuk giggled and reached down to take the condom off and then went to toss it out. When he crawled back into bed, Jinhwan curled up against him again. 

“What will I do when you get a boyfriend huh?” Jinhwan said with a soft sigh. 

“Get a boyfriend for yourself?” Donghyuk offered with a laugh. 

“What if he’s not as good as you?” 

“Babe don’t you ever settle for a boy who is bad at sex.” Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan seriously. “I don’t care how cute or rich he is.” 

“What if we both get rich boys who suck at sex and then we can just keep hooking up?” 

“I think that's called cheating.” Donghyuk laughed again. “Normal people like monogamy.” 

“Boring.” Jinhwan scoffed. 

“I dunno, some days it seems romantic to have someone who loves you and wants you and who promises to take care of you and be there for you.” 

“Isn’t that what we do now? Donghyuk are you my boyfriend?” Jinhwan propped himself up and looked at his friend. 

They looked at each other seriously for a few seconds before they started to giggle. Donghyuk pulled Jinhwan in for a hug. “You don’t want me forever babe I’m way too high maintenance.” 

“True, and one of us should probably have a stable income.” Jinhwan agreed and nuzzled him a little. Donghyuk made a noise of agreement and they were silent for a while. Jinhwan listened to Donghyuk’s breathing until it got deep and even. “Donghyuk?” 

“Mm?” 

“I love you.” Jinhwan said softly. 

“I love you too babe.” Donghyuk replied sleepily. 


	9. Cafune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cafune (n) running your fingers through someone's hair

Hanbin nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Chaerin waiting for him at the entrance to the company building. He thought his recent increase in songs would keep her at bay longer. He nodded at her as they went into the elevator together. He didn’t even try to hit a floor button, letting Chaerin take them upstairs to the offices. 

“I bet you’ve forgotten how nice it is up here.” Chaerin teased a little as they both watched the numbers go up with the floors. 

Hanbin remained silent as he twiddled with the hem of his sweater sleeve. He was counting, but not the floors, just one to ten and then ten to one. When they got to the top floor he exhaled, even the smell of this level felt wrong to him. 

“My office or yours?” Chaerin asked softly. 

“Mine.” Hanbin replied as he saw his nameplate at the end of the hall. He had forgotten how nice it was up here. 

His office was modern and had a minimalist luxury vibe. He’d always known he’d spend less time in it than his studio. Someone had been keeping it clean, dusting and polishing. The computer had long since been removed from his desk, he’d given it to a new hire over three years ago. Chaerin sat in one of the comfortable armchairs in front of the desk, Hanbin went around to his leather high backed boss chair. He squirmed to get comfortable. 

“How have you been Hanbin?” Chaerin asked politely. 

“Pretty good,” Hanbin shrugged and looked at his desk, he realized that even the calendar was updated. 

“You seem better lately. It’s encouraging.” Chaerin agreed. 

“What do you need?” Hanbin asked as he found a pen to play with. 

“The board needs you to come to meetings. Be involved in the company again.” Chaerin said firmly. 

“Chae.” Hanbin focused on the company name on the pen. Happy Nihilist Records. He wanted to roll his eyes, what a pretentious kid he had been. “I think I want to step down from the board.” 

Chaerin looked at him, showing no surprise. She was always the even one, calm, cool, collected, smart and sharp. There would be no company without her, Hanbin knew it. Eventually she seemed to relax into the information. 

“I assume you’ve been thinking about this for a while?” 

“Yeah, off and on.” Hanbin leaned forward and held his chin. “I hate it, Chaerin.” 

Chaerin’s expression softened and she leaned forward over the desk and put a hand over his free one. 

“I know this is hard for you,” Chaerin said softly and squeezed his hand. “It’s always been hard for you. You love music and hate business. You want everything to be free and unconstrained.” 

Hanbin felt like crying somehow, the burning of it was starting in his throat. He nodded. 

“What about a break, take a week and think it over. Don’t come into the studio, just stay away and see how you feel.” Chaerin said softly. 

“I’m finally composing again, I’m not going to take a break.” Hanbin looked at her sternly. 

“The board will need time to go over this.” 

“What do you mean “go over” it’s my choice if I want to be here or not?” Hanbin said as his brow furrowed. 

“It’s not Hanbin,” Chaerin said softly. “If you leave everything changes. There will be a redistribution of power. Everyone in the country will look at us and see if we’re weak enough to destroy.”

Hanbin looked at nothing. They were a top company, their every move was being watched. It was part of the reason he never showed his face professionally. Chaerin was the face of the company and she suffered abuse every day from media and fans alike. If he was suddenly gone she would have twice the burdens at least. 

“So how do I do this?” Hanbin asked finally. “I can’t do this anymore Chaerin. I don’t know what I was thinking in the first place. I just want to make music and this-” Hanbin pointed around the office. “This makes me hate even doing that.” 

“If we wait until the end of the fiscal year we can introduce new terms to the next one.” Chaerin said and took a long deep breath. “If you sell your shares to me I’ll be the majority. It’ll give me power over the board.” 

“Okay.” Hanbin said with a nod. 

“It is a lot of money, Hanbin.” Chaerin said with a little worried pinch of her eyebrows. “I still think you should think this over after a break.” 

“I’ll take a weekend then.” Hanbin said with a shrug.

“That’s a good start anyway.” Chaerin said as she stood. “I’ll go to my private lawyer and see what she can do in terms of advising this sale if we go for it. That way it’ll stay out of the press until we’re sure of everything.” 

Hanbin nodded and continued to look at nothing. He didn’t know why Chaerin kept saying “if” and “maybe.” He was certain this is what he wanted. Chaerin looked at her friend and partner for a little while before walking around and hugging him from behind. Hanbin smiled a little and affectionately gripped her forearms until she let go. 

“Come on change into your emergency blazer, let’s go scare the shit out of the board.” Chaerin said and patted him on the shoulders. 

Hanbin laughed properly and went over to his closet. He kept two shirts and three blazers in here. They were still wrapped in plastic, fresh from the dry cleaners. 

“Who keeps my stuff so clean anyway?” Hanbin asked as he pulled off his sweater and undershirt and ripped open the plastic on the shirt he wanted. 

“I do.”  Chaerin said as she scrolled through her phone. 

Hanbin felt guilty as he slid his arms into the white button up. “Sorry.” 

Chaerin looked up at him and raised her eyebrow. “Why? I’m not doing this for the karma.” 

Hanbin pulled on a blazer and turned to face Chaerin as he started doing up the buttons. 

“It’s not like I’m steaming your shirts personally anyway.” Chaerin smiled, lopsided and charming. “It’s not a lot of effort to get tell the cleaners to come in here too.” 

Hanbin laughed and finished with his buttons so they could go to the board meeting together. 

After the meetings took away all of his morning, Hanbin felt exhausted. He did like being able to push and pull the board’s choices surrounding the artists. As he worked with them all personally he had stronger opinions than the people who only knew them as numbers and dollars. It felt good to put his sweater back on and head into the basement studio area. This is where he felt real. His headspace was wrong for composing, so he went to the common area to drink a coffee and listen to the echoes of what everyone else was doing. He’d entered a nearly meditative state, absorbing sounds instead of having thoughts until someone was pulling at his shoulder.

“I thought you got a new sweater yesterday?” Bobby asked as he pulled at the shoulder seam of Hanbin’s usual favourite. “You’re not even wearing it?” 

“It wasn’t for me.” Hanbin said with a shrug as he leaned forward to grab a scrap of paper on the table in front of him. 

Bobby took a second to desperately try and remember if he was forgetting any birthdays. He sat down and furrowed his brow. “For who then?” 

“DK.” Hanbin shrugged again. He set on destroying a slip of paper as he tried to will himself not to feel anxious. 

“DK? Who is that? A trainee?” 

“No, you don’t know him.” 

Bobby rubbed his chin and honestly couldn’t believe what his brain suggested as an option. “Did you by a stripper a designer hoodie?” 

Hanbin felt some random muscles jump in his neck and he twitched his mouth a little before responding. “Yeah I did.” 

Bobby looked at his friend a few seconds, suddenly he felt like an idiot. How could he have ever even thought of suggesting that his lonely and unstable friend go to a strip club. Of course he’d get in too deep. He had nothing else to latch onto emotionally. He sighed and held his face. 

“I think you made a mistake going back there again.” Bobby said with a long sigh. “You shouldn’t even have gone in the first place maybe.” 

“It was your idea that even go to the club in the first place and now you’re getting all puritanical on me?” Hanbin furrowed his brow and abandoned his paper. What the hell was with everyone treating him like he couldn’t make his own choices today?

“I didn’t know you’d…” Bobby made an ugly face of frustration. 

“What?”

“What are you doing with this dude? What do you want from him?”

Hanbin only shrugged. 

“Man seriously you’re out dropping a thousand dollars on this… glorified prostitute. How much did the sex cost?”

“Stop.” Hanbin growled a little. 

“Stop what?” 

“Whatever this is.” Hanbin said with an annoyed flick of his hand between them. “It’s my money. If I wanted to eat for breakfast and shit it out that’s my right.” 

“That’s pretty much what you’re doing now.” Bobby shrugged and sat back in his chair. 

“I don’t see why you should care so much about how I spend my money.” Hanbin said with a bitter glare at his friend. 

“It’s not the money man it’s…” Bobby rubbed his face as he thought. “I care about you man, I don’t want you messing up your life for some random.” 

“Would it be better if I was messing up my life for you?” Hanbin said, locking Bobby in an intense stare. 

Bobby could only chew at his mouth with how the anger ignited within him. He looked at the ceiling and wrinkled his nose before shaking his head a little. “Alright.” He said and he stood. “Messaged received bossman.”  Bobby didn’t say anything else as he walked down the hallway. 

Hanbin stood after Bobby was gone, automatically walking towards the elevator to leave. His first impulse was to text Donghyuk. He wasn’t even sure why. Maybe his company just seemed the most desirable after all his anxiety today. When he looked at his phone he lost the impulse and pocketed his phone again. When he got into his car he put his forehead against the steering wheel and meditated briefly. After his heart reached a calm pace he sat back and put his hands on the wheel. 

“Drive.” Hanbin said in a soft command to himself. He started the car and finally pulled out of the parking lot. 

 

~*~

Donghyuk and Jinhwan arrived at the club at the same early hour. Today Jinhwan was getting tips from Donghyuk about how to smooth the transitions between his aerials. It was interesting to Junhoe to watch them and see how serious they both could be. Donghyuk would adjust Jinhwan’s posture and drag his hands over Jinhwan’s legs and torso and not a flirty grin could be seen from either of them. He wasn’t sure how they could do it, the balancing of professional and personal. How they could sell sex to strangers and have a relationship free of jealousy and possession. 

Junhoe was a protective and possessive person. He could never share someone he was in a relationship with strangers. That’s probably why he was unable to bring himself to share his feelings at all. He lived his life trying to pretend he wasn’t angry that he longed for someone who shared themselves too easily with people who didn’t deserve it. A laugh made him shake out of his thoughts and look back at the dancers. They must be done with the lessons, as Jinhwan was now just doing a series of over dramatic poses. Donghyuk’s laugh carried over from the stage. Junhoe shook his head, catching a smile from the laughter and going back to prepping for the night. 

It was later than usual by the time Hanbin parked on the corner of the club’s parking lot. It seemed busy tonight, he found himself happy for the dancers. He’d been here enough now he was starting to remember their faces and the bouncers remembered his. When he entered he recognized the song that was playing. It was one of his own, he looked up on stage and grinned when he realized it was Donghyuk dancing to it. He stood in place, completely in the way of everyone as Donghyuk finished up his routine. He’d missed nearly all of Donghyuk’s stage and cursed at himself for waiting so long to come to the club. He went up the stairs to the VIP area and found his usual drink order being brought up to his booth without him asking. He liked it as much as he was embarrassed by it. 

“Any food today Mr. Kim?” the waitress asked with a pleasant smile. She was dressed in a cute circle skirt and her cleavage was impressive in a low cut blouse. 

“Not tonight, thanks.” Hanbin said and tipped her before she left. He drank his whiskey and watched the stage. The pink haired stripper called “Nani” was about to start. After Donghyuk, Hanbin liked Nani’s stages the most. He cheered and clapped from his booth. He watched about half of it before heading down and reaching between the crowd at the stage bar to leave a bill. He was getting more and more generous with the other dancers. Somehow he felt like he needed to since he’d started to learn their names. After Nani was done the stage opened up to the rookies, four at a time as they filled time until the end of the night. He was looking over at the bar, deciding if he wanted another drink when someone tapped his shoulder. 

“I thought we didn’t have to meet like this anymore?” Donghyuk smiled dangerously at Hanbin.

“Maybe I wanted to hint at liking you with your clothes off too,” Hanbin replied and then laughed at his weak attempt to be charming. 

Donghyuk laughed and shook his head. “Well then pay me and see how much more you can enjoy me with my clothes off.” 

Hanbin bit his lip and took his money out of his pocket. He didn’t even count it before slipping the whole wad into Donghyuk’s waistband. They held each other’s gaze as he did so, intensity building between them as the club’s lights bounced off of their features. Hanbin’s lips and jawline, his neck as he swallowed. Donghyuk’s chest under the mesh shirt, his neck lines and how his tongue was dragging delightfully slow as it released his bottom lip. Donghyuk felt Hanbin’s fingers against the skin of his pelvis and tilted his head to smile dangerously. 

“See you later?” Hanbin asked, his mouth twitching up in a smile, he didn’t want a dance in the tiny booth today. He wanted the stripper’s mouth on him until morning.  

Donghyuk nodded and bit his lip as Hanbin turned and went back to his VIP booth. Feeling euphoric, Donghyuk turned and went to find someone to use his energy on. He found Jinhwan and tucked some of the bills he’d earned into the back of his underwear. 

“What is this?” Jinhwan giggled and wrapped Donghyuk up in a embrace. When Donghyuk first started Jinhwan used to flirt with him on the floor to make the customers realise how charming he could be. Donghyuk would grow confident from the attention, and eventually was able to tempt people on his own. It had been a while since they used this ploy. 

“Sharing the love,” Donghyuk replied and held Jinhwan’s face to look at him affectionately before letting him go and then scampering off. 

Jinhwan looked at the patron he had been working on with a little bemused smile before returning his attention to him. At the end of the night Jinhwan went and sat on Donghyuk’s prep space, blocking the mirror and forcing his friend to look at him. 

“I hope you know I’m not giving that cash back.” 

“Good.” Donghyuk said with a cheerful smile as he leaned forward to wrap his arms around Jinhwan’s waist and hips and surround his torso with Jinhwan’s thighs. “It’s for you.” 

“Hanbin was here wasn’t he?” Jinhwan said with a little smile, finally remembering the John’s name on his own. 

“Uhuh.” Donghyuk nodded, squishing himself in tighter against Jinhwan. “I promised Chanwoo pizza, can you go over and play with him and eat pizza?” 

“Without you?” Jinhwan smiled dangerously. “What if I corrupt your wholesome roommate?” 

“If you manage to seduce him I’ll be more proud than jealous I promise.” Donghyuk grinned up at him. 

Jinhwan leaned over and kissed Donghyuk’s forehead. 

“Last call for drinks!” Junhoe’s loud call made them both look over. 

“Margarita please!” Jinhwan called and took a bill out of the back of his thong where Donghyuk had placed it. Donghyuk refused to let go of his friend and Junhoe had to walk over. 

“Anything, Donghyuk?” Junhoe asked, an amused smile at how the two were wrapped up together. 

“Nah, I’ve got plans.” Donghyuk said and relaxed his grip on Jinhwan finally.

Junhoe tilted his head and looked at Jinhwan meaningfully. Jinhwan mouthed “Don't.” at the bouncer who turned and went to collect more orders from the other strippers. Donghyuk was changed and outside just as the bartender was bringing in the tray of drinks. 

Hanbin was waiting at the subway station as usual when Donghyuk came into view. He was wearing the hoodie Hanbin gave him and it sent a surge of pleasure through him. Donghyuk opened the door and hopped in, leaning over to give him a kiss like it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“Let’s go,” Donghyuk said with a little smile.

Hanbin smiled and nodded at him, turning on his car and driving faster than the speed limit to his penthouse. He was excited, Donghyuk was in such a pleasant mood. He chewed at his lip as they walked across the parking garage to the elevator. He was thinking about how Donghyuk had told him his name, he’d given him a secret. Hanbin could do the same. “Who did the remix to the song you danced to tonight?” Hanbin asked, hoping he looked and sounded causal as he leaned against the rail of the elevator. 

“I did? I do all of my own remixes.” Donghyuk laughed a little. “I’m not very good.” 

“Well, I like what you did to my song.” Hanbin said with a shy smile, hoping Donghyuk was quick enough to process what he’d just confessed. 

“Your song?! The song is… you’re BI!?” Donghyuk held his face. He’s been sleeping with BI, he’s sucked BI’s dick! How could you be star struck when you’ve had someone’s dick in your mouth? Donghyuk found himself laughing and blushing. “Holy shit. I don’t - I don’t know what to say? You’re an incredible artist. I’m obsessed with your songs, wow.” 

Hanbin was feeling a happy sort of rolling boil feel of amusement in his chest. Donghyuk flustered was just about the cutest thing he’d ever seen. “Yeah I’ve… made a few hits I guess.” 

Donghyuk laughed again. “Oh and the faux modesty, yes this suits you.” 

Hanbin was smiling from ear to ear, his hands deep in his pockets. The rolling amusement in his chest making him feel like laughing even though nothing was funny. “You really had no idea?” 

“None, I swear.” Donghyuk said and shook his head. “No one has any idea who you are. All your videos only have actors, you don’t even have the same… aura. BI is a cocky ass.” 

Hanbin did laugh at that. 

“And you’re…” Donghyuk smiled softly. “You’re just…” 

The rolling boil was picking up speed, like water headed for a cliff. He exhaled and tried to keep his smile. Donghyuk walked close to wrap himself around Hanbin sweetly. 

“You are just about the most endearing boy I’ve ever had the pleasure of going down on.” Donghyuk’s smile took on a dangerous edge. 

Hanbin leaned in to kiss Donghyuk, gripping him painfully with his fingers. Donghyuk made a low noise in his throat as he returned the kiss. He gently rolled his body against Hanbin, just enough for the producer to feel the pressure of Donghyuk against him. When Donghyuk bit at Hanbin’s incredible lips, he whined gently. 

“S-speakin-” Hanbin let out a soft noise as Donghyuk started on his neck with his mouth and gently bites. “Speaking of going down on-” 

Donghyuk grinned a little bit and snaked his hand down Hanbin’s front to fondle him. “Feeling inspired?” 

The elevator opened and Hanbin pushed Donghyuk off of him and then led him to his penthouse. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyy lemme know what you think about this chapter ♥ Comments are lifeblood


	10. Oneirataxia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oneirataxia (n) the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality

Hanbin loved waking up with Donghyuk in his bed. His body clung to fatigue from their late night together, and there was a dull ache in his hips from his efforts. A pleasant ache. He stretched and sat up before looking over at Donghyuk. The stripper was half exposed, which was probably Hanbin’s fault (he liked to steal blankets). He studied the man’s form. His thighs were twice the size of his own, and they had little bruises all over them from his time on the pole. Hanbin ran his fingers over them gently, after reaching Donghyuk’s sensitive inner thighs, the dancer made a little noise and then laughed. 

“What are you up to, naughty boy?”

Hanbin smiled shyly as Donghyuk rolled over and put his hands behind his head. There was something incredibly intoxicating about Donghyuk like this. Casual and radiating masculine energy, his muscles offered fantastic lines for Hanbin’s eyes to travel down. Donghyuk always stayed silent when Hanbin got that vaguely hypnotised expression, unwilling to interrupt whatever idea or fantasy he was working on. 

“I’m going away for a few days,” Hanbin said softly. “I want you to come with me.” 

Donghyuk blinked a few times and sat up properly. The now familiar conflict of desire versus logic pounding it out in his chest. “What kind of trip is it?” 

“Just… a break from the city.” Hanbin said and chewed his lip. “Some time just to relax, three days tops.” 

“I’ll have to think about it, Hanbin,” Donghyuk replied after a moment. Three days away from work was more than he’d taken in years. He could use the break too, but he also worried about losing the money. He worried about the seriousness of actually leaving with a John for three days. Wouldn’t that just seal the relationship as personal and not professional? 

“Call it an extended booty call then,” Hanbin said with a nervous smile. “Please.” 

Donghyuk’s instinct was to call Jinhwan and get his opinion, but he could already hear ‘you deserve it’ in Jinhwan’s voice in the back of his mind. A few days in a luxury booty call? Maybe he didn’t deserve it, but it did sound like a helluva good time. 

“I don’t want more than one of our usual nights in pay,” Donghyuk said after he’d thought it all through. “Getting too much makes me feel uncomfortable.” 

“Okay,” Hanbin’s chest filled with that now familiar hot air balloon feeling. “Anything else?” 

“I guess I just need to know when we’re leaving?” Donghyuk laughed a little, feeling a little shy now that Hanbin’s face had lit up with joy. 

Hanbin smiled, relieved and bubbling with excitement. He leaned down to kiss Donghyuk aggressively on the mouth. Donghyuk pulled him in and rolled them over to work him over properly. 

Three hours later, Donghyuk was back home packing and Hanbin was downstairs in front of Yunhyeong’s apartment door. He chewed his mouth a little before pressing the call button and hoping that Yunhyeong was home. When the model opened his door, Hanbin smiled automatically. His neighbour was wearing an apron. 

“Hey Hanbin, come in.” Yunhyeong returned the smile and opened his door properly so Hanbin could walk in. 

“I, um I, just wanted to tell you I was going to be away for a few days,” Hanbin said as he walked down the short hallway to Yunhyeong’s dining room and kitchen. 

“Oh really? For business or pleasure?” 

“Pleasure…” Hanbin said with a little smile. “But it’s work’s suggestion.” 

“See, I told you, you work too much.” Yunhyeong went back to his meal prep. “Where are you going?” 

“Just down to the coast. Stay in a suite for a few days. Get a massage or two.” Hanbin said as he sat down at the counter. 

“Sounds nice.” Yunhyeong smiled at him and then carefully added the onion he chopped to the frying pan. “When do you leave?” 

“Tomorrow I think,” Hanbin said and played with his ear. “I just didn’t want you to worry about where I was.” 

Yunhyeong laughed like he always did when he felt embarrassed. “Thanks. I guess the last thing you need is me calling you at 10 am when you’re at the spa.” 

Hanbin laughed and then stood. 

“You don’t want to stay for lunch?” Yunhyeong asked, sincerely surprised. 

“I didn’t want to interrupt your plans.” 

“My plans aren’t so serious,” Yunhyeong laughed again. “If you want to stay… it’s just going to be some simple pasta.” 

Hanbin sat back down and Yunhyeong cursed the happy flutter in his chest. 

~*~

Donghyuk called Jinhwan over before he was even properly home. When his friend got there, Donghyuk had his suitcase out and was immediately struggling to think of what to pack. Jinhwan brought coffee for all of them, and after delivering Chanwoo’s he opened Donghyuk’s door. From the doorway, he sipped his coffee and raised his eyebrow at his friend who was sitting in a pile of his own underwear. 

“Damn ma, it’s that serious?” 

Donghyuk looked up at him with a distressed pout and then extended his hand for the coffee. “Coffeeeeeeee.” 

Jinhwan handed the coffee he was just sipping at to Donghyuk (He’d gotten three new flavours and had to decide which one he liked more. He’d sampled the one he gave Chanwoo too.) Jinhwan sat on the bed beside the suitcase. 

“Overthink much?” Jinhwan laughed as Donghyuk drank his coffee and sorted his piles. 

“Do you know the last time I had to think critically about the clothing I own?” Donghyuk replied and then stood. He went to his dresser and opened the second drawer. “Tell me why I have two. TWO! Drawers for underwear?” 

“Some of these are work uniforms.” Jinhwan laughed and shrugged. “Some people have ties, we have thongs.” 

Donghyuk sighed and then dumped the second drawer. It had socks and delicate clothes like some made of mesh and lace. “I started packing but now I just want to redo my life.” 

“How many days was it again?” 

“Three I think? Three and two nights?” Donghyuk set his coffee down on the top of the dresser to pick out the clothes he knew immediately he was keeping. 

“Not a bad payday.” 

“I’m only taking one night’s worth.” Donghyuk shook his head. “I don’t need to bleed this guy dry because he’s lonely.” 

“Um, yes you do?” Jinhwan raised his eyebrow again. “That’s literally our jobs? Lonely boys give us money so they’re not lonely for a few minutes.” 

Donghyuk stopped and looked at Jinhwan. “I don’t know what to do with the money Jinhwan. Es doesn’t want the extra, even buying my usual extras doesn’t make a dent.” 

“Give it to me then!” Jinhwan laughed and threw the closest bit of clothing at Donghyuk. “I know how to spend money!” 

Donghyuk laughed and picked up the clothing article, a sleep shirt, and tossed it back at Jinhwan. “Fine, then I’ll buy you whatever you want.” 

“I want a solid gold codpiece,” Jinhwan said with a playful grin. “24k.” 

Donghyuk laughed so hard he curled over a bit. Jinhwan smiled, pleased with himself as Donghyuk tried to pull himself back together. “You know what, I think I’d like to see that.” 

“Damn right you would.” Jinhwan laughed and got off the bed to help Donghyuk with his packing (and sudden need for a wardrobe cleanse.) 

It was five hours (with an extended food break in the middle that involved a fresh off a first-place victory hyped Chanwoo). Donghyuk was packed for his three days, Jinhwan had a few new outfits (“Okay you do have a problem Donghyuk what the hell all of these still have the tags on!”) and they carried the other two bags to a donation bin at the end of the street. 

“What are you going to do for three days without me?” Donghyuk laughed as they walked back to the apartment together hand in hand, swinging their arms like they were kids. 

“Cry.” Jinhwan laughed in reply. “I don’t think I’ve ever gone so long without you since that first night huh?” 

“True.” Donghyuk nodded and looked over at his friend. “You’re over so much you might as well move in.” 

“Is that an option? Cause I will.” Jinhwan said with sincere excitement. “My landlady is a creep, I caught her digging through my trash the other day.”

“Yikes? Jinhwan why didn’t you say anything?” 

“It’s not that big of a deal.” Jinhwan shrugged. 

“What if she’s going into your apartment without you there?” Donghyuk shook his head. “Nah, fuck it. You can live with us. Break your lease.” 

“Listen if you’re being serious I’ll literally move in while you’re away.” Jinhwan stopped walking to look at Donghyuk seriously. 

“Yes, I’m serious.” Donghyuk took Jinhwan’s other hand. “You think I’d let you stay in a place with that creepy woman literally stealing your garbage so she can have a piece of you? Never.” 

Jinhwan moved closer to hug Donghyuk tightly. 

“Chanwoo won’t care, you know he won’t. Unless you leave sex toys in the bathroom. God, I still have trauma from that.” Donghyuk laughed a little as he hugged Jinhwan back. 

Jinhwan laughed and let Donghyuk go so they could walk again. “Well let’s go tell your roommate he’s stuck with us forever.” 

“Race you,” Donghyuk said and paused for just a second before taking off. “First one there gets to tell him!” 

“Donghyuk you cockslut do I look like someone who runs?” Jinhwan yelled after him and tried his best at a jog to chase after Donghyuk, already too far ahead of him to ever catch. 

With Chanwoo set to help Jinhwan start the move the next day, Donghyuk put his suitcase by the door and tossed the jacket he wanted to wear on top of it. Hanbin had texted him around 2 am with their travel times. A taxi would meet Donghyuk at the corner store in the morning and take him to the train station. He’d meet Hanbin there and they’d take the train down to the coast. It was still out of season for a beach trip, but it just meant they’d have fewer crowds to deal with. Jinhwan spent the night, ready to head to his apartment and fill the boxes Chanwoo was able to get from the corner store with his possessions. Apparently, his parents were going to help too when they were free in the evening. 

“God that dick better be worth it,” Jinhwan whined as Donghyuk’s alarm went off at 7:30 am. 

Donghyuk laughed and got out of bed. Jinhwan rolled up closer to the wall and whined from the loss of body heat. Donghyuk tossed the shirt he was wearing back into the bed. 

“The thought of your codpiece motivates me.” Donghyuk laughed as he pulled on a sweater and jeans. 

“Good.” Jinhwan rolled to face Donghyuk with a sleepy smile. “Think of my dick when you’re sucking his.” 

Donghyuk leaned over and slapped Jinhwan’s ass playfully. “When I come back we’ll be roomies!” 

“When we’re roomies I’m banning 7 am wake ups.” Jinhwan yawned and rolled over again to go back to sleep. 

Donghyuk laughed a little and let Jinhwan go back to sleep. He finished his morning routine, made a coffee and ate a snack before heading out into the morning. It was chillier than he expected and he was glad to have worn the jacket and a facemask. Right on time, the taxi showed up, it wasn’t the usual one from this part of town. The driver was well dressed and super pleasant as he put Donghyuk’s luggage in the trunk for him. He even stopped and got Donghyuk a coffee (Donghyuk insisted that he get one for himself too). At the train station, Donghyuk thanked him and dug out a bill to tip him. 

“Donghyuk!” 

Donghyuk was relieved to hear Hanbin’s voice before he had to try and navigate the station on his own. He waited in place for Hanbin to walk over to him. He had a bag slung over his shoulder and another suitcase dragging behind on its wheels. Suddenly Donghyuk was no longer worried about over packing. 

“Sorry about the early morning,” Hanbin said as soon as they were standing together. 

“I think my roommates had a harder time than me.” Donghyuk laughed a little. “No worries, I’m excited.” 

“Me too.” Hanbin smiled softly and they turned to go into the station finally. 

The train ride itself was relaxing to Donghyuk. Hanbin fell asleep pretty fast, leaving Donghyuk to read the magazines the train provided, eat snacks and then watch a movie. Hanbin woke up when they were just five minutes from the coast city. 

“Good timing.” Donghyuk laughed a little and put his facemask back on as Hanbin rubbed his eyes and then stretched. 

“I’ve done this trip a few too many times.” Hanbin laughed and stretched one more time. 

Donghyuk looked out the window, he’d never made it further than the city he landed it fresh out of the country. Hanbin lead the way off the train and to a waiting taxi, it was another one of the luxury ones. Hanbin got in like it was the most familiar thing in the world. 

“I used to have business meetings down here,” Hanbin said and leaned across Donghyuk to point out the window. “Just over there, that gold and grey building.” 

Donghyuk looked at nodded. “It’s a pretty building.” 

“They all think they’re better than the rest of the world in there.” Hanbin scoffed and sat back. “I hated it.” 

“So do they come up to our city now?” 

“No, Chae still does the trip,” Hanbin said softly. “I just… couldn’t bring myself to do it anymore.” 

“No one should have to do stuff they hate doing.” Donghyuk took Hanbin’s hand affectionately. “It shortens your life.” 

Hanbin smiled and nodded, letting Donghyuk’s hand comfort him until they were at the hotel he’d booked for them to stay at. At the hotel, they were helped out of the taxi by a cheerful bellboy and they had to wave off the baggage cart. Donghyuk felt relieved somehow that Hanbin didn’t nosedive them into indulgent rich habits. In the lobby, they were surprised by how many guests were waiting around. 

“I thought it was off season?” Hanbin said to no one in particular. 

“Must be some kind of event,” Donghyuk replied with a shrug. 

Hanbin hated crowds of people he didn’t know. With a long soothing breath, he calmed himself and looked at Donghyuk. “Well, it might be a bit of wait, why don’t you go sit and I’ll check in.” 

“Sure. I’ll take your bags.” Donghyuk said cheerfully and took Hanbin’s bags without waiting for a verbal reply. 

Hanbin nodded and turned, he made his way through the people and hoped it wouldn’t be too long before someone was free to wait on him. He was half composing a song as he let his mind empty. It helped him pass the time, and he was glad he brought a mini studio with him. Hopefully later he’d have the time to write some of this song down. 

“Next please!” 

Hanbin shook his head and then walked over to the clerk. “Kim Hanbin, I made a reservation.” 

“Ah yes, Mr Kim. You booked the Olympian suite?” 

“Yes.” Hanbin said with a little nod as he handed over his credit card. 

“Perfect, I’ll just take your card…” the clerk took Hanbin’s credit card and continued to focus more on his screen than Hanbin. Once the transaction was complete he handed it back with a smile before preparing the keycards. “Thank you very much, we hope you enjoy. If there is anything else we can do to make your stay more romantic, don’t hesitate to call us.”

“T-thanks?” Hanbin said in confusion and took the key cards and turned, beyond ready to get up to the room. Romantic? Did they see him come in with Donghyuk and just assume they were a couple? Donghyuk was waiting in one of the comfortable leather chairs, something about the casual way he was sitting and his thick thighs sent a chill of delight up Hanbin’s spine. Donghyuk looked up from his phone when Hanbin was close enough to talk to. “All set.” Hanbin said and held up the key cards.

“Yay!” Donghyuk’s eyes curved up in a smile, even though the stripper’s mouth was covered with his mask, there was no mistaking it. He stood and got his bag. 

The room itself felt more gaudy than luxurious to Hanbin but Donghyuk took off his jacket and shoes in an excited rush. All the gold and white was harsh and seemed unauthentic. Donghyuk took off the rest of his layers until he was only in his shirt and pants and was walking around the room, touching details gently. He smiled at the jacuzzi, obviously enthused by its presence in the bedroom. There was a silver tray with champagne and chocolates, in the bathroom there was a smaller basket, and placed another one beside the jacuzzi. All of them filled with romantic scented massage oils and lotions. There were candles to light too, and Donghyuk felt himself grow giddy over how pretty and romantic the room felt. 

“Wow. They really know how to set the mood.” Donghyuk laughed and went to check out the bed. 

Hanbin looked at the dresser where the paperwork for the room was, he saw “Congratulations!” on the top of the welcome package. He felt a little rush of cold realization. This was a honeymoon suite. No wonder they said romantic! 

“Oh, Oh Hanbin come here.” Donghyuk waved Hanbin closer and patted the bed beside him until Hanbin laid down. 

“Oh,” Hanbin said and blushed as he saw his reflection blinking back at him. 

“Well, you did say you appreciate a good view.” Donghyuk grinned playfully. 

Hanbin looked over at Donghyuk and smiled a little before letting out a little laugh. He blushed and sat up, feeling overwhelmed suddenly with his choice. 

“Did you want a glass of champagne?” 

Donghyuk smiled slowly. “Only if you bring it to me naked.” 

Hanbin went over to the champagne set up and opened the bottle with a little difficulty. Donghyuk felt little tingles of excitement start to collect in his blood as he watched Hanbin pour. If he was pouring, then he accepted the terms? After the two flutes were filled, Hanbin took a step back and pulled off his shirt and sweater at the same time. 

Donghyuk shifted, taking off his shirt as fast as he could so he didn’t miss too much of Hanbin unbuckling his belt. The producer looked at Donghyuk as he unbuttoned his pants next and then dropped both bottom layers and stepped out of his socks. Donghyuk’s body was rippling with an excited kind of arousal. Hanbin picked up the champagne and walked over to the bed with it. Donghyuk sat up against the pillows and guided Hanbin in with hand on each hip to sit in his lap. Hanbin chewed at his lip a little as Donghyuk took a glass of champagne from him and sipped it. The dancer’s torso was hot against him, and his abs were a delight to gently rub up against. 

“I could get used to this you know,” Donghyuk laughed a little as he looked Hanbin over and ran his free hand along his thighs and hip, circling around to squeeze his ass. “A gorgeous boy, a gorgeous room, free champagne.” 

Hanbin was only half listening, the growing arousal in him was taking over. So while he listened to Donghyuk’s voice, he was also watching his lips and neck. Donghyuk drank the rest of his glass, and when he was done Hanbin leaned over and placed his still full one beside the empty on on the closest ledge. He dragged his teeth along the part of Donghyuk’s neck that had been the most enchanting. 

Donghyuk made a delightful noise and continued to lovingly abuse Hanbin’s naked form with his hands. He could feel his erection now tight against his jeans. Hanbin’s mouth left a clear mark on his collarbone before trailing down to his abs before dragging his tongue along the veins at his v-line and unbuttoning his pants. 

“You look good down there,” Donghyuk teased affectionately, arousal at a nearly painful level as Hanbin looked up at him. His lips were puffy from the attention he’d given Donghyuk’s torso, his ass pushed up in the air as he started pulling down Donghyuk’s pants. “What a cute mouth.” 

Hanbin smiled a little, lowering his gaze to savour Donghyuk’s form as he exposed it. His mouth went back into action, caressing and teasing the sensitive skin around Donghyuk’s cock until he got a little gasping moan from the stripper that made him blossom with arousal. He was done teasing, wrapping his hand around Donghyuk’s erection and taking him into his mouth. 

“Fuck~” Donghyuk relaxed his head finally, flopping back into the pillows as Hanbin’s mouth sent him into a tornado of sexual pleasure. His hips bucked up gently and Hanbin eagerly doubled down on his efforts to meet his eagerness. “Oh fuck Hanbin-” 

In the mirror above them, Donghyuk watched Hanbin’s back muscles work with the efforts of the blow job. Donghyuk’s own abs were flexed now, and every sensual vein along his hips was popped with extra blood flow. He reached down and ran his hands through Hanbin’s hair, shutting his eyes as another wave of pleasure peaked within him. 

Donghyuk grabbed Hanbin’s hair again and shuffled until Hanbin lifted his mouth off, but not before giving his head another delicious tease. Donghyuk sat up and kicked off his pants fully, pushing Hanbin onto his back. “Don’t forget to enjoy the view.” he whispered lowly before he lined himself up to thrust into the producer. 

Hanbin barely even recognized his face, flushed with arousal, his lips deep pink. Even his legs didn’t seem like his pressed up against Donghyuk’s hips. He wrapped his arms around Donghyuk and gasped before cursing. He had to shut his eyes for a moment just to savour how good it all felt. Donghyuk inside him, his erection between them. He opened his eyes again and moaned softly as he realized how stunning Donghyuk’s thighs looked. 

“Harder, please, more.” Hanbin asked softly and Donghyuk indulged him immediately, he sat back just so he had a better angle to get deeper thrusts. Hanbin started stroking himself, somehow bewitched by how it looked up in the mirror. Donghyuk thrusting into him, his own hand bringing him to climax. 

“Good boy,” Donghyuk cooed softly. 

Hanbin rolled his lips in and let out a cry. He tweaked himself until he had to moan again before reaching up to pull Donghyuk close again. It only took a few more thrusts for Hanbin to cum, he let out a rumbly sort of moan that made Donghyuk’s hair stand on end. He had to sit back again, wanting the deep thrusts that brought him rapidly to climax. 

“Shit,” Hanbin covered his face with his hands as he tried to process how surreal the level of pleasure was. 

Donghyuk hummed, his face relaxed with bliss as he climaxed, panting and gently thrusting until he had no pleasure left to glean. He exhaled and then collapsed beside Hanbin, the producer rolled over to hold him as usual. 

“I meant to take you to lunch,” Hanbin said softly. 

“You still can.” Donghyuk laughed a little. 

“I meant before I realized I never want to leave this hotel room.” Hanbin smiled with his eyes shut and laughed. “Three days in bed with you would be worth it.” 

“What inspired this trip anyway?” Donghyuk asked with a little laugh. “Or was it actually a three day booty call you were craving?” 

“Work said I needed a break. So I’m taking one.” Hanbin shrugged. 

“Ah, I see,” Donghyuk nodded, “Do you think you needed one?” 

“I guess.” Hanbin said with a sigh. “Sometimes, lately, I guess I feel like my life should have been something else, you know?” Hanbin turned and looked at Donghyuk’s face for a few moments. Studying its beauty and the details of his features. “Do you have regrets?”  

“I mean, I’m a stripper, of course some days I have regrets. But everyone does, no matter how clean cut the job or whatever.” Donghyuk looked over at Hanbin and then turned to face him. “It’s just part of life right?” 

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Hanbin said with a little tilt of his head. 

“Do you have things you wish you had been able to do?” Donghyuk asked as he shifted a little closer, suddenly compelled to touch Hanbin’s jawline. 

“I...always do but” Hanbin smiled and pressed into Donghyuk’s touch. “Right now… I think I like how life has worked out for me.” 

Donghyuk smiled sweetly and squirmed closer still. Hanbin kissed Donghyuk’s hand before leaning in and kissing him on the mouth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! :O I hope you like it!


	11. Clinomania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clinomaia (n) an excessive urge to stay in bed

After a supper, via room service, Donghyuk decided he wanted a soak in the jacuzzi. Humming excitedly and eating one of the last strawberries that came with their dessert he waited at the edge of the tub for it to fill. 

“Are you joining me?” Donghyuk asked as he sat on the edge of the tub and looked over at Hanbin as he walked passed him. Hanbin was half dressed, wearing a pair of black lounge pants and nothing else. 

“I’m going to work on a song,” Hanbin replied with a little smile. “You relax and enjoy the jets.” 

Donghyuk lowered himself into the tub and relaxed into a spot where the jets made him let out a euphoric sigh. Hanbin smiled at him and opened his shoulder bag and set his mini studio up on one of the bedside tables. He moved the table to where he could see Donghyuk perfectly, the stripper was soaking in the jacuzzi, a picture of bliss. He couldn’t ask for a better set up. He put on his headphones and opened a new file. He always named the files over where he was when he was inspired to write it, so this one made him smile as he typed out ‘hotel bed.’

He got the beat line down and added the basic instrumental he wanted on top of it. He listened once more before opening up a layer for the raw lyrics he’d thought of. When he got home he’d work on typing them out and making them actually sound good. 

“Hey, hot stuff,” 

Hanbin didn’t even bother to stop the recording as he looked over at Donghyuk. The stripper was leaning over the side of the jacuzzi. 

“C’mere,” Donghyuk bit his lip as he grinned. 

Hanbin took the headphones off his neck and smiled a little as he walked over. Donghyuk smiled up at him and lifted himself so he could kiss Hanbin on the mouth. At the addition of tongue, Hanbin fumbled just for a second to find the edge of the jacuzzi with his hand and then slipped himself into the water. Donghyuk giggled, but it turned into a happy moan as Hanbin’s hand found his inner thighs and dragged up to fondle him. 

Donghyuk let out a deep little noise of bliss and pulled Hanbin in against him properly, pressing the producer’s hips down and kissing his neck. Hanbin growled out a little, smoothly rolling his body against Donghyuk’s pelvis. 

“What is it about this hotel room that makes you so…” Donghyuk looked over Hanbin in a slow indulgent gaze. “Impossible to ignore?” 

“If you figure it out.” Hanbin smiled and licked his lip, rutting his erection up against Donghyuk’s underwater. “Let me know so I can install it in my place.” 

Donghyuk laughed low in his throat and slipped his hands into Hanbin’s pyjamas to tease his ass. Hanbin stood so Donghyuk could pull his pants down properly. With Hanbin’s erection at eye level, Donghyuk couldn’t resist taking it into his mouth. 

“Oh, shit.” Hanbin felt his knees weaken just for a moment at the sudden pleasure. “Shit-” 

Donghyuk tightened his grip on Hanbin’s ass and doubled his efforts. He furrowed his brow and whined a little as Hanbin gripped his hair. Hanbin let out a moan and his knees went weak again, this time Donghyuk pulled him down to sit in his lap. Hanbin wasted no time reaching behind himself and guiding himself onto Donghyuk eager dick. Hanbin didn’t have to do anything but wrap his arms around Donghyuk’s shoulders. It was the stripper who did all the work. Hanbin was lightheaded with pleasure. 

“Shit,” Hanbin gasped softly as he dragged his mouth along Donghyuk’s neck. “Shit... you’re… so, unh, good.” 

Donghyuk couldn’t bring himself to respond, all his energy and focus was focused on his thrusts into Hanbin. His face had contorted into an intense primal expression. Jaw tight and teeth exposed just the barest amount as he felt the burn in his thighs as a reward. Hanbin cried out, having to switch his grip from Donghyuk’s shoulders to the sides of the jacuzzi. He hummed out a low moan as Donghyuk’s cock hit that magical part inside him. 

“Fuck,” Hanbin rolled his head forward and he curled over to rest his forehead on Donghyuk’s shoulder. Donghyuk switched his angle slightly. Moving a hand to grip the side of the tub so he didn’t float away too badly. 

“Show me how much you like it,” Donghyuk said with a delicious smile. 

Hanbin leaned back again so Donghyuk could see his face. His mouth had gone slack with pleasure. His whole body felt heavy with it like he was drunk. He reached down to stroke himself, edging himself closer to climax with every lazy stroke. Donghyuk forced him down harder on his dick and knocked another cry from the producer’s pouty mouth. Donghyuk felt his release coming as he studied Hanbin’s face. He reached up with one hand and pulled Hanbin down for a kiss as he bucked with all his might. 

“God, come on,” Donghyuk whispered into Hanbin’s neck as he gave himself the last few thrusts he needed. 

Hanbin bit his bottom lip and tried to bring himself to climax, Donghyuk pushed his hand away and stroked Hanbin himself. Hanbin’s mouth dropped open as he let out a small cry before whining a little as he came. He rolled forward again, hiding his face in Donghyuk’s neck as he gently coaxed every gorgeous second of the pleasure his climax gave him. Donghyuk shut his eyes and relaxed back into the jets again. He felt vaguely delirious, giggling softly as every aspect of this moment gave him pure joy. 

“You sure know how to enjoy a jacuzzi,” Hanbin said softly.

Donghyuk’s giggle turned into a proper laugh as he opened his eyes and looked over to see Hanbin smiling euphorically with his eyes closed. 

~*~

When Donghyuk woke up, Hanbin was sitting up in bed, barely covered by the sheets and still naked from the night before as he quietly worked on his laptop. Donghyuk rolled over and curled himself around him. He kissed Hanbin’s arm as he sat up enough to rest his chin on Hanbin’s shoulder. 

“Hey,” Donghyuk said as he looked at the screen. It was way more intense than the free program he used to splice in dance beats to his favourite songs. Which made sense, seeing as Hanbin was an incredible award-winning producer and Donghyuk took his clothes off for a living. 

“I’m almost done,” Hanbin said with a little smile. He unplugged his headphones and let Donghyuk listen. “The first draft.” 

Donghyuk listened, his toes wiggling with interest at the song. He liked it, it had a smooth and catchy melody that made him bob his head. At the sound of water splashing, he let out a breathy laugh. “What is that?” 

“Our audio track from yesterday.” Hanbin smiled shyly. “Should I leave it in? Give you a featuring credit?” 

Donghyuk perked up at the sound of his own moan. “Oh my god.” 

Hanbin laughed and shut the laptop. Turning to kiss Donghyuk and then get out of bed to stretch. “Did you want room service again?” 

“Let’s go out,” Donghyuk said as he hopped out of bed and slapped Hanbin’s ass on his way to the bathroom. 

Hanbin remembered a mall that was only a ten-minute walk from the hotel. Donghyuk hooked his arm around Hanbin’s as they walked. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. Donghyuk got them coffee and some pastries for breakfast. They passed a little thrift store before they made it to the mall. 

“Oh, can we go in?” Donghyuk asked with enthusiasm as he peeked inside via window. 

“Sure,” Hanbin said with a little agreeable shrug.

Donghyuk greeted the employee at the cash register cheerfully and went back to start sifting through the racks. Hanbin couldn’t remember the last time he went thrift shopping, but he liked the feel of it. He sipped more of his coffee, it was already nearly gone, and watched Donghyuk zoom through the articles hanging. 

“I just realized I’m dragging you around cheap coffee and used clothing stores like you’re not super rich.” Donghyuk laughed as he held up a shirt he was interested in and then looked at Hanbin. 

“It’s nice,” Hanbin replied softly with a little smile, eyed a suede jacket that was sticking out of the row slightly and picked it up. “I wish I let myself do this kind of thing more.” 

“Thrift shop?” Donghyuk laughed a little and decided he did want the shirt after all. He looked at Hanbin investigate the jacket seriously, but the producer put it back. 

“I think I’ve just lost touch with… reality.” Hanbin said with a shrug. “I mean, I used to take the subway to work. I stopped and listened to everything. I was… involved with the world. I think when I moved into the new place… I lost that completely.”  

Donghyuk tilted his head and looked at Hanbin thoughtfully, a warm sort of thoughtful. “I’ve always imagined that too much wealth would just make everything feel pointless.” 

“Is that why you didn’t want more money for this weekend?” Hanbin asked and looked at Donghyuk. 

“Yeah… I guess that’s it.” Donghyuk laughed sheepishly. “I didn’t think deeply about it, I just knew I didn’t want this to be about a payday… I wanted to enjoy it as an experience.” 

Hanbin smiled affectionately. “It’s nice you can see life like that.” 

“You should try it.” Donghyuk teased and went back to hunting for good finds. 

After half an hour and a quick trying-on session, Donghyuk was up a pair of pants. He had a longing for three shirts but managed to make himself resist them. Hanbin couldn’t help but smile as Donghyuk went through his thought process verbally in an attempt to explain why it was so hard for him to put the shirts back. 

When they got to the mall the first thing they did was get something else to eat. Afterwards, it was time for Hanbin to take his time shopping in clothing stores. He thought carefully and left with nothing from the first few stores. Donghyuk usually went off on his own in the stores, looking but not getting committed as everything was just a touch outside of his comfort zone in terms of cost. 

“I um,” Hanbin walked up behind Donghyuk who had spent the last five minutes holding his phone up to the phone cases to see if any of them was his type. He’d gone back to the one he was currently in front of seven times. “I can get you one… if that’s okay… if you wanted it?” 

Donghyuk felt a weird anxious flutter in his heart. He looked at Hanbin and then back at the phone case as he bit his lip. 

“This one right?” Hanbin picked up the case Donghyuk was stuck on. It was a wallet style case with the logo of his favourite brand stylishly wrapped around it. 

Donghyuk blinked, too stunned to even protest as Hanbin went over to pay for the phone case. One too easy swipe of his credit card later, he was walking back over with bag in hand. 

“I probably should have made sure it was the right one for your phone…” Hanbin said softly. 

“It...is,” Donghyuk said as the anxious flutter in his head spread through his body. “Hanbin... what the fuck was that?” 

“You wanted something, I wanted to buy it. So I did.” Hanbin frowned a little. “Why can’t you just let me spoil you? You deserve everything I can buy and more.” 

Donghyuk blinked again, feeling like he’d just been dropped off a ten-story building. He took the bag from Hanbin. “Just…” he sighed. “I’m… just a stripper Hanbin.” 

“Not to me.” Hanbin’s eyebrows drooped. 

“Yeah… you’re right.” Donghyuk laughed as a thought came to him. “I’m also a  _ really _ good lay, huh?” 

“The best.” Hanbin grinned and with a laugh, they turned to go into the next store. 

Donghyuk chose the next store, a bookstore with a cute display out front. Hanbin followed him in, eyeing the poetry section first as Donghyuk went deeper into the store. After about fifteen minutes nose deep into poems, Hanbin decided to buy three of the five he had looked at and lifted his head to look around and find Donghyuk. The stripper was just in the next aisle over, and Hanbin was amused to find him digging through game art books. 

“My roommate plays one of these games,” Donghyuk said after looking over quickly to make sure it was Hanbin standing too close to him. “I think it’s this one? But I honestly cannot recall which one is the right one?” 

“Bobby plays this one,” Hanbin said, nodding at the book Donghyuk was holding. “It’s the trend right now.” 

“Then it’s probably this one.” Donghyuk nodded and closed the book. “But I might ask one of the employees if they know.” 

“Sure,” Hanbin said and took the book from Donghyuk’s hands. 

“I’m buying this, it’s for my roommate,” Donghyuk said sternly. 

“Fine, but I’m carrying it,” Hanbin replied with a little shrug. 

Donghyuk eyed him suspiciously but turned and went back to looking around the store. Hanbin didn’t know any of the songs, but it seemed like Donghyuk did. At least, he knew the next one that played anyway. 

“ _ Play that song, the one that makes me go all night long, _ ” Donghyuk started into a sweet and silly dance as he sang along.

Hanbin felt himself blush a little bit because Donghyuk was doing it all so passionately and his expression was a little too much. Also because the lyrics made Hanbin realize that Donghyuk probably did have a song that made him go all night long. More than one. 

“ _ The one that makes me go, ooh. _ ” Donghyuk slid up against Hanbin in slick little hip driven dance move and put his hands on Hanbin’s hips. “ _ That's all you gotta do. _ ”

“What are you doing?” Hanbin was smiling so broadly he could only mumble as Donghyuk was now making them both sway in time to the beat. 

“Dancing with you.” Donghyuk tilted his head and looked at Hanbin dreamily. “You know I love dancing.” 

“You do,” Hanbin said with a knowing smile and Donghyuk caught it and grinned, getting closer to him before spinning away as the chorus hit again. 

_ Oh, wait till you see my baby move _

_ Move, move, wait till you see my baby move _

Hanbin’s heart seemed to ache somehow, watching Donghyuk shimmy down the aisle and sing to the books on the shelf. Watching Donghyuk dance with his clothes on suddenly felt so intimate. He smiled fondly as Donghyuk spun and started coming back towards him. He took a few steps towards him before letting out a laugh and shaking his head. 

“Save some of that energy for later.” He teased. 

“Oh, boo,” Donghyuk replied with a dangerous smile. “You have no idea how much energy I have saved for later.” 

Hanbin blushed and Donghyuk’s smile only deepened as he leaned over to kiss him on the cheek and then continue shopping. They left the store with the four books Hanbin carried most of their browsing time. After a few hours window shopping and buying as they liked, they went to a shoe store where Donghyuk showed an intense enthusiasm for the custom shoes. Hanbin laughed to himself gently as he realized that Donghyuk and Bobby would probably get along perfectly. 

“Do you have enough?” Hanbin asked as Donghyuk held a shoe in his hands and eyed it longingly. 

“If I get my weekend pay in advance, yes.” Donghyuk looked at him with puppy eyes.

“Deal.” Hanbin smiled and took the shoe from Donghyuk to go and purchase. Donghyuk walked behind him. “Are you hungry yet?” 

“Yeah I could eat,” Donghyuk replied, his eyes still fixed on the soon to be his pair of shoes being boxed up. 

“We should try the hotel’s restaurant,” Hanbin said as he held up his credit card to indicate that’s how he wanted to pay. “They have amazing steak.” 

“Mm, beef.” Donghyuk sighed longingly. “I’ll definitely be hungry by the time we walk back.” 

Hanbin spoke politely with the clerk as he finished the transaction, he handed the bag over to Donghyuk as they left the store. Donghyuk cooed at his shoes and hugged the bag. Hanbin smiled at him and then freed his arm so Donghyuk could hook his arm around it again. 

They dumped all their bags in their room first and got changed into dresser clothes to meet the restaurant's dress code. Hanbin loved how much Donghyuk fussed. It was endearing somehow watching the confident stripper look at himself seriously in the mirror. Fixing his hair and patting at any invisible to anyone but him blemishes on his skin. Hanbin was wearing his go-to formal outfit of black on black collared shirt and dress pants. Donghyuk’s pants were form fitting to his thighs and butt, and Hanbin was thoroughly enjoying watching them flex naturally as Donghyuk moved. 

“Okay,” Donghyuk said, turning finally. 

“Okay,” Hanbin replied with a smile, standing and walking with Donghyuk to the door. 

Their table was already set with red wine that matched their steak reservation when they got there. Hanbin was surprised at how much he liked the flavour of it. Donghyuk looked around, awed at the gorgeous aesthetic of the place. Hanbin looked around and tried to see it as Donghyuk did. He smiled a little as Donghyuk looked up at the ceiling (which was painted with scenes from Shakespeare’s plays) and his mouth dropped open. 

“Wow, how long do you think that took?” Donghyuk looked back at Hanbin and then looked up at the ceiling as he pointed up at it. 

“A few months?” Hanbin offered, a serious estimate as he thought about how long it took him to make a song versus how long it would take to paint a painting. He couldn’t help but wonder if the artist loved it as much as Donghyuk seemed to. 

“Amazing,” Donghyuk said and looked back at Hanbin, he found himself smiling. “Thanks for this.” 

Hanbin smiled and looked at his wine, too shy to look at the stripper. “I think I’ve gotten more out of this trip than you. If you didn’t come along… I don’t know… if I would have felt any different than staying home.” 

Donghyuk sipped at his wine. “I’m glad then, bringing people pleasure is my ultimate goal in the end.” 

Hanbin smiled and rose his glass. “Cheers to that.” 

“Cheers.” Donghyuk laughed and tapped his glass against Hanbin’s gently. 

The food was beyond Hanbin’s expectations even by memory. The steak was perfectly medium rare, and the red wine gravy was heavenly. Donghyuk savoured every second with soft noises of delight and moments of eye shut bliss as he chewed. After their entrees, dessert was a refreshing slice of citrus cheesecake for them to share. Wine gone, and just waiting on the bill, Donghyuk suddenly recalled Chanwoo’s meme. 

“So my roommate found this post online that said whoever got the bill at a restaurant when you’re out with someone the same gender as you is the top in the relationship.” Donghyuk bit his lip playfully. 

“Oh, I’ve never heard of that,” Hanbin said and blushed faintly. 

“Time to find out anyway,” Donghyuk said as he spotted the waitress coming over. 

Hanbin and Donghyuk looked at each other as the waitress set the bill folder down in front of Hanbin. Donghyuk covered his hand with his mouth as Hanbin blushed and held up his credit card. The waitress picked the bill back up and took the card immediately. Donghyuk was giggling at how a man could blush while being so cool. Just handing over his card without even looking at the price of their meal. 

“Well,” Donghyuk grinned and bit at his tongue. “I wouldn’t say no if you wanted to.” 

Hanbin seemed to focus on anything but Donghyuk. It was cute to see how flustered he got, as the waitress came back he seemed to reclaim some of his regular colour. He stood and Donghyuk copied him, they left the restaurant and walked back down the hallway to the hotel lobby. Donghyuk made a noise of surprise when Hanbin stopped him and pushed them against the wall to kiss him. 

“Hi?” Donghyuk giggled with pleasure at Hanbin’s spontaneous attack of affection. 

“The only top I want to be-” Hanbin leaned over and ran his nose along Donghyuk’s neck and up so he could whisper into Donghyuk’s ear. “Is on top of your dick.” 

“Oof, boy,” Donghyuk replied softly and caressed Hanbin’s neck with his fingers. “We need to get back to the room before I make a mess of you right here.” 

They barely made it inside their suite before Donghyuk had his shirt off and had pinned Hanbin against the wall. His thigh pressed up against Hanbin’s crotch, Hanbin’s pants were already undone and Donghyuk’s hands were down inside his boxers. Hanbin had to shut his eyes, already his mind was spinning with Donghyuk’s overwhelming way of kissing him senseless. He opened his eyes when Donghyuk moved his hands so he could take off the producer’s shirt. Hanbin grinded hard against Donghyuk’s thigh. Donghyuk was completely seduced by the way Hanbin’s naked torso moved with his efforts and the perverse perfection of Hanbin’s v-line. 

“Fuck,” Hanbin cursed softly, his mouth opened slightly as he focused on writhing against Donghyuk. He could see Donghyuk’s rock hard erection showing through his jeans. He reached down and dragged his hand along the outline. 

“All for you,” Donghyuk said softly with a grin, he pushed his hips into Hanbin’s hand. 

“I want it,” Hanbin replied and tightened his grip on the outline, Donghyuk let out a breathy moan. “Please.” 

Donghyuk kissed Hanbin aggressively and then pushed himself away from the producer. He started to unbutton his pants. Hanbin was unable to look away as the stripper’s fetish inducing hands slowly revealed his erection. Hanbin wanted to fall on his knees. 

“Fuck I’m so lucky.” Hanbin licked his lips and then took off his pants. 

Donghyuk laughed, but it was a laugh of pleasure as he wrapped Hanbin up and lifted him. Hanbin kissed him until he was tossed onto the bed. Donghyuk climbed on top of him and wedged his thigh between Hanbin’s again. Hanbin immediately felt a rush of pleasure. He’d become addicted to the stripper’s thick thighs, wrapping his hands around the one between his legs and pulling himself tight against it. He made himself moan with his own efforts. 

“I love watching you have a good time.” Donghyuk giggled a little and leaned over to kiss Hanbin’s neck and brought his thigh up roughing against Hanbin. Making him gasp and curse gently. 

Hanbin chewed his lip and bucked his hips a few more times until he felt primed to get into Donghyuk’s lap. He pushed Donghyuk over and gave him a few moments to pull a pillow behind his head and get comfortable. When Hanbin finally dropped himself down on Donghyuk’s erection, he let out a curse that had the aura of a prayer. Donghyuk gripped Hanbin’s thighs and bit his bottom lip. Hanbin was hypnotic as he rolled his hips, bringing them both incredible pleasure as he found his rhythm. 

Donghyuk’s dimpled smile between kisses and biting his lip made Hanbin grin with delight. He threw himself down euphorically, his climax inching closer with each moment. Donghyuk groaned and arched his back so Hanbin could have even more of him. 

“God~” Hanbin let out a wavering cry as he gave himself a few strokes to completely knock his climax from him. 

Donghyuk sat up and wrapped Hanbin up in a tight embrace as he bucked up a few more times so he could join the producer in climax. Donghyuk made a gorgeous noise as he savoured the pleasure and the weight of Hanbin in his lap. He pressed his face against Hanbin’s chest tattoo and laughed softly. Hanbin got out of Donghyuk’s lap with a little groan and rolled to get his head onto a pillow.

Donghyuk looked back and moved before he relaxed onto a pillow too and sighed contently. 

“Thank you for coming with me,” Hanbin said softly. 

“Literally or?” Donghyuk teased and Hanbin blushed and rolled away from Donghyuk with an annoyed groan. 


	12. Vorfreude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vorfeude (n) the joyful anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures

Donghyuk woke up and immediately looked at the mirror on the ceiling. As usual, Hanbin had stolen all the blankets and then kicked them off during the night. Donghyuk only had the barest corner of the sheet to cover himself. In the reflection he felt one side of his mouth turn up in a half smile as he admired Hanbin’s uncovered ass. He had to admit he’d really miss the whole mirror on the ceiling experience. Maybe Hanbin would install one. He laughed a little to himself and got out of bed. He went around the room and started collecting his things. He wasn’t sure if rich people stole the bathroom stuff, but he definitely was.  Hanbin stayed asleep until Donghyuk dropped his suitcase and cursed.

“Sorry.” Donghyuk cringed as he picked his suitcase up again. “Just getting a head start.” Donghyuk refolded a shirt and then went over to sit on the bed and face Hanbin. “You’re cute when you’re sleeping.”

“Hmm.” Hanbin made a neutral noise and leaned over to rub his forehead against Donghyuk’s shoulder. “I need a coffee.”

“I’ll order some,” Donghyuk said and got off the bed with a smile and went to the room’s phone.

Hanbin watched him, enjoying how he smiled automatically when he heard another human’s voice on the other end of the phone. Donghyuk always reacted so positively to people, in Zoria it was too easy to mistake it for the stripper cruising for tips. This weekend proved however, that Donghyuk just had one of those souls that warms you.

“Coffee is on its way!” Donghyuk said cheerfully and went back over to his suitcase.

“I’m going to shower and then we can check out.”

“I’ll join you,” Donghyuk said cheerfully. By the time Hanbin turned around, he was already naked.

“Oh,” Hanbin felt himself blush a little bit, caught off guard by the stripper’s enthusiasm.

Donghyuk stuck his tongue out a little and hurried passed Hanbin to start the shower for them. Hanbin was starting to get embarrassed with himself with each new way he found to romanticize Donghyuk’s form. But the shower was another new experience, the way the water ran along the strippers’ muscle. He was struck with the realization that intimacy didn’t always have to mean sexual closeness. The shower was intimate, but in a way that was closer to affection. Donghyuk smiled with his eyes shut as he enjoyed the hot water hitting his shoulders. Hanbin walked over and gently ran his hands along Donghyuk’s face and down his neck. Donghyuk’s serene smile deepened and he grabbed Hanbin’s hands with his own and brought them up to kiss Hanbin’s fingers.

“It’s sad we have to go back to reality today huh?” Donghyuk said with a gentle smile.

Hanbin wanted to say they didn't have to, that they could stay here as long as they wanted. But the words stayed quiet in his chest. He leaned forward instead, Donghyuk grinned a little before meeting Hanbin in a kiss. Hanbin wrapped his hands around Donghyuk’s jaw as Donghyuk pulled him close and held him by the back of his neck. At the feeling of Donghyuk’s erection against him, Hanbin let out a needy moan. Donghyuk laughed softly and reached down to fondle him.

“What a great idea for saying goodbye to this gorgeous room,” Donghyuk’s smile turned dangerous and flirty as he started to work Hanbin over in earnest.

Hanbin knew the next time he took a shower he’d blush as he remembered how Donghyuk had him bent over and gripping the tile. How his voice echoed in the small room. He packed up his suitcase first and then repacked his mini studio set up. He made a quick note in his lyrics page that turned into a proper brain blast. Donghyuk played on his phone until it was time to go check out. Donghyuk had his mask back on again. Hanbin paid for the room and prayed they didn’t make any comments about the room service or the state of the room when they cleaned it.

“Please come again!”

Hanbin thanked the clerk and turned to walk with Donghyuk.

“I think you came enough, hmm?”

“You already made that joke!” Hanbin blushed and shoved him with a whine.

Donghyuk laughed in delight. “But you blush so cutely.”

Hanbin blushed darker and had to avoid eye contact with Donghyuk’s overwhelming eye smile.  

They ordered lunch on the train back to the city. Hanbin was impressed with how tasty it was. He’d never taken such an early train back home. Maybe the food was always better in the morning. After eating their dishes were taken away and Hanbin ordered another coffee as he got his laptop out and started working on his lyrics. Donghyuk leaned over to watch him work.

“Are you going to go right to the studio?”

“Yeah,” Hanbin said with a little nod. “I want to rework this with my real gear and make it into something.”

“I’m probably going to go right to work too,” Donghyuk said and then yawned. “But like, after a nap. You’re an exhausting dude to get to relax.”

Hanbin blushed a little and laughed. He suddenly remembered that he needed to pay Donghyuk. He looked in his bag and sifted through his on-hand cash. He’d gotten some out specifically for this weekend. He looked over at Donghyuk, shy again.

“I don’t want you to count this.”

“Not a good sign,” Donghyuk said with a little suspicious narrowing of his eyebrows.

“Just… please take it.” Hanbin said and passed the envelope over.

Donghyuk took the money and stuffed it into his backpack before quickly looking back at Hanbin’s laptop. “Can you give me any tips for doing remixes?”

Hanbin blinked a few times and then let the rest of the ride become an information session for the stripper. Donghyuk hung on every word, the fact he was getting musical guidance from THE BI did not escape him. He was still in a good mood when they got back to the city and Hanbin had another cab waiting for him to take him back to his apartment.

“Hey so, I had a really good time,” Donghyuk said as they walked towards the waiting taxis.

“Me too, thank you so much for agreeing,” Hanbin said as he looked at his feet. “You’re always making exceptions for me, and I’m honestly really so grateful.”

Donghyuk smiled, charmed by his shy honesty. “Well, you always make it worth my time. So how can I say no?”

Hanbin smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek, just above his facemask before walking over and letting the taximan take his bags.

“Honeys! I’m home!” Donghyuk called cheerfully as he shut the door to his apartment behind him and kicked off his shoes.

Chanwoo came down the hallway from his room with a smile. “Hey, welcome back, how was your trip?”

“Amazing, exhausting, exhausting.” Donghyuk laughed. “I think I’m going to crash before work. Where is Jinhwan?”

“Already gone, said he was going to have lunch with his sister and mom and then go to Zoria,” Chanwoo said. “Need help with anything?

Donghyuk was digging through his suitcase and backpack. “No, it’s, ah here.” Donghyuk found the book he’d picked out for Chanwoo. “If it’s not the right one pretend it is.”

Chanwoo laughed a little bit as he took the book but immediately became giddy with excitement. “This is awesome Donghyuk!”

Donghyuk smiled in relief. “I’m glad, how did moving Jinhwan go?”

“Good, you guys are going to have to work out some helluva clothing solution though. He has as many clothes as you.”

“Ah shit, I didn’t think about that.” Donghyuk sighed but it turned into a yawn. “Ah, a problem for tomorrow. I’m wasted, I need a nap before work.”

“Aww poor heathen all worn out from his weekend of sex?”

Donghyuk looked at Chanwoo with an annoyed frown. “Yes, it is actually exhausting. Try it sometime super nerd.”

Donghyuk shoved Chanwoo with his elbow and his roommate laughed a little as Donghyuk walked to his room.

“Don’t leave your luggage out here!!”

“I have to do laundry anyway! I’ll deal with it later.” Donghyuk replied and then flopped face down into his bed.

Chanwoo sighed in defeat as he pulled Donghyuk’s luggage over to one side of the living room. Where he fully expected it to stay for a least a week. Chanwoo went back to his room to look through the art book for his game with interest. He posted a photo of it in his Discord chat to brag. Everyone wanted the book, but only a few had actually taken the leap. It was expensive, as all collectable art books were. Chanwoo was more than excited to get a copy. He liked his Discord chat a lot most days and even had a few close friendships with some of the members. Like his buddy who went by “ZZ” who was forever tormenting him after realizing that Chanwoo was serious when he said he wasn’t actually his roommate’s “daddy”

_ZZ: Literally what's the point if you’re not getting any_

_CH: Strippers don't always sell sex you nimrod_

_ZZ: Yeah but some do, and yet you sit at home and clown with us when you could go out._

_CH: I make money when I’m at home_

_ZZ: And you make money to spend! Go get some ass or dick or whatever gay people say_

Chanwoo laughed a little and looked at the time, he sighed. ZZ had a point, and Donghyuk was oversleeping. Donghyuk woke when Chanwoo jumped on the bed with him.

“If you’re not a toilet or coffee I am not interested,” Donghyuk grumbled bitterly at Chanwoo who let out something of a gleeful laugh.

“You’re going to be late for work.” Chanwoo scolded with a smile. “Coming back to real life is so hard huh?”

“You have no idea,” Donghyuk whined and rolled over onto his back to look at Chanwoo who seemed more serious than usual. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about… maybe… one of those boys you mentioned before.” Chanwoo was blushing furiously.

Donghyuk blinked a few times as he tried to process. When he recalled what Chanwoo was referencing he sat up quickly. “Chanwoo do you want a top?”

“I don’t…I mean it’s like… ” Chanwoo sighed. “I want someone to be with… it’s been a... while.”

Donghyuk looked Chanwoo over in a serious, thoughtful way. “So you want to come to work with me and meet one of them?”

“It couldn’t hurt right?” Chanwoo said with a little shrug.

“You’re right,” Donghyuk said with a little happy grin. “I’ll even buy you some drinks.”

Chanwoo clenched his fists in victory and stood, Donghyuk laughed and got out of bed so he could toss a bag together for work.

 

~*~

Even with the visit with his sister and mom,  Jinhwan felt more bored than lonely with Donghyuk away. His phone was quieter than usual, and the dressing room was too without his easy laugh. He exhaled and refreshed his twitter feed in hopes something interesting was there. A friend from back home bought a new car, he liked the tweet automatically and went to take a drink of wine.

“Not judging, but it is a touch early for being wine drunk.” Junhoe teased playfully as he walked up behind the bar with a load of freshly cleaned towels for the bar.

“If I was the wife of a millionaire it’d be my aesthetic and no one would question it,” Jinhwan replied with a grin before taking another sip.

“Are you waiting for Donghyuk to practice or what?”

“He just got back from a trip and needed a nap, he’ll be here tonight for his shift.” Jinhwan shrugged as he relayed the info from the text he'd read a few minutes ago.

Junhoe thought for a few moments, knowing he should keep his mouth shut. Jinhwan took another sip of his wine. Junhoe willed himself to just to go back to setting up the bar but lacked the willpower. He looked at Jinhwan.

“I hate it when Donghyuk makes you like this.”

Jinhwan looked up at Junhoe, expression was a warning. Junhoe didn’t heed it.

“You give too much of yourself to Donghyuk. That's why you're always hurt.”

Jinhwan’s expression soured. “I’m not hurt.”

“Sure.” Junhoe waved at Jinhwan’s wine bottle. “This is you, not being hurt then?”

“And what about you huh? Picking at me because he’s away with some John? Get a grip Junhoe, this isn’t about me.” Jinhwan took his wine glass and hopped off the stool, heading back to the dressing room without one looking back.

Junhoe blinked a few times and wondered how it could have ever have been more about Jinhwan.

Two hours later, Donghyuk was rushing to get to work. He hated having less than an hour to get changed, stretched out and warmed up. More than an hour was better still if he wanted to try a new look. His duffle bag was barely on his shoulder as he scurried into the bar.

“Hey, June can I have a water?” Donghyuk went to the bar to turn his phone onto silent and then set his bag down to take off his shoe and dump the rock he’d managed to get lodged into it out.

Junhoe brought a glass of water over without saying anything by way of greeting. “How was your trip?”

Donghyuk drank the water in one gulp and set it down, his eyebrows furrowed. “Great, I had a great time.”

Junhoe took the glass and looked Donghyuk over, he recognized the sweater as a luxury brand. Junhoe felt that all too familiar but useless impulse to just keep his mouth shut.

“That must be one hell of a dick you’re sucking.”

“Excuse me?” Donghyuk’s face contorted with confusion.

“It’s one thing to need money for rent, but now? Like - what is this phone case worth? A grand?” Junhoe picked up Donghyuk’s phone.

“So? He likes to give me things.” Donghyuk shrugged and held up his hand and waited for Junhoe to pass his phone back to him.

“You really have no conscience do you?” Junhoe’s face went tight with disbelief. How could he just use this random dude as a shopping spree when Jinhwan was here miserable and drinking wine alone?

“Apparently you have enough of one for the both of us,” Donghyuk said with an edge of frustration as he snatched his phone away and went to the dressing room with his belongings. He set his bag and phone down at his prep area and immediately took off his shirt. He could hear Jinhwan talking to one of the other dancers on the other side of the room. He wanted to go and bitch about Junhoe, but he focused on getting dressed. He took off his pants and then went to put his bag up on his section of counter before digging in it for the underwear part of his outfit tonight.

“Hey baby! Welcome back!” Jinhwan’s cheerful greeting immediately erased Donghyuk’s mood. He turned and Jinhwan kissed him on the cheek. Jinhwan’s makeup was gorgeous today, heavy with glitter down from his temples to his cheeks. Donghyuk loved it and it made him smile. He could smell the Chardonnay on Jinhwan's breath.

“Oh, into the wine without me?”

“If I had of waited for you I wouldn’t have time to get dressed.” Jinhwan teased and smacked Donghyuk’s ass. “How was the trip?”

“Amazing.” Donghyuk sighed as he switched his underwear out for a pair of zippered short style briefs. “There was a jacuzzi right in the room with us.”

“Hot tub? Lucky bitch.” Jinhwan whined in jealousy, stopping when he saw the love mark on Donghyuk’s collarbone. “Oh, wait. Surgery required.”

“What?” Donghyuk looked down and barely saw the edge of the hickey Hanbin had left. “Ah, fuck.”

Jinhwan scampered over to his station to get his favourite concealer and setting powder. “Sit, I have done this operation many times.”

Donghyuk sat on his chair and sighed. “I shouldn’t have napped, I hate running late.”

“Well, it looks like you had a _busy_ few days.” Jinhwan smiled brightly and giggled a little as he warmed concealer on his hand and started tapping it in place.

“There was a mirror on the ceiling,” Donghyuk grinned and then laughed softly. “He responded very well.”

“He booked a room with a mirror on the ceiling? Talk about a John after my own heart.” Jinhwan laughed in reply.

“I think you’d like him a lot actually.” Donghyuk laughed as he tried to look at how Jinhwan was doing.

“Well then next time he needs a weekend tell him you can’t but you got a boy who will,” Jinhwan said with a little half smile.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to just see if he has any equally rich and lonely friends?” Donghyuk asked with a raise of his eyebrows. “Imagine the money if we both had a John like Hanbin.”

“Oh, you are so right.” Jinhwan paused. “Not just a pretty face huh?”

“Some days baby.” Donghyuk smiled brightly and then stood to check himself in the mirror. “Good enough, I gotta get stage ready.” Donghyuk smiled and reached into his bag to spray himself with cologne before pulling on his top. Just a cropped mesh vest that fit snuggly. “Oh yeah, Chanwoo is coming tonight.”

“Really?!” Jinhwan beamed with excitement. “What’s the occasion?”

“He’s horny.” Donghyuk grinned as he checked for his other fingerless glove, they were the same mesh as his vest. “Do you think anyone will take him home?”

“Does he have the money for that?” Jinhwan raised an eyebrow.

“I know, but honestly last time he just chickened out anyway.” Donghyuk laughed a little. “I figured he’ll get some flirts and pats in. I’ll buy him a few drinks and he’ll still enjoy himself.”

“I’ll go make sure the new boys give him some extra attention,” Jinhwan said with a nod and a smile. He turned and Donghyuk gently caught his arm. “Hm?”

“Was Junhoe weird for you today?” Donghyuk asked with a little tilt of his head.

“Yeah, he was,” Jinhwan replied with a little purse of his lips. “Must be his mensies or something.”

“Well, at least it’s not just me.” Donghyuk laughed a little.

“Definitely not just you.” Jinhwan laughed too and then went over to talk to the newest dancers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for whatever reason, this chapter was impossible to write. TT I hope it was worth the minor delays


	13. Oculoplania

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oculoplania (n) letting your eyes wander in order to assess someone's charms

Chanwoo showed up in one of the outfits that Donghyuk picked out for him months ago when he last had interest in going to the club (but chickened out). A dark green silky dress shirt opened to expose his chest, well fitting black dress pants and a slick belt with silver buckle. He didn’t bother with jewelry or a fancy hairstyle, just a spray of cologne. Anything more than that and he figured he’d feel too unlike himself to make a good first impression. He went to the bar and was immediately given a red wine sangria. 

“You’re the roommate right?” 

“Yeah, that’s me.” Chanwoo smiled brightly and took the sangria. 

“Great, enjoy your night!” 

“This is a good start.” Chanwoo lifted his glass to indicate his drink and turned to look around the club. 

Chanwoo went over to an empty table where he could sip at his delicious drink and people watch for a bit. He was about halfway through his sangria when Jinhwan found him. 

“Oh! Dad~dy!” Jinhwan greeted him cheerfully and wrapped an arm around him. “What are you drinking?” He took a sip and made a noise of approval. “Oh, that’s amazing.” 

“It was a gift from the bar, Donghyuk must have set it up for me.” Chanwoo grinned and took his drink back to sip some more. He liked how Jinhwan’s makeup caught the stage lights, the neon of his fishnet stockings glowed in the blacklight. “I like your outfit.” 

“Right?” Jinhwan took a step back to do a turn around so Chanwoo could see the whole thing. The neon trim around the heart cut out half exposing Jinhwan’s ass made Chanwoo laugh in appreciation. Jinhwan faced Chanwoo again and took on a totally different energy. All flirting and danger. “I like yours too, those tiddies getting some air  _ finally _ !!” Jinhwan pulled at Chanwoo’s shirt with a happy smile. “I heard you might like some attention tonight?” 

Chanwoo blushed but hoped Jinhwan couldn’t see it. “Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m hoping for.” 

“Perfect, I’ll spread the word.” Jinhwan smiled dangerously and winked at Chanwoo before heading on to the next table.

Chanwoo drank a second of the sangrias before a dancer came up to him. He liked how easy it was to talk with the alcohol in his system. The dancer was almost as tall as him, wearing a bodysuit and some bunny stockings. Chanwoo liked how he dragged his fingers along the opening of his shirt and winked at him. But other than the easy flirting, Chanwoo didn’t feel inspired to ask more of the dancer. He said he couldn’t wait to see him on stage and then asked if he wanted a drink. The dancer declined and Chanwoo went to the bar alone. 

At the bar Chanwoo had another dancer approach him, this one did let him buy a drink. There was something cute about his oversized sheer sweater dress thing, even with the tiny underwear and lacey stockings underneath. Chanwoo enjoyed how the dancer (stage name Stardust) pressed up against him and the naturalness of his smile. 

“What about a little private time you and me?” Stardust asked and pinched Chanwoo’s cheek. 

“I… yes. I’d like to.” Chanwoo felt himself blush. “I don’t know… I don’t want to insult you by not paying you enough.” 

“Aw, cutest.” Stardust beamed. “Your dimples are a payment all on their own.” 

Chanwoo stood and let the stripper take him up to the dance booths. The dance was a little awkward but not wholly unpleasant. Chanwoo enjoyed the stripper’s enthusiasm and honestly, just having another body touch his in a sexual way was pleasurable. Stardust smelled faintly of something sweet like marshmallows and even when the dance was done he could smell it on his clothes. Chanwoo offered as much money as he could while still be able to afford another drink. 

Chanwoo got back to the bar when Donghyuk was just stepping on stage. He watched the men and women at the edge of the stage flapped their money at his roommate. It was strange seeing him like this. Sure, the nudity was per usual now in their daily routine but there was an aura his friend had on stage. Something powerful and so unlike the goofy guy who needed reminders to do his laundry and dishes. Chanwoo tilted his head a little and smiled warmly, strangely overcome with affectionate pride. Donghyuk was beaming, having the time of his life and being paid for it. Chanwoo was well aware not everyone was so lucky to do so. When Donghyuk was done Chanwoo whistled and cheered as loud as anyone at the stage. He was still smiling and clapped again when Donghyuk walked over to him.

“Did you enjoy?” Donghyuk asked with a flirty pose and smile. 

“Very impressive, dear heathen” Chanwoo replied with a laugh. 

Donghyuk waved at the bartender and motioned for a drink. The bartender nodded and went to the back of the bar. Donghyuk was leaning on the bar, cutely waiting for his drink to be served when someone walked over and slapped his ass so hard he actually let out a yelp. He turned quickly and Chanwoo got off his stool, instinctively ready to fight. Donghyuk grabbed Chanwoo’s wrist and looked at the bartender. 

“Trash run please,” he said firmly. 

The bartender nodded and went over to the other side of the bar, closer to the door where the bouncers were gathered. Chanwoo watched with interest as a bouncer went over. He tapped the patron on the shoulder and made clear motions with his arms that they needed to start walking. 

“Do you get many like that?” Chanwoo asked as he watched the bouncers talk with the patron, who seemed to know he’d overstepped. 

“A few, comes with the job.” Donghyuk shrugged and took a second to thank the bartender for his drink. “They think that they own you if they give you a tip. Drink with me, forget him.” 

Chanwoo watched the bouncers take the guy the rest of the way outside and then looked back at Donghyuk. He drank a long sip of his long island iced tea. 

“Any interest tonight?” Donghyuk asked and elbowed Chanwoo knowingly. 

“A few, I think, I just… I dunno. Wouldn’t it be weird of me to take one of your coworkers home?” 

“Two consenting adults can do whatever they want.” Donghyuk shrugged cheerfully. 

Chanwoo smiled and drank more of his drink. Donghyuk looked back out at the bar and seemed to scan carefully. “Time to go make some cash Daddy, if you’re not waiting for me at close I’ll send you a congratulations text.” 

“Thank you.” Chanwoo laughed and shook his head. 

Chanwoo was starting to feel his drinks, so he decided to slow down a little and sip at a glass of water. He watched the strippers walk around and flirt, he liked the energy of the club. It was comfortable somehow. The bouncers were great at their jobs, no one was on their phones since they were banned. So everyone was just… more connected to the experience. He looked around and tried to find his roommates again.

Donghyuk and Jinhwan were up at their favourite spot, a waiting area of sorts between the stage and the backroom. It gave them a perfect view of the whole club, and a bouncer was between them and the public. It was a great spot for a break, with two standing height tables and two tables with chairs. Donghyuk was at one of the standing tables sipping a fruity drink. Jinhwan was just coming back from putting a bandaid on his raw from shoes heel. 

“How cute is Chanu Daddy over there?” Jinhwan walked over and wrapped his arms around Donghyuk’s waist. 

Donghyuk turned slightly to spot Chanwoo over at the bar. He was smiling pleasantly to himself as he looked around. Something about his pose an aura was so confident it made Donghyuk smile. 

“Aw, is he looking for a pretty boy?” Donghyuk turned his head slightly. “He’s running out of  time to make a move.”

“I heard that he got a dance from Min?” Jinhwan said with a smile. “I’m glad cause boy needs the practice.” 

“He’s gotten much looser you have to admit.” Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan. 

“In the way that sometimes table legs are loose, yes.” 

“Oh,” Donghyuk shook his head and laughed. “I do not miss your criticisms.” 

“Look how good they made you!” Jinhwan laughed and the looked around the other side of the club. “You feeling like another rotation?” 

“Nah, I made enough. I just want to get into my comfy undies and go home.” Donghyuk sighed softly. 

Jinhwan agreed and they went backstage to waste away the last half hour of the bar being opened. Donghyuk immediately changed and sat down gratefully. Rolling his head back and sighing. Jinhwan changed but couldn’t bring himself to wipe away his make up just yet. He held up his phone to take some pictures. Donghyuk looked at him in the mirror, noticing that Jinhwan had gotten a new phone case over the weekend too.

“Hey, Jinhwan,” Donghyuk said as he looked at his phone. 

“Yes, babe.” 

“Do you think I shouldn’t take gifts from Hanbin?” 

Jinhwan turned and looked at Donghyuk properly. “Does this have to do with you asking if Junhoe was weird tonight?” 

Donghyuk shrugged and Jinhwan knew he was right. He felt burning annoyance creep up his chest. 

“Gifts freely given should be freely received,” Jinhwan said after a few moments. “Seriously, your church conscience drives me nuts.” 

“Sorry,” Donghyuk laughed and looked over at Jinhwan. 

Jinhwan got up and walked over to Donghyuk to pinch his cheeks in mock scolding. “Come on, let’s go see if Chanwoo is walking us home.” 

Donghyuk stood and got his bag, they stopped at the bar to leave their percentages taken by the bar directly. The bar was empty now, and it always felt a little comforting. Like everyone finally going home after a long party. Outside, Chanwoo was talking casually with a few of the bouncers. 

“Daddy~ take us home!” Jinhwan called and opened his arms and pouted out his bottom lip. 

Chanwoo laughed, excused himself from the conversation he was in and walked over. Jinhwan kept his arms open. 

“Carry me~” 

Chanwoo rolled his eyes but did actually turn around to offer up a piggyback ride. Donghyuk laughed as Jinhwan let out a little noise of glee before jumping up and settling in for the carry home. 

“You’re actually heavier than you look,” Chanwoo said with a laugh. 

Jinhwan pinched his ear. “Rude!” 

Jinhwan’s piggyback ride only lasted until the subway. Then the roommates caught the next train to their apartment. Donghyuk wasn’t as tired as he thought he was going to be as they reached their building door. They filed in, Chanwoo first and Donghyuk behind as they headed upstairs and down the hallway to their front door.  

“Well, it’s too bad that you struck out tonight,” Donghyuk said, wrapping his arm around Chanwoo’s waist. 

“I still had a good time.” Chanwoo smiled and put his own arm around Donghyuk’s shoulders again. “And there’s always good old fashioned masturbation.” 

“God when is the last time I touched myself?” Jinhwan pondered out loud.

“You don’t masturbate?” Donghyuk asked with some surprised raising of his eyebrows as he went ahead to open the door for everyone. 

“That’s literally why I have you?” Jinhwan replied with a laugh. 

“So what was that box labelled sex toys actually for?” Chanwoo asked as they headed up the stairs together. 

“Sex?” Jinhwan replied. “Duh?” 

“Dildos aren’t just for solo missions you sweet innocent child.” Donghyuk laughed and shook his head. 

Chanwoo protested his lack of understanding all the way to their apartment. They all kicked off their shoes and hung up their jackets as Jinhwan teased Chanwoo some more. 

“As fun as that sounds, I think I’ll stick to the old-fashion way of getting off.” Chanwoo laughed as he walked down the hall to his room. 

“Do you need some porn? I could send some nudes?” Donghyuk said with an expression the picture of earnest as he followed after his roommate. 

“Please don’t.” Chanwoo sighed and pushed open the door to his room. Donghyuk could hear the sound of a belt being tossed. 

“What about that really great dildo I mentioned?” Jinhwan called through the door. “I’d only need a second to unpack it.”

“To quote myself literally ten seconds ago: Please don’t!” Chanwoo replied again. 

Donghyuk bit back a laugh and went into his bedroom, pulling Jinhwan behind him so Chanwoo couldn’t hear them. “I think you need to go suck his dick.” 

“Really?” 

“Honestly he has the two of us here and he’s going to use Lubriderm and his sweaty gamer hand? Who would let that happen in good conscience?” Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan with high eyebrows. 

Jinhwan laughed a little. “Alright well, if he lets me.” 

“He’s all wound up if there was ever a time it’d be now.” Donghyuk smiled affectionately at Jinhwan. 

Jinhwan returned the smile and then slipped out into the hall again. He stood outside Chanwoo’s door and tried to listen for a few moments. Chanwoo was quiet except when he was cursing at another gamer, so it wasn’t surprising but still a little disappointing that Jinhwan didn’t get to hear a moan or anything. 

“Chanu~” 

“Oh my God, please let me just jack off in peace.” 

“Is this door locked?” Jinhwan asked and then turned the doorknob and opened the door. “Oh right, they don’t lock.” 

Chanwoo was under his covers except for his face. Honestly, Jinhwan couldn’t decide if he was more annoyed or angry as he looked over. 

“Are you serious?” 

“I was just wondering… If I could… help you.” Jinhwan’s mouth turned up in a sweet little smile. He was posing innocently, flirting in a cutesy sort of way. 

“Help me?” Chanwoo deadpanned. 

“You know, how Donghyuk and I help each other sometimes,” Jinhwan said as he walked forward. “Surely you've had enough of handjobs this year, huh?” Jinhwan grinned almost obscenely, his teeth and eyes catching the light from Chanwoo’s chroma PC. 

Chanwoo looked Jinhwan over, the stripper’s hands were trailing along his hips. Teasing his exposed vline and treasure trail. Chanwoo was already hard from his own half-hearted efforts, but he felt his erection ache at the idea of Jinhwan’s gorgeous mouth on him. “Yeah… you're fucking right. I am.” 

Jinhwan’s grin turned into a proper smile as he walked towards Chanwoo on the bed. Chanwoo felt himself blushing as he lifted the covers. 

“You can leave them over you if it makes you more comfortable,” Jinhwan said as he shuffled onto the bed on his knees and lifted one side of the blanket to slip underneath. 

Chanwoo’s heart was beating nearly out of his chest as he felt Jinhwan crawl into place between his legs. He exhaled and relaxed his shoulders and neck. He was gently sucking on his bottom lip when Jinhwan’s first touches started. Gentle kisses up his thighs and along his pelvis. His hands dragged along his skin and up to his hips. It’d been so long since anyone had touched him intimately he felt weightless with relief. 

“Shit,” Chanwoo said softly as Jinhwan bit at his hips. He dared to lift up the covers and toss them aside. He could make out Jinhwan’s form pretty clearly. He blushed at his own awkward waist down nudity and Jinhwan’s completely clothed form. Jinhwan’s cheekbones glittered from his leftover makeup, it was mesmerizing as he lifted his head. 

“Has anyone ever told you, you have a fantastic cock?” Jinhwan looked at Chanwoo for the briefest moment before looking down at his own hand as he started to stroke Chanwoo’s erection. 

“No,” Chanwoo let out in a breath, relaxing his neck again and flopping back into the pillows. 

“What a shame,” Jinhwan said leaning over and kissing Chanwoo’s hips again. “You are gorgeous.” 

Chanwoo felt himself tingle with the praise, smiling gently until Jinhwan’s mouth was on his dick. He had to look down his body again. Jinhwan’s hand was still doing its magic but the feeling of his mouth was indescribable. He instinctively bucked his hips up and Jinhwan let out a noise of joy, not pleasure. He had to take his mouth off to laugh softly. Chanwoo brought a hand up to cover his eyes with the back of his wrist for a moment before bringing it down to bite his thumb knuckle. Jinhwan’s mouth was back on his dick, and his hand was stroking what didn’t fit. The combination was hysterically gorgeous. 

“Fuck~” Chanwoo’s attempt at keeping himself quiet was unsuccessful as Jinhwan tweaked his head perfectly with his lips. He looked down again as Jinhwan sat up better and gave him one last drag with his mouth before looking at him again, his hand still stroking him. 

“I heard you might like a little additional stimulation?” Jinhwan flicked his eyebrows and dragged his fingers along his tongue. He kept his eyes on Chanwoo as he lowered his hand and pressed his fingers into him. 

“Oh fucking, hell.” Chanwoo looked up at the ceiling, his eyes wide with pleasure. He knew Jinhwan was going to know what he was doing, but he was shaken to his core by how good it all felt. How much better than his own miserable, quick, handjobs. 

Jinhwan leaned over, the awkward angle easy to ignore with how wonderful Chanwoo’s responses were. He set to make him climax, his fingers deep inside him and his mouth latched onto his cock.

“Oh, fuck, Jinhwan.” Chanwoo had lost all sense of modesty, drunk on the pleasure within him. “Oh fuck, I’m, so close. Fuck.” 

Chanwoo was chasing his orgasm with more speed than he intended, he wanted to savour and indulge. But the prize was too lucrative now, he wanted it with his whole being. Jinhwan made a few cute little noises and Chanwoo cursed before his release shook him. His abs tightened, and his legs twitched as Jinhwan released his cock from his mouth but kept tweaking his ass. 

“Mm, yes,” Jinhwan said gently, his voice nearly a purr. “What a fantastic cock.” 

“God.” Chanwoo forced his eyes open wide only to have them relax to a hazy half shut. He felt Jinhwan leave him and the bed, he exhaled long and slow. 

“This was Donghyuk’s idea by the way. So make sure you thank him in the morning.” Jinhwan said with a little laugh. 

“Sure.” Chanwoo laughed a little and rolled over to look at Jinhwan as he started to leave. “You heathens do have your moments.” 

Jinhwan laughed and shook his head, heading back across the hall to crawl back into bed with Donghyuk. 

“I’m proud of you.” Donghyuk laughed softly and pulled Jinhwan in closer to cuddle. 

“I told him to thank you in the morning.” Jinhwan laughed and instinctively nuzzled his nose into Donghyuk’s neck. 

Donghyuk’s grin got a little perverse as he felt Jinhwan’s dick half hard against his leg. “It’s too bad he didn’t have the sense to return the favour.” 

“He’ll learn one day,” Jinhwan said with a little laugh. 

“Do you want me to?” 

“Sh, you just had a whole weekend of sex. Don’t worry about me.” Jinhwan patted Donghyuk’s face affectionately. “Let’s just sleep.” 

“Baby,” Donghyuk shifted so he was on his side facing Jinhwan and looked at him with intense affection, his eyebrows drooped slightly. “If you need me, you get me.” 

Jinhwan smiled broadly and laughed softly before leaning in to kiss Donghyuk properly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is essentially the second half of chapter 12, but I was still having a hard time connecting the scenes. I hope you enjoyed ;3


	14. Whelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whelve: (n) to bury something deep; to hide.

As usual, Donghyuk was the first one awake. He got out of bed with a smack to Jinhwan’s butt sticking out of the blankets. 

“G’way’whore,” was the mumbly reply. 

“Oh, so grumpy” Donghyuk cooed affectionately as he pulled on a shirt and athletic shorts. “Do you want coffee?” 

“Mmm,” Jinhwan whined and rolled over to look Donghyuk and nodded. “Yes.” 

Donghyuk smiled at Jinhwan’s cute face, the traces of glitter ran down his cheeks. “You should have washed your face better yesterday. We’ll have to wash the sheets now.” 

“Mmf.” Jinhwan furrowed his brow in a deep sulk and rolled away again. 

Donghyuk laughed softly again and left the bedroom. He exercised quickly in the living room just to stretch out. After a few satisfying stretches, he was feeling lively enough to start making breakfast. He was not a fantastic cook, neither was Chanwoo honestly, but the two of them had learned how to make basic things just living on their own. He was nearly finished when Jinhwan joined him with a long yawn. 

“No coffee?” Jinhwan pouted as he looked around the kitchen in hopes to find a steaming mug somewhere. 

“I suck dick I don’t make coffee,” Donghyuk replied with a furrowed brow and shake of his head. 

“The worst,” Jinhwan looked at Donghyuk like he was disgusted as he walked to the cupboard to start the coffee process. “I’m switching to Chanwoo’s bed.” 

“His bed is bigger but the sex is probably better in my bed.” Donghyuk shrugged and then looked over at Jinhwan to grin. 

“You just wait, give me three more weeks and I’ll have that tall boy as good as you.” Jinhwan pointed at Donghyuk with his packet of instant coffee. 

“Delicious, I support this.” Donghyuk laughed and plated the quick breakfast of reheated rice and grilled meat. 

“I’m not sharing!” Jinhwan said with a laugh. 

“You don’t get to jump in and steal him! I’ve known him my whole life!” 

“And which of us did he let suck his dick last night?” Jinhwan replied with a sly smile. 

Donghyuk was about to reply but he heard Chanwoo walking down the hall and decided to wait until he was in the room so he could involve him in the debate. Chanwoo came in wearing his usual pyjamas and a serious frown. 

“Jinhwan, I’m filing a formal complaint.” Chanwoo hit the table assertively and then crossed his arms. 

“Okay?” Jinhwan asked, serious as he tried to remember any detail that might have upset his new roommate. He didn’t think he left laundry or dildos anywhere. 

“I have glitter in my pubes man, it looks like the sugar plum fairy has given me a blowjob.” 

Donghyuk fell over with the force of his laugh. “I told you! I told you!” 

“Yuk it up assholes, both of you enjoyed me and my glitter last night.” Jinhwan frowned and took his freshly made coffee to the table. 

Donghyuk walked over, still giggling, with the breakfast he made. They kept the topic of their conversation the same as they all ate from the same two plates. Chanwoo only left the table to make a proper pot of coffee. After they finished eating Jinhwan washed the dishes as Chanwoo and Donghyuk got into a heated debate about the new cleaning rotation with Jinhwan included. They were interrupted when Donghyuk’s phone buzzed on the table. His face lit up as he read the message. “Oh, gotta go to work.”

“Hanbin?” Jinhwan asked with a little grin at his Donghyuk was smiling. 

Donghyuk nodded and stood up. 

“Did you pack a lunch?” Jinhwan flapped at him maternally.

“Take an umbrella in case it rains!” Chanwoo added, catching Jinhwan’s way of teasing and adding his own. 

“Alright moms.” Donghyuk looked at them with a little furrow of his brow and laughed a little. 

Chanwoo and Jinhwan followed Donghyuk to the entrance and held each other in a stiff photograph pose. Jinhwan faked an emotional sniff “Just look at our baby, all grown up and making us proud. He works so hard.” 

“Jeez, you suck his personality out of his dick or what?” Donghyuk laughed as he pulled on his shoes. 

“Can I just say I feel like too much of our morning was spent talking about my dick, and I’m starting to feel really objectified-” Chanwoo put a hand on his chest and looked between the two strippers.

Donghyuk rolled his eyes and went to the door. “Yeah buddy, alright.” He looked at Chanwoo. “See you later glitter dick, Sugar Plum Fairy.” Donghyuk saluted and closed the door behind him to the sound of both of his roommates laughing. 

~*~

Jinhwan had plans of his own today. When he was left without distractions his mind always wandered back to Junhoe, and the soft, sad expression Donghyuk had when he asked if he was doing something wrong. It killed him to see Donghyuk still struggle with this, as Jinhwan had been working for years now. Donghyuk was the warmest and sweetest boy Jinhwan had ever met. The fact that Junhoe treated him like some scheming harlot made his blood boil. He’d always been protective of the dancers, he’d been at the club long enough to have met more than one bouncer who was only there for “the sluts.” 

He wasn’t sure why he latched onto Donghyuk so quickly that amatuer night. Donghyuk had been sincerely awkward, but he had a natural sexiness that came across. Jinhwan became a bit infatuated with the idea of turning Donghyuk into the perfect stripper. He felt like he had done that flawlessly. It helped that Jinhwan also enjoyed Donghyuk’s passion in bed as well, but he saw that as an additional blessing and didn’t let it affect his teaching. 

As he walked from the subway station to the club he found it easy to get sentimental about Donghyuk. Their friendship and experiences together made Jinhwan more maternal than ever. He wanted to protect Donghyuk, he wanted to keep him warm and loving and joyful. He needed to protect him from the harshness of the real world as much as possible. And that meant he needed to talk to Junhoe. The bouncer was usually the first one in the club, as he liked being able to either work overtime or leave at midnight before it got really crazy. He was well liked by most of the dancers too, just because he was hot as fuck and easy to flirt with. Jinhwan liked flirting with him too, but also felt that Junhoe’s mouth worked about twice as fast as it should be compared to the speed of his brain. 

“Hey,” Junhoe greeted him as soon as he was in the club. 

Jinhwan had a three second bit of silence as he thought about whether or not he wanted small talk before he grilled the bouncer. All it took was the thought of what Junhoe would say if he knew Donghyuk was already with his John to make up his mind. 

“What did you say to Donghyuk last night?” 

Junhoe didn’t know how to reply, Jinhwan hadn’t even greeted him. “Huh?”

“What did I say?!” Jinhwan snarled at Junhoe and shoved him. “What did I fucking say?” 

Junhoe looked taken aback, Jinhwan had never been this angry with him before without some kind of situation immediately beforehand. He looked at him dumbly. 

“I said we get enough shit out there.” Jinhwan pointed towards the doors. “And now you’re in here shaming Donghyuk for getting his dick wet because it’s not up to your high and mighty moral standards?” 

“Jinhwan-”

“No! You don’t get to…” Jinhwan exhaled and tried to gather his thoughts. “If you’re jealous of his John and you think this will get you with Donghyuk you are so fucking wrong.” 

“I’m not jealous!” Junhoe snarled. “I’m mad at him.” 

“Why?” Jinhwan asked. “Because good little boys don’t sleep with men for money? Save it for church you asshole, and leave Donghyuk alone.” 

“So I’m just supposed to let him-” 

“Yes.” Jinhwan’s face contorted with a sort of disgusted disbelief. “Listen to yourself! “Just  _ let  _ him” fucking Christ Junhoe. Why do you think you have any sort of say over what he does with his life? Where does this possession even come from?” 

“I care about... both of you,” Junhoe said stiffly, his jaw barely moving. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Jinhwan. 

“Junhoe do you love Donghyuk?” Jinhwan asked after a few moments had passed. 

“Yes.” Junhoe blushed and continued to avoid eye contact. 

Jinhwan nodded, feeling validation after years of assuming. “I love him too.”

“I know,” Junhoe said softly, he nodded a little and finally looked up to make eye contact again. “I know that you’ll always love him more than me. No matter what I do, maybe that’s what makes me such a bitter bastard.” 

“Punishing him because of me won’t make him love you,” Jinhwan said softly, his hands had made fists at some point. “I’d rather you just treat me like shit.” 

“I don’t want to treat either of you like shit.” Junhoe sighed and felt like slumping to the floor in defeat. “Jinhwan, I’m sorry.” 

“Be sorry to Donghyuk and maybe we’ll get somewhere,” Jinhwan said sternly and then turned on his heel and went to go backstage and get ready for some pole routine practise to work off his bad mood.  

Junhoe stood where he was and tried to digest his feelings in a way that made them all make sense to him. After a few minutes, he gave up, decided he was an idiot and that was all he was ever going to be and then went up to the private booths to try and find something to do that made him forget about how much he wanted to drink. 

~*~

Hanbin had Donghyuk wrapped up in a needy embrace three seconds after Donghyuk was in his penthouse. The producer’s mouth on his neck made Donghyuk smile like an idiot. 

“You didn’t miss me this much.” Donghyuk laughed as Hanbin’s fingers teased his waistband. 

“Twenty four hours is enough, every second after is too much,” Hanbin said and then pulled open Donghyuk’s pants before making space between them and taking off his shirt and grinning at Donghyuk dangerously as he took a few steps backwards before turning and walking down the hall properly. 

Donghyuk followed with a dangerous smile of his own that Hanbin couldn’t see. He really appreciated Hanbin’s aura today, all confidence and teasing. It was like he was more BI than Hanbin. Donghyuk felt a churning in his stomach as he realized this would mean he actually sucked BI’s dick. He hurried his pace to catch Hanbin and throw him against a wall to make a mess of his neck with his mouth. He pressed his body against Hanbin’s and writhed gently. 

“Fuck~’ Hanbin gasped and shut his eyes. 

“Right here?” Donghyuk laughed softly and then pulled off his shirt and pushed down his pants. “Okay baby, whatever you want.” 

Hanbin let out a needy whine before pushing down his pants and turning so Donghyuk could have him right there against the wall. Donghyuk had to admit the way Hanbin’s voice echoed in the hallway was one of the best things he’d ever heard. He became addicted to it, bucking up and hard into Hanbin and making him cry out just so he could hear the reverb. 

“I can’t …” Hanbin gasped as his knees weakened. “Donghyuk shit- I can’t… stand.” 

Donghyuk got a few more thrusts in before he pulled out and the pair of them fumbled to the bedroom, Hanbin’s legs were jelly from the pleasure, but he crawled into Donghyuk’s lap and held on in his favourite clingy style as the stripper kept up his relentless thrusts. 

“Show me you love it,” Donghyuk said as he leaned back a little so Hanbin could have more of his cock inside him. 

Hanbin gripped Donghyuk’s shoulders with both hands as he rocked himself. He felt drunk, exhausted already from his pathetic attempts at sleep. He’d called Donghyuk over just to desperately try and replicate how amazing their weekend had been. Hanbin wanted to feel the already distant comfort of the stripper. How normal it had all felt. He hadn’t treasured each moment properly. So he wanted to make it up to the stripper now. He wanted to savour every second of pleasure. 

“Fuck, Donghyuk, please. Just… Fuck me hard, please. I can’t.” 

Donghyuk flopped Hanbin over on his back and started his vicious thrusts until the producer cried out in climax. Donghyuk bit at Hanbin’s neck and listened to his soft whines euphorically until he found his release too. 

“God, you’re amazing.” Hanbin sighed and relaxed back as Donghyuk rolled to the side and laughed a little in joy at the compliment. “I can’t ever get enough of you.” 

“I hope you never do.” Donghyuk teased a little as he looked over. 

Hanbin smiled briefly at Donghyuk stretched out in his bed. He loved the blatant nakedness of the scene. Donghyuk suddenly wasn’t even a sexual thing to him. He had transcended, he was art, like a carved statue in Rome. Hanbin rolled over and straddled Donghyuk’s hips and leaned over so he could study the stripper’s face now that it was so close to him. He loved the details of him, his lashes, brow bones, the soft lines of his lips. Gently he dragged his thumb along Donghyuk’s features. Donghyuk’s mouth pulled up on one side with a smile, his heart fluttering gently at Hanbin’s serious but soft gaze. Hanbin didn’t even want to kiss him, his heart was hypnotized instead, consumed with veneration. Donghyuk kissed the edge of Hanbin’s hand as it passed his mouth again and the spell he was under seemed to weaken. 

“Thinking about something?” Donghyuk smiled gently and tilted his head to study Hanbin’s features in turn. 

“I’m not thinking,” Hanbin replied and got shy again. “I’m memorizing.” 

Donghyuk’s smile took on a more sincere shape, he was flooded with a near-nauseating wave of affection. “You sure know how to charm a boy.” 

Hanbin mumbled something neither of them really understood and Donghyuk leaned up to kiss him sweetly on the mouth. Hanbin was left feeling like he was suddenly drifting in a warm ocean. He needed to exhale. He needed to compose. He held Donghyuk’s arms affectionately. “Would you like… to relax in a bath or something before you go? I… don’t want to rush you out but… you inspired a song I’d like to start… working on it.” 

“As long as I get to listen to it when it’s done.” Donghyuk grinned. 

Hanbin smiled and nodded before getting off of Donghyuk and leading him to his master bathroom. Donghyuk felt a rush of gleeful energy at how gorgeous the tub was, he couldn’t wait to soak in it. Hanbin got him towels and Donghyuk kissed him again just to see the cute way he smiled. 

“Use anything you like, I got a lot of salts and stuff for presents. There should be one you like.” 

“Ah, amazing thank you.” Donghyuk clapped a little and went to smell the bath products. Hanbin stole one last look at him before he went to his home studio.

Donghyuk couldn’t help but take some selfies with the gorgeous view in the background just to tease Jinhwan. 

_ DK: Heyyy sooooo maybe this is my aesthetic?  _

_ JH: GIRL WHAT  _

_ JH: WHERE AREYOU?  _

_ JH: IS THAT HANBIN’S PLACE _

_ DK: His ensuite :3  _

Donghyuk sent a little video of the whole bathroom and ended with a teasing flash of his tongue. 

_ JH: OMG FucK YOU  _

_ JH: Literally where is my rich John I DESERVE  _

_ DK: want me to ask Hanbin about his thoughts on threesomes baby?  _

_ JH: I’ll be his maid if it means I get a soak in that tub  _

_ JH: With you there tho ofc ;3  _

_ DK: Ofc ;3  _

_ JH: Are you coming to work tonight or… doing work?  _

_ DK: I’m going to be there I need that paycheck Es’s school doesn’t pay for itself.  _

_ JH: ok GOOD cause I’d be MAD BORED  _

_ JH: I miss you too TT did I show it well enough last night?  _

_ DK: Oh…  _

_ DK: Well maybe… you need to try again?  _

_ JH: Pfffft, fat chance I’m onto that Chanu dick now I don’t need you.  _

_ DK: lmao you petty bitch  _

_ DK: Okay lemme go say bye to hanbin see you in a few hours. You want me to bring anything?  _

_ JH: Boba and donuts, Jaz is having a bad body day and I can’t get her to shake it we’re just going to have to own it.  _

_ DK: Okay! ♥ _

Donghyuk shuffled his music playlist and then tossed his phone onto a pile of towels and soaked for a while. Eyes shut and perfectly content as he tapped along to the beat. One of Hanbin’s songs came on and he laughed a little bit. It was surreal that he was currently lounging in BI’s bathtub, in a penthouse, as the BI was currently making music (about HIM). He opened his eyes and stood and decided it was time to go and work on leaving. He needed to get back to his real life before he got way too used to this. He tied a towel around his waist and went back into the bedroom to find his clothes. If he had more time he’d find Hanbin while he was damp and naked, but he wanted to give himself lots of time to get to the club. 

“I wonder…” Donghyuk mumbled to himself as he pulled on his shirt and walked through the hallway slowly. He hadn’t actually seen much of Hanbin’s penthouse besides the kitchen and bedroom. He looked at all the doors as he walked passed them, hoping to find one that had a hint of noise behind it. Failing to hear anything, he started opening doors slowly. After finding another washroom and two closets, he found the one that lead to Hanbin’s studio. Donghyuk walked up to the desk where Hanbin was leaned over, bobbing his head and tapping. He was scribbling notes in the most illegible writing Donghyuk had ever seen. He tapped Hanbin’s shoulder. 

“Oh,” Hanbin made a soft noise of acknowledgement and took off his headphones. “Hey.” 

“Hey,” Donghyuk smiled in reply to Hanbin’s endearing grin. “I need to head out.” 

“Oh, shit, right,” Hanbin said and stood and then took the headphones off his neck and turned fully. “The song isn’t really done enough to share yet…” 

“Then I’ll hear it next time,” Donghyuk said with a flirty little pose. 

“Yeah.” Hanbin smiled properly and then took Donghyuk’s hand for just a second before letting it go and walking out of the home studio. 

Donghyuk followed, Hanbin was going to the bedroom again where his wallet was. He took some cash out and held it out. 

Donghyuk hesitated for just a second before taking the money. He felt a powerful instinct to run as he realized he didn’t even want it. He didn’t want money, he wanted more of Hanbin’s time. He reached out and took it. “Thanks, baby.” 

Hanbin kissed him and Donghyuk gave his lip a bite before seeing himself out of the penthouse. He exhaled hard in the elevator, looking at his reflection in the ceiling. He had a sudden memory of the hotel room and grinned. He was still grinning at himself as the elevator stopped and someone else got in. 

“Hello,” 

Donghyuk looked down at the person who came in, Hanbin’s neighbour, the model. “Oh, hey. Headed to work?” 

“Yeah,” Yunhyeong smiled and nodded. “You too?” 

“Yeah.” Donghyuk smiled brightly and took a moment to enjoy how Yunhyeong blushed softly. “You should come sometime, to Zoria. I think you’d enjoy it.” 

“Hanbin mentioned that you don’t allow phones, so I’ve considered it.” 

Donghyuk wrinkled his nose at how cute Yunhyeong’s formal tone was. “You seem like the time who gets really wild when they finally relax.” 

Yunhyeong blushed properly and laughed a little. “I don’t know about that.” 

The elevator reached the lobby and the doors opened. Donghyuk took a few steps forward. “I’d love to see it.” 

“See?” 

“You go wild.” Donghyuk winked at Yunhyeong and then turned and waved goodbye. Leaving a blushing Yunhyeong alone in the elevator as it went down into the parking garage. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi~ sorry this was a longer wait than usual. I was able to get a second job so I've been working hard to learn it! I hope once I'm used to having two jobs I'll be able to get back into my writing routine! Thank you for waiting and enjoying this story TT I look forward to all your comments!


	15. Aspectabund

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aspectabund (adj) letting or being able to let expressive emotions show easily through one's face and eyes.

_ HB: There is an event tonight I want you to come to… are you free?  _

_ DK: Yeah I’m not working. What kind of event?  _

_ HB: Work thing, at a club.  _

_ DK: Oh, could be fun.  _

_ HB: I’ll pay you like a regular night. _

_ DK: Let’s just see how it goes first ;3  _

_ HB: Okay :)  _

_ HB: It starts tonight at 10 pm. I’ll send you the address in a sec.  _

_ DK: Sounds good!  _

Donghyuk was super excited to get invited to one of Happy Nihilist's parties. They had insane social media buzz, and you could become an influencer overnight if you managed to get an invite in. Donghyuk wasn’t really interested in becoming an influencer (his accounts were all private, a network of strippers to exchange outfit ideas and dance routines. He did have one public account he used just to keep his mom half updated on his life. It was mostly photos of coffee). He just liked the idea of being able to say he was even at one of these things. He needed to wash his hair from the night before (it was literally thick with hair product) and he still had some remnants of gold body paint. 

Jinhwan was out again, meeting with a patron of sorts who paid him just to keep him company rather than anything sexual. Jinhwan was a softie for the sincerely lonely who just wanted someone it sit in coffee shops with. Chanwoo was in his room, yelling orders into his headset, which could only mean he was leading another raid party. After his shower, he hung out with Chanwoo for a while until Jinhwan was back after supper. 

“I got invited to HNR party,” Donghyuk said as he sat on the bed and watched Jinhwan change. 

“You shit, no way!” Jinhwan turned. 

Donghyuk grinned. “I don’t even know what to wear like, I can’t go in thonged up and tiddies out can I?” 

“Probably not.” Jinhwan agreed. 

“What do I wear?” Donghyuk whined as he stood and walked over to start shuffling through his closet. “Do I just dress up like a street kid and hope they don’t notice I’m faking it?” 

“Didn’t I give you lessons on how to fake it?” Jinhwan teased with a little chuckle. 

Donghyuk laughed and picked out a t-shirt to try on. It took only about twenty minutes for him to find an outfit that he liked. His “baggiest” pair of jeans (they still hugged his thighs just not his butt), a long t-shirt and a grey denim jacket. He styled his hair off his forehead and went back to Jinhwan (who was in Chanwoo’s room after getting bored waiting for Donghyuk to go through all his ‘normal clothes’) for final inspection. Both roommates were on Chanwoo’s bed as Chanwoo was playing a console game for the first time in months. He couldn’t make money off of console games, so they were purely for pleasure. 

“Oh yes, nice and mainstream. They’ll never suspect you’re a flashy gay stripper.” Jinhwan nodded and sipped at his can of Redbull that he’d stolen from Chanwoo’s stash. 

Chanwoo reached over and smacked Jinhwan lightly and looked back at Donghyuk. “It’s a good look, you know, as much as I can judge that. Seeing as I have the dress sense of a highschooler.” 

“Thanks.” Donghyuk sighed and went over to take a long drink out of Chanwoo’s can of Redbull and watch him play until it was time to leave. He set an alarm and jumped off the bed when it went off. “I’ll be back tomorrow morning sometime probably.” 

“Have good sex!” Jinhwan said cheerfully as he waved. 

“I’ll do my best.” Donghyuk laughed and left the bedroom. 

Chanwoo waited for the external door to close before he spoke. “He actually really hates it when people know he’s a stripper.” 

“Really??” Jinhwan said with a sincere sense of surprise. “He’s never said anything to me about it?” 

“Yeah like, when he’s with you and at work he’s safe you know?” 

“Right.” Jinhwan agreed with a little nod. 

Chanwoo sighed and paused his game. “Donghyuk… he…” Chanwoo thought about it and looked at the ceiling. “He just… he has such a conscious sometimes.” 

“Yeah I know,” Jinhwan flopped down on one hand. “I do my best to make sure no one at work triggers it.” 

“I know, why else would he like you so much?” 

“Rude!” Jinhwan smacked Chanwoo roughly. “I happen to be charming and likable!” 

“Oh really? I thought he just liked you cause you suck dick.” Chanwoo grinned at Jinhwan playfully and Jinhwan shoved him again. 

Donghyuk listened to music and warmed his mood up for the evening. It would be really fun to go and party at a popular club. Since starting at Zoria, he’d lost the clubbing for fun scene. He wanted to see what Hanbin did at a place he could drink but had to keep his clothes on. He wanted to see if the producer was any different when he was surrounded by his colleagues and friends. 

Hanbin looked good tonight, relaxed in a casual but expensive looking outfit similar to Donghyuk’s. Donghyuk could see him as he waited at the coat check. He had that BI aura again, the way his face looked and even the way he was sitting on the leather coat felt more intense. He wanted to catch Hanbin’s gaze but he was too involved in the conversation with the man he was sitting beside. Hanbin really had an impressive amount of attractive friends. Donghyuk looked back to see what the delay was with the line and sighed. 

“Oh-” Hanbin said softly, looking away from Jaewon and over to the entrance of the club. 

Jaewon followed his gaze. “See someone interesting?” 

“Who I’m waiting for,” Hanbin said as he locked on Donghyuk. 

Jaewon saw Hanbin’s face light up with the new arrival. He sat up to get a better look. “Is that your date?” 

“DK.” 

“Oh really?” Jaewon understood immediately. “You guys taking it outside the bedroom these days huh?”

“Starting to, I think.” Hanbin shrugged. “I just wanted him here tonight.” 

“Fair.” Jaewon laughed softly. “It’ll be nice to have someone who actually knows how to dance at one of these things.” 

“Ha.” Hanbin drawled as he stood and went over to greet Donghyuk. 

Donghyuk finally dropped off his jacket and turned to try and find Hanbin again. He was happy to see him already walking towards him. He waved a little just before they were able to get beside each other. 

“Hey!” Donghyuk greeted cheerfully. 

“I’m glad you could make it,” Hanbin replied and held his hand for the briefest moment. 

Donghyuk smiled at him and then looked around. “Quite the party you put on.” 

“Let’s get some drinks and enjoy it.” Hanbin grinned charmingly and indicated the bar with his head before walking towards it. 

Donghyuk followed behind him closely, looking around and spotting a ton of artists and famous pretty people. He felt a little strange. He could be up on a stage and take off his clothes for everyone here without hesitation. But having to mingle and be their equal on the edge of his ability. Hanbin ordered two of the same drink and passed one to him as soon as they were ready. 

“Are you going to have any new music tonight?” Donghyuk asked with a smile. “Did you finish of the tracks about me?” 

“Oh an ego,” Hanbin teased with a happy smile. “Do you think you sound good enough to keep in my songs?”

“I know I do,” Donghyuk replied with a delightful grin. 

Hanbin introduced Donghyuk to a few people who came over to greet them. Donghyuk was happy that Hanbin didn’t give him any sort of title. It was just “This is Donghyuk,” and no one probed for more information. When the line was finally down to a normal size the music started properly. Donghyuk was dancing sort of, just small movements as he looked around and drank his third drink of the evening. Hanbin was talking to someone on the other side of him. 

“BI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

Both Donghyuk and Hanbin looked over at the sound of the DJ yelling for Hanbin’s attention. 

“I heard you’ve been practising your moves for tonight, how about you start this party up and show them off?” 

“Ah, Jesus.” Hanbin laughed and cursed softly and then drained his glass before accepting the pushes into the centre of the dance floor. 

Donghyuk cheered with the rest of the crowd as a new track started, Donghyuk saw the VIP section get suddenly crowded as they all walked over to the glass railing to watch the dance. Donghyuk mused it was probably fun for them to watch one of their colleagues be an idiot on the dance floor. Hanbin started with a vaguely awkward shoulder shuffle thing as he warmed up into the beat. He had the biggest goober smile he’d ever seen. Someone started chanting ‘TWERK’ from up in the VIP section and soon the whole crowd was doing it. Hanbin turned so his butt was facing the VIPS and did his best attempt at the move. Donghyuk snorted and clapped as he laughed. He liked seeing this goofy version of Hanbin. 

When he was done with the silliness, however, Hanbin turned on some kind of deep hidden charm. He started dancing in smooth, trained moves. The VIPs were eating it up with obnoxious catcalls. Hanbin looked over at Donghyuk finally and seemed to lock onto him. Donghyuk felt a strong wave of attraction. Hanbin moved smooth and slick to the beat, his mouth was open in a pleased smile, his tongue out in a deadly tease. He leaned far to one side and then rolled his body in a sinful wave. Donghyuk actually blushed and Hanbin was beyond pleased to notice it. He danced over to Donghyuk with his pleased smile still in place. 

“So, what you can’t dance without a pole?” 

“Oh, you think huh?” Donghyuk said, immediately taking Hanbin’s bait as he put his now empty glass on the table beside him and moved forward into the dancing. 

Donghyuk warmed himself up to the beat with a few shoulder movements and a chest pump before starting a slick freestyle. The crowd took notice and made a circle around him. At one point Donghyuk turned to the beat and wagged his finger just as he stopped for a second in front of Hanbin. He whipped back in a Michael Jackson style spin and the joyful hoots carried over the music. Hanbin couldn’t help but smile, he bit his tongue and laughed a little before jumping into the circle to dance again. 

Jaewon lost interest in watching the dancing as soon as Hanbin had finished showing off. He loved it when people made good on their talk. Hanbin had said to just wait and see what he could do. He did wonder when his boss had managed to learn such slick moves though. He went back to the couch and his drink and the fun talk that the other producers and rappers provided. 

“Jae,” 

Jaewon looked up as someone tapped his shoulder. He scooted over just enough for Bobby to sit down. He poured some of the bottle of rum into Jaewon’s cup. 

“What’s up?” 

“Who’s that dude that Hanbin brought?” 

“DK,” Jaewon said and took a long sip of his drink. “He hasn’t told you about him yet? I thought you guys were tight?” 

“No we’ve talked about him, guess he’s not what I expected.” Bobby stood up again. 

“What you expect him to show up naked or what?” Jaewon laughed and shook his head. 

Bobby went back and watched Hanbin down on the dance floor with DK. He honestly loved seeing Hanbin having a great time, his dancing had gotten much better. He was looser, he seemed like he was more relaxed. The side of Bobby’s mouth curled up in a wry smile. 

“What’s that look for?” 

Bobby looked over to see Chaerin walking towards him. She looked incredible tonight in a tight low cut black dress. “Hanbin,” 

Chaerin looked over the crowd and found Hanbin, she watched him dance and took a long sip of her bright green drink. “Looks like he’s enjoying himself.” 

“He’s got a date tonight,” Bobby said and pointed at the man with red-brown hair and an electric smile. 

Chaerin looked over her fashion glasses to study the man she didn’t recognize. “He’s cute.”

“Yeah, I guess you’d have to be in his line of work.” 

“Do you know him?” Chaerin asked and turned around to lean on the edge of the glass that surrounded the upper VIP level. 

“Not formally,” Bobby said with a little laugh. “Jae just told me his name is DK.” 

Chaerin looked over Bobby’s face for a while. “Should I be worried about them?” 

“Well, would it bother you if the news broke tomorrow Hanbin has been paying for the bodily services of a stripper?” Bobby looked at her. 

“What club?” Chaerin asked, her face blank and serious.

“Zoria.” 

She relaxed and took another drink. “I know it. Zoria is clean, no drugs or slave contracts. But you were right to be worried. Thanks.” 

“So it doesn’t bother you?”

“Everyone who works at Zoria  _ wants _ to. They don’t steal dancers off the street and force them to take dick. It’s all adults who want to dance naked for money. So no, it doesn’t bother me. Who am I to shade a perfectly legitimate business?” Chaerin shrugged. “Get another drink and try to enjoy yourself. You’re kind of a downer tonight.” 

Chaerin left Bobby at the bar and went to her new assistant. She was a fresh out of business school graduate named Hayi, she was gorgeous and smart (book smart and street smart) and exactly what Chaerin needed. She pulled her in close. “Can you get me in touch with the manager at Zoria?” Hayi nodded and went down the stairs to head to the back office for some quiet as she opened her tablet. 

Bobby did take Chae’s suggestion to go and get another drink. On his way he paused to watch the two of them dance to the new tracks. Hanbin’s expression was bright and enthusiastic. The stripper dancing with him looked dangerous somehow like he knew secrets that could get them all into trouble. He went to the bar and got a drink and leaned on the bar casually to watch the dancing and hyped attendees as they got to dance with their favourite producers. These club events really were fantastic PR. By the time Bobby had finished his drink, it seemed like Hanbin and his date were ready for a break. Bobby watched them find a table before he went over. 

“Hey, what’s up.” Bobby greeted with a little smile. 

“Hey man.” Hanbin greeted with a familiar handshake before looking over at his dance partner. “Do you know him?” Hanbin pointed at Bobby with a little grin and a nod of his head. 

“Yeah of course,” DK replied with an easy smile. “B-O-Double B-Y” 

Bobby laughed a little at his old way of dropping his name in his raps that almost made him cringe. “You’re an OG fan then.” 

“He’s a bit of a company fan as it turns out.” Hanbin laughed and looked at Donghyuk with affection.  

“This is the stripper you can’t get enough of huh?” Bobby looked Donghyuk over, his gaze wasn’t wholly rude but it gave Donghyuk an awkward feeling. 

Hanbin looked at Bobby with blatant annoyance. “This is Donghyuk, my date tonight. I’m glad you’ve made such a great first impression.” 

Donghyuk put his hand on Hanbin’s arm. “I’m just going to go get another drink.” 

Hanbin nodded and went to take out some money. 

“I got it.” Donghyuk smiled thinly, looked at Bobby with a look neither rapper could really decipher and then went to the bar. 

Hanbin looked at Bobby with stern disapproval. Bobby returned the look. 

“It doesn’t make any sense for you to treat him like that,” Hanbin said after a second. 

“You brought a sex worker to a club event but I’m the one lacking sense?” 

Hanbin stretched out his bottom lip as he fought the instinct to snarl. He got off the chair and gave Bobby the most scathing look he could manage until he had to look away to keep walking. He walked over and put a hand on Donghyuk’s hip gently. Donghyuk turned money for his drink in hand. 

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin said as he looked directly into Donghyuk’s eyes. 

“Eh, it comes with the territory,” Donghyuk said and turned back to try and flag down a bartender after a few tries he gave up and turned back to look at Hanbin. 

“Do you want to leave?” Hanbin asked as he looked at Donghyuk intently again. 

“Yeah, I think so,” Donghyuk said with a shrug. “I’ll go get my jacket.” 

Hanbin sighed as Donghyuk made his way through the crowd. He followed behind and waited in the corner for Donghyuk to come over, putting his jacket on. Hanbin didn’t bother even bringing a jacket, his car wasn’t that far away. 

“Did you want to stop anywhere on the way?” Hanbin asked, hoping that he could cheer Donghyuk up somehow. 

“I might just go home if that’s okay,” Donghyuk said with a gentle smile. He hated the idea of turning away Hanbin, good sex aside, he was a very loyal patron at this point. But he was just bummed and wanted to go home and cuddle with his roommates.  

Hanbin cursed at Bobby mentally for making Donghyuk feel uncomfortable. He reached forward and put his hands gently at the base of Donghyuk’s neck, his thumbs touching Donghyuk’s jaw affectionately. 

“Boss man, you headed out?” someone asked as they passed the pair of them, Donghyuk could see cigarettes already in their mouths ready to light. 

“Yeah man, think I am,” Hanbin said without looking away from Donghyuk. “Can I leave with you then?” 

“Shouldn’t you stay at your own event?” 

Hanbin dragged his tongue along Donghyuk’s neck, his fists tightly gripping Donghyuk’s jacket. “Are you sure I can’t change your mind?” 

Donghyuk gripped Hanbin’s biceps and groaned softly. “You just might if you keep that up.” 

Hanbin smiled and then added some teeth to his teasing of Donghyuk’s neck. Donghyuk made a soft noise and then pushed him slightly. “Alright, I’m convinced.” 

Hanbin laughed softly in victory and then lead Donghyuk out of the club. 

“Goodnight bossman!” 

Hanbin waved over his shoulder as he lead Donghyuk to his car. 

“Bossman?” Donghyuk laughed a little. “Is that a running joke or?” 

“No I’m… the CEO.” Hanbin said with a nervous chew of his lip. “Co-CEO. I run HNR with Chaerin.” 

Donghyuk stopped walking for a second as he processed. Hanbin being BI was one thing, but a CEO? Of a huge music company? Suddenly he remembered the trip he’d taken with Hanbin, and the memory of Hanbin going to the coast city for meetings. “Oh… right. I don’t know how I didn’t make the connection before.” 

Hanbin turned and looked at Donghyuk as the stripper processed the information. “I don’t like people knowing.” 

“Why?” 

“Cause people treat me differently.” Hanbin shrugged and unlocked his car. 

Donghyuk let out a soft exhale. “I understand completely.” 

Hanbin smiled warmly at him as he opened his door. “Let’s go.” 

Donghyuk nodded and got into Hanbin’s car. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 15! This chapter was hard to get started, so sorry if it feels a little choppy, hopefully, I'll be able to go back and edit it soon. For now, I just don't want to keep you guys waiting forever. :)


	16. Fanaa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fanaa (n) destruction of the self; destroyed in love

Hanbin fell asleep to the feeling of Donghyuk’s naked body pressed against him. Both of them had worked up a sweat as they sought their mutual pleasure together. Donghyuk didn’t show any of whatever negative feelings he felt at the club. Donghyuk’s sleep wasn’t that restful and he was already awake when he felt Hanbin move. Donghyuk rolled over and grabbed Hanbin by the hips. Hanbin turned, erasing all progress he had made getting out of bed. 

“Stay,” Donghyuk whined softly and started nuzzling his nose into his neck.

“The studio~” Hanbin replied in a little whine 

“Music can wait for a little while more.” Donghyuk smiled and his warm hands were sending goosebumps up Hanbin’s skin as he dragged them over him lazily. Donghyuk’s hot mouth was sloppily leaving kisses up and down Hanbin’s neck, the stripper was still mostly asleep and his tongue not as clever as usual. Hanbin found himself painfully aroused by the messy affection. 

Donghyuk made a little whiny noise as he buried his face under Hanbin’s arm. Hanbin turned and pulled Donghyuk against him, chest to chest. Donghyuk was brilliantly hard, Hanbin flushed with the realization as he gently pressed his hips against Donghyuk’s. 

“I’m all yours,” Hanbin said softly and smiled a little. 

Donghyuk grinned and buried his face into Hanbin’s neck and writhed against him, his hands slipped down to affectionately tease Hanbin’s ass. Hanbin licked his lips and let out a little noise that seemed to be the release that Donghyuk was looking for. His mouth was back on his neck and his hands slipped around to Hanbin’s front side again to tease his hips before fondling his erection. 

“How about I earn my keep huh?” Donghyuk smiled and then bit Hanbin’s chin gently. 

Hanbin let out a pleased sort of laugh as he looked up and offered all his neck to Donghyuk. Donghyuk was quick to oblige, putting his mouth back on Hanbin’s gorgeous neck and getting himself more and more worked up as he gently writhed against him. 

“I thought you earned your keep last night?” 

“Nah I can do way better,” Donghyuk replied with a playful giggle and then rolled over Hanbin properly to lick and bite as he pulled Hanbin’s hair a little. Donghyuk shifted Hanbin’s leg’s expertly and positioned himself to reach down and align himself before thrusting in. 

“Mmfuck yes,” Hanbin sighed euphorically and arched his back up in response to the pleasure. 

Donghyuk continued to abuse Hanbin’s neck with his mouth until his pace picked up and he had to focus just on keeping his breath. Hanbin stroked himself and cried out in hysteric joy as he felt his climax draw nearer. Donghyuk’s face was intense as always, so focused and passionate. So locked in on him. Hanbin felt exposed and comforted all at once. 

Hanbin felt the ghosts of Donghyuk’s affections on his skin even after he’d dropped Donghyuk off and went to work. He looked at the building and wondered what kind of shit he’d have to deal with today. He felt like someone would have something to say about his date last night, and he wanted to be more optimistic about it being positive feedback. He opened his door and shuffled into the building. He realized he didn’t really want to go up or down. He wanted to just go home. He hit the down call button for the elevator and started chewing his lips. 

His unease didn’t lessen as he went to make himself a coffee. Somehow he felt like he was about to be discovered and yelled at any second. It’d been a long time since he felt such poignet anxiety. He made his coffee and tried to focus on relaxing breathing. 

“Morning Binnie.” 

Hanbin turned in a jolt and gave Bobby a nod and nothing else. He put his hands by his sides, unable to focus on the simple coffee process now that irritation had joined his anxiety. He heard Bobby sigh. 

“Are you mad at me?” 

“Yes,” Hanbin said and turned to face Bobby with a thoroughly grumpy expression. 

Bobby walked over and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge but set it down on the counter and crossed his arms. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s not me you need to apologize to,” Hanbin said firmly.

“C’ mon. Bossman” 

“Don’t call me that,” Hanbin said with an annoyed wave. “It’s not going to be me in a few weeks.” 

“What does that mean?” Bobby looked at Hanbin like he’d just hit him. 

“I’m selling my shares, I’ll be off the board. I won’t be anyone’s boss. I’ll just write music like I’ve always wanted to without any of the fucking circus.” 

“You’ve got a lot going on, you have for a while but I don’t think it’s smart to make this choice while you aren’t really thinking straight.” 

“Not thinking straight?” 

“You really think it’s not a mistake to throw away all that money?” 

“Like somehow I’m fucking up my life if I’m a millionaire with a few less millions?” Hanbin sneered. 

“What are you going to do when you can’t afford your prostitute every day of the week? Hope he likes you for your personality?” 

Hanbin shoved Bobby roughly. “What the fuck is your problem with my sex life? If you wanted a piece you’ve had years to make a move.”

“Why do I have to want in your pants to care about you?” Bobby shouted back. “It’s bullshit Hanbin.” 

“How is making me feel like shit for wanting my life to suit me caring about me?”

“Because three months ago the only thing you wanted for your life was it to end,” Bobby said, his expression fierce and intense. “Do you know how many times Yunhyeong called me, terrified because he found you passed out in the shower or outside your house? Now you want us to just pretend you’re fine because you’re paying someone to have sex with you?” 

“I want you to believe me when I say I’m fine instead of treating me like some incompetent child!” Hanbin snarled in reply. 

“Hanbin, you’re the most selfish fucking asshole I’ve ever known. You’ll leave Chae alone to run your company, you push away everyone who doesn’t pander to you.” Bobby shook his head. “I’m no saint, and we’ve had our fights, but if you don’t smarten up and start realizing how your actions affect everyone else around you-” Bobby motioned around the room broadly. “You think Jae doesn’t know you hide in his studio when you should be up there talking about his next album release?” 

Hanbin felt a bitter sort of anger raise up inside him, he was immediately drowning in the thick, lava-like feeling of shame. “So you think I can’t have a relationship with a stripper because… I’m a selfish asshole.” 

“Okay, Hanbin.” Bobby held his face for a second. “Listen, okay. I overstepped with the stripper shit.” 

“Thank you,” Hanbin said with a tight jaw. 

“But you gotta stop acting like you think everything is perfect now.” Bobby released his face and his expression softened. “None of us believe it, fuck I know you don’t really believe it either.” 

Hanbin felt his anger relax a little, he looked at Bobby for a few moments more. “What’s so wrong with pretending I’m fine?” 

“Because, Hanbin the type of pretending you’re doing now is just so you don’t have to deal with anything,” Bobby said gently. “It kills me to watch you just bury yourself in shitty coping mechanisms.” 

“Donghyuk isn’t a shitty coping mechanism,” Hanbin said firmly. 

“Hanbin, you pay a stripper for sex,” Bobby said and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s a bandaid at best.” 

“So what, if he’ll fuck me without getting paid you’ll let this shit go?” Hanbin put his hands in his pockets and looked at Bobby intently. 

“Sure man,” Bobby shrugged and then sighed. “We could start there.” 

“Alright.” Hanbin nodded and knew now what he wanted to do. 

~*~

Jinhwan met Donghyuk for a meal before they headed to work. Jinhwan always had the most fun catching Donghyuk up on the little bits of gossip and drama he got from working with the newbies. Donghyuk sometimes wished he was as connected to social media as Jinhwan. Jinhwan was always the first to know anything. 

“So how was your night anyway? I expected you to come home buzzing.” Jinhwan looked at Donghyuk as he ate a fry off of his roommate’s plate. 

“It was alright,” Donghyuk shrugged.

“Oh, was it that bad?” Jinhwan laughed a little. “Private parties aren’t shit after all, huh?” 

“It was cool for a while but,” Donghyuk sighed, feeling stupid for being bummed. “I met one of my favourite rappers, he just wasn’t what I expected.”

“It’s interesting how much real life can disappoint you,” Jinhwan said with a little smile and patted Donghyuk’s hand affectionately. “That’s why people like us so much you know?” 

“Hmm?”

“Because we’ll never disappoint them. We smile and flirt and make them happy and forget how miserable real life is for a little while.” 

“So where do we go to take a break from how miserable real life is?” Donghyuk asked and propped his chin with a hand. 

“Our bedroom of course.” Jinhwan leaned over and grinned dangerously. “Tell me you’re worried about bills and the sorrows of existence when my mouth is on your dick.” 

Donghyuk leaned forward and looked at Jinhwan’s mouth. “Mmm, I guess you have a point.” 

Jinhwan made a kissy face at him and then leaned forward to kiss him quickly before getting out of the restaurant booth. “You’re paying, let’s go get some boba.” 

“I’m not your purse!” Donghyuk protested as he stood and put money down on the table. 

Jinhwan waved at him over his shoulder and happily kept walking as Donghyuk whined and walked after him. When Donghyuk caught up to him, Jinhwan wrapped an arm around Donghyuk’s and smiled broadly. Donghyuk shook his head and sighed as they made their way to their favourite boba shop. 

Zoria was always the most exciting to the dancers before the doors were even open. When they were trying on outfits and working on new sets and everyone was there to cat call and hype each other. Tonight was a subtle kind of themed night, everyone paired off into similar outfits. There were nurses and doctors, priests and nuns, and Jinhwan and Donghyuk’s choice - cowboys. Donghyuk wore some assless chaps and leather straps to frame his pecs. Jinhwan tied a plaid shirt up high on his torso in a crop top and cut off denim shorts that left most of his ass hanging out.  

Donghyuk enjoyed the excessive titty fondling he experienced from the other dances. He did a shot with some of the newbies and slapped some butts as they went out about half an hour after the club was opened. His first tip of the night came from an on the spot dance duet with Jinhwan when a song they knew the choreography to came on. (It was the booty shaking with Donghyuk’s chaps that really seemed to work for most of the crowd). Jinhwan was scooped up right away for a private dance. Donghyuk worked a few tables and got some tips for a few slut drops or twerking. 

He was at the bar hydrating when he saw Hanbin come in. He felt a wave of frustration suddenly. Bobby’s comments were easy enough for Hanbin to ignore and flirt away. The producer still got his night of sex. He wasn’t sure where the bitterness was coming from, Hanbin had been nothing but sweet to him. Maybe it was just because Hanbin got to walk into his world all the time and no one ever made him feel like shit, but the first time Donghyuk walked into his he had his profession thrown out like an insult. Hanbin didn’t seem to notice him, he went straight up to his usual booth without scanning the floor. Donghyuk drank what was left of his water and went backstage to rest before his turn on the stage. 

Donghyuk’s expression was bright and lively as it always was on stage. He always felt the best during a routine. He embraced his costume and had a mini line dance break down in the middle of his set that was very well received, only adding to his euphoria. He did notice that Hanbin didn’t come down to the stage side to watch him. Donghyuk finished with his favourite aerials and landed with his tongue out just to tease. He collected his money and accepted a few offers for private dances. If Hanbin wanted attention tonight, he was just going to have to wait.  

Hanbin was watching Donghyuk, but unable to convince himself to go down and talk to him. All he wanted to do was talk to him, he didn’t want sex or even a dance. He just wanted to talk to him like a regular person. The producer had a bit of a war going on inside of his head now. He should be able to just go down and talk to Donghyuk, but of course, he couldn’t. Donghyuk was working and Hanbin just like anyone else was a potential client. The frailty of their relationship suddenly made sense to Hanbin. He felt an awful twist in his stomach as he realized that Bobby had a point. 

He stood and decided to go down to the floor. He sat down at a table, too nervous to go further somehow. He thought that he should leave and just text Donghyuk later. He didn’t even need to come here anymore. He wasn't like these people at all. He knew Donghyuk’s real name, he had his phone number. 

And yet any one of them could be the next exception. 

“Hey!” 

Hanbin jumped and looked at the pink-haired stripper who had greeted him cheerfully. 

“I know you’re waiting for someone special,” 

Hanbin nodded, he remembered the stripper’s name as Nani. A stage name of course. “Could you tell him I was here?” 

“You’re not staying?” Nani pouted and tilted his head. “Why not? Bored? Too loud?” 

“I just want to talk to him.” 

“You don’t pay him to talk do you?” Nani teased with a little laugh. “He’s way too good in bed for that.” 

Hanbin laughed but felt an increase in his anxiety. Of course, Donghyuk had slept with other people, Hanbin was a complete stranger when they’d had sex. So why did it hit him like this to hear it from someone else? A person who had sex with strangers for money was obviously going to have people he had sex with for free. 

“You’ve had sex with him?” 

Nani looked at Hanbin with a complicated sort of look, he was still smiling warmly but his eyes seemed to look him over with concern. “I’ll let him know you’re looking for him.” 

Nani waved at him cutely and waved at another table before heading backstage. Hanbin felt himself blush with shame and his hands curled into fists.

Donghyuk was changing out of his chaps when Jinhwan got backstage. He was sweating too much and he’d reached the point he couldn’t ignore his discomfort. He turned when Jinhwan walked up to him. “Hey, sorry to break up our couple costume.” 

“Your John is here,” Jinhwan said and sat down on Donghyuk’s stool. “I talked to him but I think I shouldn’t have.” 

“Why? What did he say?” Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan intently. 

“He asked if I had sex with you.” Jinhwan looked at Donghyuk apologetically. “I was teasing him and I think I upset him. I’m sorry.” 

Donghyuk exhaled and chewed at his lip a little. He looked at Jinhwan. “He has no right to get upset at people I’ve had sex with, that’s petty shit I want nothing to do with.” 

“He wants to talk to you,” Jinhwan said, still feeling apologetic. 

“Alright, I’ll just text him.” Donghyuk shrugged and went to get his phone. He looked at Jinhwan and tried to smile. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“I’m sorry if this makes it awkward between you too, I know you like him.” 

“He’s just a John,” Donghyuk said with a little laugh even as his chest clouded with hot emotion. He felt his hands shake a little and walked a little just to try and hide it from Jinhwan. “There, we’ll meet after work as usual as soon as he sees his message. Come on, we still have an hour to make some money.” Donghyuk held out his hand for Jinhwan to take.

Jinhwan nodded and stood, feeling comforted by Donghyuk’s smile and the warmth of his skin. 

~*~

Donghyuk was back into his comfortable street clothes. A baggy sweater and black skinny leg pants. Hanbin wanted to wrap himself up in him and feel comfort again. Instead, he felt a burning in his chest. He felt the weight of Bobby’s criticisms and everything they made him realize. He wanted to prove them all wrong. He could prove them all wrong right here. He was crippled with the need to hear Donghyuk prove them all wrong too. He parked just down from Donghyuk, so he’d have enough time to get out of the car before he automatically got in. 

“What’s up?” Donghyuk asked with a slight tilt of his head. 

“Before we go I wanted…” Hanbin felt anxiety heavy and thick on his lungs and tongue. “You like me don’t you?” 

“Of course I like you,” Donghyuk laughed a little and kept his head tilted as his eyebrows pulled together slightly. “Why do you ask?” 

“I was just wondering… how… when… this stopped being a charade.” 

Donghyuk felt a hard and nasty knot form in his stomach. He tried to laugh through it. “I think we talk too much for it to be charades.” 

Hanbin’s face tightened with annoyance. “You’re always saying too much money makes you uncomfortable, and you want less and less of it. Am I wrong to assume you just like my company?” 

"Of course I like your company,” Donghyuk said with a little frown. 

“So then...I guess. I don’t know why we still need to do this… routine with the sex and then payment.” 

“I’m a stripper, my services are body-based but they’re still services that I get paid to perform.” Donghyuk looked at Hanbin sharply. “I can’t pay my rent without them.” 

“But… what if I made it so you didn’t have to offer those services anymore?”

“I take my clothes off for a living, it works because I have a body that people like looking at, and I like being looked at. I like it when pretty boys want to take me home because I like having sex with pretty boys. I’m not doing this because I’ve been forced into it by the evils of my life. I choose to do it because _ I love it _ .” Donghyuk’s eyes were burning with passion and Hanbin couldn’t bring himself to hold a gaze with them. “I’m not here to be rescued.”

“I don’t want to rescue you, I want to love you.” 

Donghyuk tilted his head as a brutal wave of hurt wracked him, he couldn’t take a breath. “I didn’t realize… you…couldn’t...” he exhaled. “Well, it's good to know how you feel.” He turned.

“Are you going home to your boyfriend?” Hanbin asked, his chest was tight like he hadn’t taken a breath in a minute, he remembered the smiling stripper, Nani. He imagined Donghyuk going home and being comforted by that smiling mouth all over his skin. Skin that Hanbin had already explored with his own mouth. It was painful, everything he thought brought him pain. 

Donghyuk stopped and took a few moments to process what Hanbin had asked. “What?” 

“Your boyfriend, Nani.” 

“Why are you asking that?” Donghyuk turned his head and looked at Hanbin with furrowed eyebrows. 

Hanbin licked his lips, his whole body shaking now as he was overwhelmed with painful realization. Donghyuk was never his. It had all been a relationship for profit. 

“You’re not denying it,” Hanbin said and his whole body felt heavy. 

“Hanbin, you pay me for sex,” Donghyuk furrowed his brow a little. “When I’m with you my body is yours, but you don’t own my life.” 

Hanbin couldn’t process anything other than he needed to leave. He took a step backwards before turning sharply. He felt like he was on some kind of autopilot as he got back into his car. He hadn’t smoked since he was a teenager but now felt like he needed to. He chewed on his fingers as he drove back to the studio. He was pretty sure he ran at least one red light. He got out of his car and his heart was racing like he’d just avoided a dangerous accident. His blood felt like it had been carbonated. It got worse the closer he closer to familiar safe spaces. Like he’d been slowly peeling and was now exposed and raw to the world. He didn’t even remember parking, just fumbling for the elevator call button. 

He went on autopilot to the lounge and sat for a few minutes, stewing in his own emotional hysteria of how fucked up everything had managed to become. 

“Bin?” Bobby was holding his phone like he’d been waiting for a text message, or maybe about to send on. “Where did you go?” 

“You were right,” Hanbin said and stood and tried to pretend like he was going to make himself a drink but once he’d started pacing he couldn’t stop. His breathing was too intense. He felt like he’d started falling down some steep cliff. 

“About what?” Bobby asked, he wanted to keep some distance between him and Hanbin given he seemed to spark some rage in his friend, but also wanted to be closer to comfort him. 

“You were right okay!” Hanbin snarled and punched the wall before turning and looking at Bobby with angry tears. “He was fucking using me and I fucking fell for it and you were fucking right.” 

“Hanbin-” 

“You wanted this,” Hanbin said thickly, his voice getting stuck on a sob. “Well now… here it is” Hanbin let the sob out and gripped the first thing he could reach, his phone. He threw it and Bobby hopped a little to dodge it before it hit the wall behind him and shattered. “Fuck,” Hanbin held his face and yelled, a raw and guttural noise tearing at his throat. 

Bobby looked around as people popped their heads out to investigate the noise. He hesitated for just a second before going over to Hanbin and putting a hand on his back. “I’ll take you home, come on.” 

“Is he drunk?” Jaewon started to rush over, his face heavy with worry. 

Bobby held a hand out and shook his head as Jae got close. “Nah it’s just… I think we should take him home.” 

Jaewon nodded and went over to Hanbin and put an arm around his shoulders. He spoke gently to him but Bobby couldn’t really hear what he was saying. Jaewon was always better at talking to Hanbin than he was. Hanbin started shuffling forward and Bobby exhaled and walked after them. 


	17. Nazlanmak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nazlanmak (v): pretending reluctance or indifference when you are actually willing or eager.

Sitting alone in the subway, Donghyuk chewed his fingers and thought about the conversation with Hanbin. Maybe he was too honest, he should have held onto the fantasy a little longer. He switched to chewing on his lips as he felt his chest start to fill with painful heaviness. He wanted the fantasy to last longer. He wanted to keep on seeing the producer with his clingy affection. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and it set everything in motion. He hugged his backpack and hoped he wasn’t crying loud enough for some stranger to tell him off or try to comfort him. 

Jinhwan was in the shower when Donghyuk got home, Chanwoo didn’t come out to greet him either not expecting him to come home at all. Donghyuk stripped down to his boxers and poured himself some wine. Chanwoo heard the shower running and Donghyuk’s door at the same time and had to go out to check what was going on. He confirmed the shower was still running before poking his head inside Donghyuk’s room. Donghyuk was crying by himself, holding a glass of wine but not touching it. Chanwoo went in without saying anything and sat on the bed beside him. Donghyuk looked over at him and nodded slightly, his throat was still tight with tears. 

“What’s up?” Chanwoo asked softly, he rubbed Donghyuk’s knee affectionately. 

“Just accepting that I’m a piece of shit.” Donghyuk laughed a little and finally took a drink of his wine, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Chanwoo more than a second. “It’s a hard… lesson I guess.” 

Chanwoo hadn’t heard Donghyuk talk about himself like that in years. It took him a few moments to calibrate and figure out what had changed. “Hanbin?” 

Donghyuk nodded and wiped at his eyes as he felt more tears leak out. “I really like him, you know?” 

“I know.” Chanwoo got off the bed and brought the tissues from Donghyuk’s dresser over beside him. “What happened? What did he say.” 

“It’s just…” Donghyuk took a tissue as his voice broke with a sob. “I’m a stripper you know? And I like it. I really love my job.” Donghyuk exhaled and dabbed at his eyes. “And for some fucked up reason, that makes me an unlovable piece of shit.” 

“What’s wrong with being a stripper?” Chanwoo said and hit Donghyuk’s arm gently. “What’s wrong with sex and sexual attraction? You’re making money off of human nature to want to see attractive people being sexy. Anyone who wants to shame that is just being a self-righteous piece of shit.” 

Donghyuk laughed a little and sniffed. He looked over at Chanwoo and smiled a little. “Yeah, you have a point.” 

Chanwoo wrapped his arm around Donghyuk and pulled him in for a comforting squeeze. “But it still sucks now huh?” 

“Yeah, it does.” Donghyuk laughed and cuddled in properly. “It really does.” 

The door opened just a touch more and Jinhwan stepped in, hair dripping. It took him mere seconds to register what had probably happened. Gravity seemed to pull him down a little more than usual. 

“Oh no,” he said softly and got into bed and curled up against Donghyuk affectionately. 

Donghyuk exhaled with difficulty, Jinhwan’s soft eyes seemed to cut through his emotional strength. Donghyuk wiped his eyes, trying to keep tears in. “I kept saying it was just business and I would be an idiot to think it could be real but it was real and now it’s just over and I don’t know what to do about that.” 

“Aw babe,” Jinhwan leaned over and wrapped Donghyuk up in a hug as he felt himself start to cry too.

“I fucked it up, it’s all my fault.” Donghyuk cried and gripped Jinhwan tightly. “If I had just…”

“Baby, don’t you ever think that you’re the only reason this turned out the way this did.” Jinhwan held him tighter. “You made a choice. He was never going to respect you, he made that clear. That’s not your fault.” 

Donghyuk nodded into Jinhwan’s chest as Chanwoo leaned against him from the other side. 

“You’re worth so much more than him,” Jinhwan whispered and kissed Donghyuk’s temple firmly. 

It was no surprise that in the morning, Donghyuk was out early for a run. It was his longest run in a while. He stopped to cough as his lungs protested. He just pushed himself more. No matter the burn or how his muscles cried for a break he couldn’t shake the heaviness of his emotions. He couldn’t stand how impossible it was to process what was surely the end of his business with Hanbin. He pushed himself until he nearly collapsed and had to take a break holding onto a railing. 

“Fuck.” he exhaled and shut his eyes, focusing on his breathing to calm his screaming heart and lungs. He pressed his forehead into the back of his hands and gently rocked and stretched out his calves. He stood and shook out his legs as he looked around and registered just how far he had managed to run. He walked a little bit, waiting for his body to go back to normal stats. The run was a bust, he still felt the heaviness in his chest. He wiped his forehead and started to jog back to the apartment. 

“God, were you on a run that whole time?” Chanwoo was on the couch watching an anime when Donghyuk managed to return home. 

“Yeah,” Donghyuk said and pulled his shirt off after kicking off his shoes. He walked forward passed Chanwoo and turned into the bathroom to turn on the shower. 

“Do you want me to cook something for you?” Chanwoo got off the couch and walked towards the bathroom. 

“I’ll be alright, thanks.” Donghyuk smiled and shut the door before getting into the shower. The hot water felt amazing, and Donghyuk finally felt some relief from his tension and heavy chest feeling. A sulk, a run, a long shower. He’d be alright. 

~*~

Hayi learned within her first week that she was never going to beat her boss to work. No matter if she arrived at 8 or at 7, Chaerin was already in her office with a coffee ready for both of them. Hayi liked that a lot about her boss. She always treated everyone with a hint of maternal affection. 

“Good morning,” Chaerin said as she moved her notes away and focused on what Hayi had for her. 

“Good morning,” Hayi replied with a smile as she set her tablet aside and opened up her clipboard. 

“What's on the menu for today my dear?” 

“Weekly board meeting, a few contracts resign meetings, um, you have a conference call with our potential partner label at 3,” 

“Fantastic.” Chaerin sipped her coffee. 

“And I was able to get a hold of the manager of Zoria.” 

Chaerin set her coffee down and folded her fingers together to look at Hayi with her chin resting on them. “Did he release any information about the dancer?” 

“It took a little sweet talk, but he did confirm that a Kim Donghyuk aka DK worked for him.” 

“Any contract?” 

“No, he said they just employ the dancers until they don’t want to dance anymore,” Hayi said with a little tilt of her head. It didn’t seem that awful at all given what she expected. 

Chaerin was silent for a while as she looked at the papers in front of Hayi as if she was hoping for more information to pop out of them. She sighed a little and took another drink of coffee before she spoke. “So we need to go talk to this dancer directly then.” 

“Can I ask, ma’am, why you’re so interested in this exotic dancer?” Hayi asked softly.

“Because I hate bad press,” Chaerin said sternly. “Hanbin hates press period. Do you really think he’s managed to hide his face from the media all by himself all these years? It’s been me, doing shit like this, keeping him from shitstorms.” 

“So you’ve bought off strippers before?” 

“Not for Hanbin, but yes. I’m a ringleader, overlooking all the freaks in my circus.” 

“That’s a bit harsh.” 

“We all have our vices and sins, not a single human alive can escape the dark parts of themselves.” Chaerin shrugged and held up her cigarette before she lit it as proof of her own bad habits. “But we sell fantasies to the public, don’t we? I like to keep those fantasies profitable.” 

“I understand,” Hayi said with a nod. 

“I knew you would,” Chaerin said with a little proud smile. “So tonight, let’s go talk to this stripper.” 

~*~

Hanbin woke up and immediately felt regret. He wished he was hungover instead, it’d be less embarrassing. He groaned and put his feet on the floor. He was still fully dressed from yesterday. He knew he should shower but couldn’t be bothered. He just put on a new sweater and then went out into his kitchen. He needed coffee. A normal start to a normal day. If he followed routine he’d maybe be able to get through it. 

“Morning bossman.” Jaewon’s voice made Hanbin flinch. He looked over and saw his friend stretching his arms. “I crashed here last night, I didn’t know if you’d need anything during the night so… it just seemed like the thing to do.” 

“Shit,” Hanbin cursed softly as Jaewon got off the couch. He took another coffee mug down out of the cupboard.

The air was heavy and thick in Hanbin’s lungs. It took three times as much work to breathe as it usually did. He focused on making coffee and urging his lungs to get accommodated to the way every breath seemed to get stuck in them. Jaewon took up such a small space of Hanbin’s mental space he almost forgot he was there until he was holding two coffees and recalled him. 

“Thanks,” Jaewon said softly and Hanbin sat down beside him. The air was thinning, the stickiness reduced to something more manageable. Like the residue of syrup on one’s fingers. 

Hanbin focused on coffee now, the smell and colour. He took a sip and let it sit in his mouth. Drawing out the experience, breaking it down into parts and giving his brain something to smooth out its functions on. It was silent, just the movement of air and coffee that kept it all from getting too suffocating. 

“I need to go to work,” Hanbin said after a short while. 

“I’m sure you could take a day, man,” Jaewon said softly. 

“No, I need to go to work,” Hanbin said firmly. If he stayed here he’d go crazy. 

“I think you should take a day man,” Jaewon repeated softly. “I’ll take the day with you if that makes it easier for you.” 

“The longer I wait to go back in the worse it’ll be,” Hanbin said and chewed at his lip, he got off his stool and went to put on his shoes. 

Jaewon watched Hanbin walk, knowing he was still wearing his clothes from yesterday. Knowing he needed to take a second and process whatever sent him spiralling yesterday. Jaewon wished they were closer, strangely their friendship seemed shallow. Hanbin opened up to him, but last night Jaewon realized how completely he lacked depth of understanding. Hanbin was more than just a sensitive, affectionate, lonely man. He was in pain from something, he was fighting something and now it felt like he wasn’t winning. Jaewon looked at their coffees, still steaming. 

“Do you have travel mugs?” he called and stood to go to the cupboards. 

Jaewon drove them to HNR. He spoke softly, as usual, filling the air better than radio or silence. Hanbin felt grateful to him as much as he felt guilt. Jaewon was an employee, he shouldn’t have seen him like that last night. 

“Jae…” Hanbin exhaled as Jaewon parked the car. Hanbin saw his own car left overnight in the CEO spot. 

“Hm?” 

“I’m sorry,” Hanbin looked back at Jaewon and chewed his lip again. 

Jaewon smiled at him. Empathy radiating from him. “Hey, don’t worry about it. We’ve seen each other in worse shape huh?” 

Hanbin’s mouth twitched up into a smile. Drunk embarrassment was better than what he felt now. But he still agreed. 

Hanbin looked at the elevator call buttons intently. Jaewon pressed the down button and looked over at Hanbin who finally pressed the up. 

“I should talk to Chae,” Hanbin said softly. 

“Yeah good plan,” Jaewon said, quietly hoping that Hanbin would ask for some time off. 

Jaewon went down first, Hanbin waited for the other elevator to open. He felt an odd sense of calm. Enough was enough. He’d sell his shares. He’d go and make music. He’d refocus. 

Chaerin was a pretty unflappable person, it was a tool she used often to intimidate and save face. But when Hanbin turned up knocking at her door she couldn’t help how her eyes widened. 

“Hey,” Hanbin said and walked to sit in the free chair. 

“It’s good to see you,” Chaerin said and immediately started rearranging her desk to clear it for this sudden meeting. 

“I wanted to know how far you got with the board, with my shares,” Hanbin spoke evenly and calmly, hoping none of the churning anxiety showed on his face or in his tone. 

“I didn’t go to the board. I’m refusing the sale,” Chaerin said flatly as she started pulling out new paperwork. 

“What?” Hanbin was devastated, his stomach rocked with a flood of heaviness. “Chae why? We discussed this.”

“We discussed the possibility Hanbin, and I said I’d get back to you. I’m refusing the sale,” Chaerin repeated. “I’ve been advised that your… mental state compromises the integrity of our negotiations.” 

“Why does everyone treat me like I’m some  _ fucking headcase _ ?” Hanbin snarled viciously. 

“Hanbin, don’t yell at me.” Chaerin looked at her business partner stoically as she plopped a shattered phone down on the desk between them. “Tell me what this looks like.” 

“Shit,” Hanbin sighed and held his face with one hand. 

“We have a heat ticket put in for damage to the wall in two places,” Chaerin said calmly. “I don’t think you’re a hazard Hanbin.” 

“I’m not,” Hanbin said thinly. 

"But there are repercussions for your... incident." Chaerin brought out a thin stack of papers that were stapled together. “You’ve been placed on a paid sabbatical. From today until three weeks have passed and then we’ll review your health then.” 

“You’re forcing me out?” 

“It’s a vacation, Hanbin. We all agreed it might do you some good.” Chaerin said as she stood with all her belongings. 

“What if it doesn’t? What if you discover I’m just…” Habin laughed bitterly as he recalled what Bobby had called him. “Just a selfish fucking asshole.” 

“Then you’ll be a well-rested asshole anyway, hopefully with less violent outbursts,” Chaerin said with a raise of her eyebrows and then turned on her heels to leave. She paused just at the door. “If you still want to sell when you’re… rested, we can talk again then.” 

It was a patronizing pat on the head and did nothing to calm Hanbin’s frustration. He made a noise of disbelief and left the office in a bitter huff. 

 


	18. Toska

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toska (n): an ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for

There was something to be said for a job that made you happy. Once he was back at Zaria, backstage with his co-workers laughing and flirting, sipping sangria and letting Jinhwan fuss over his outfit, Donghyuk felt like himself again. Jinhwan swapped out his roommate’s garters from a plain black to a white pair with heart clasps. He nodded. 

“This is sexier,” 

“Thanks, babe.” Donghyuk smiled and kissed Jinhwan’s cheek. 

Jinhwan pressed into the kiss gently. “Ready to make some rent money?” 

“Rent, and maybe a new outfit or two.” Donghyuk grinned dangerously and Jinhwan took his hand and led them out into the club with a delighted laugh. 

Donghyuk didn't miss the early days of stripping, having to dance on stage when there was maybe twenty patrons in the club. The desperation of seducing and trying to flirt when you knew that if you didn’t get someone within the first hour you likely weren’t going to get anyone. It was the stage that set you up. You had to be so good that someone was willing to drop all their money for the night before it had really started. 

He flirted with some regulars, got a tip just for having good manners from some handsome grey haired retired whatever he said he was. He used the tip to cheer up Stardust who was fidgeting nervously by the bar. Pressing it into his shiny pleather waistband. 

“Never let them see you vulnerable,” Donghyuk whispered, leaning in close and teasing with his fingers like they were flirting. “They’ll expect too much just for giving you attention.” 

“Sorry,” Stardust replied and plastered on a smile to hide the nerves. “I just feel like… I’m not getting better. Maybe this is all a waste of time.” 

“If it is, it’s better to go out in a blaze of glory.” Donghyuk smiled warmly. “Go, your ass looks too good in those cut outs to hide it against the bar.” 

As Stardust smiled and left, Donghyuk gave Stardust’s ass a pat as he walked away. Donghyuk didn’t stay long in the dark corner by himself. He spotted a group that had come in, showing signs of predrinking. Donghyuk spotted one of them wearing a Rolex and scooted over before anyone else picked them up. He put on a wide smile and greeted them like they he’d been waiting for them all night. It was early enough that Donghyuk could sit on them all night and slowly accumulate all the money they brought with them. God bless the young, drunk, and wealthy. 

Donghyuk gave the group with two of the newer strippers after a while. Jinhwan had tried to scoop them up but Donghyuk shooed him away, they were too easy a group for two top earners to hog. 

“You’re too good to newbies.” Jinhwan pouted and shoved Donghyuk as they sat in the dancer’s only area and hydrated. “What if I wanted some easy cash?” 

“All cash is easy to you little princess.” Donghyuk replied with a cheeky smile. He’d seen Jinhwan already turn over at least four private dances. “Where you getting that energy from?” 

Jinhwan smiled brightly, with an edge of danger that made Donghyuk’s heart flutter a little. “I think you know better than anyone just how much energy I have.” 

“Oh we love a promise for later,” Donghyuk grinned back as a waitress came over to the dancer’s area. Both Jinhwan and Donghyuk looked over at her. 

“DK, There is a request for you in the VIP booths.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuk said cheerfully and finished his drink. He hadn't had a shy patron in a while. Part of the benefit of the VIP booths was privacy after all. He liked the shy ones usually, it was fun to tease them and see them blush. 

“It’s from a woman,” the waitress said politely as they started walking together. 

Donghyuk had danced for and flirted with female clients before. He wasn’t picky about who he made the fantasy for, money was money after all. But he did always wonder what motivated some women to chase someone as flamboyantly gay as he was. Still as he turned the corner to get to the booth, he’d pushed all his fantastic gay charm to the surface and hoped to make some good money. 

The waitress left Donghyuk just outside the VIP’s booth entrance and then went back to her other duties. Donghyuk put on his performing energy and went into the booth. He opened his mouth to greet the VIP as flirty as possible but stopped short. Donghyuk was sure he knew her from somewhere. Her face was too familiar. She was too stoic to be a patron. Too formal to be here on anything other than business. 

“Thank you for coming up to see me, I wasn’t sure if they let women ask for you.” She spoke with a pleasant tone and then indicated he should sit. “Sit if you like, I would like to have a conversation. 

Donghyuk wasn’t sure he wanted to sit before he could remember where he knew this woman from. “I know you.” 

“Good memory,” the woman smiled. “I’m Lee Chaerin, I’m co-CEO of Happy Nihilist Records.” 

Donghyuk felt his blood run cold. Hanbin had sent someone from a company? He tried not to let anything show on his face. “So what did you want to talk about?” 

“I want to talk to you about you and Hanbin.” 

“A business relationship,” Donghyuk shrugged a little and shook his head. “I’m sure you can appreciate my professional need to keep my patron’s details to myself?” 

“Damage control is about more than that,” Chaerin said as she looked around the club, she really appreciated the aesthetic. It was sleek and modern. “I will buy this whole club if I need to, to keep my brand safe.” 

“Your brand?” Donghyuk raised an eyebrow. 

“The company, the music, the CFs deals. It’s about all of that.” Chaerin said with a shrug. “You probably know that your line of work doesn’t exactly scream ‘brand deal’.” 

“Sure,” Donghyuk agreed. “So what? You want me to end my business with Hanbin?” 

“You’re a pretty squeaky clean guy. Your place of work is the only thing vaguely interesting.” Chaerin spoke like she was proud of him somehow. 

“Do I need a restraining order? Because I’m pretty experienced in those I can get one really quick.” Donghyuk looked at Chaerin with a firm expression. 

“DK, you seem like a smart guy,” Chaerin said as she leaned forward a little, her nails were a silver chrome. “What about a business offer?” 

“Let me guess, you’ll buy me out if I’ll go be his housewife?” Donghyuk let out a huff of air that had a bit of a laugh in it, but it wasn’t that he was amused. 

Chaerin didn’t respond and Donghyuk figured he was right. 

“I’m getting really, really fucking tired of rich people.” Donghyuk looked at the ceiling and shook his head. 

“I just want you to consider the idea-” 

“Of what? Of throwing away a life that I love for one lonely rich asshole that caught feelings?” 

“Who says _you_ didn’t catch feelings too?” Chaerin countered with a flick of her eyebrow. “Coming to private events as his date? You’re comfortable being seen outside of your own _business meetings_.”

Donghyuk looked at the table as he felt himself blush, half from shame and half from embarrassment. “Yeah well, the next John that bends me over a table and slips me a hundred will make me forget all about it.” Donghyuk turned and made to leave. 

“Wait,” Chaerin said and got her purse and opened it. Donghyuk watched her and after a moment she was holding out some money. “For your time.” 

“Unless you want me to dance on you, keep it,” Donghyuk said and looked at her fiercely before walking out of the VIP booth. 

Donghyuk went down the stairs and directly to the dressing rooms. He wished he had a drink to finish off as he paced instead of sitting. He exhaled and stressed about how obviously strange he was reacting. Someone was going to ask what happened, who the VIP was. How much she gave him. Donghyuk cursed as he realised he should have taken the money for his time, Ms. Chrome nails wasn’t being patronizing. She knew what she was doing. It made him fill with dread. 

“Babe?” Jinhwan’s voice felt like a rescue rope. “What’s up do you need some surgery or something?” 

Donghyuk turned and his expression made Jinhwan take his hand and hold it affectionately. 

“Take a breath,” Jinhwan said softly. 

Donghyuk listened and felt some of the dread loosen its grip on his stomach. “A rep from Hanbin’s company was here to buy me for him.” 

“Are you fucking serious?” Jinhwan felt his stomach churn with rage at the idea of some too rich clingy possessive asshole trying some strong-arm tactic. 

Donghyuk nodded. Jinhwan sat them down at the nearest stations. 

“I didn’t take any money from her, everyone is going to figure it out. I’m so screwed.” 

“Here’s what we’re going to do babe,” Jinhwan absently fixed Donghyuk’s hair. “We’ll report the rep tonight as a fetishy hag and get her banned from seeing boys. If anyone asks why you didn’t get money they’ll understand why.” 

“Okay,” Donghyuk nodded and gripped Jinhwan’s hand with both of his. 

“If Hanbin comes back you’re going to have to be really upfront with him,” Jinhwan said softly, putting his free hand on top of Donghyuk’s. “He has to understand he crossed the line.” 

Donghyuk nodded. This was the worst-case scenario waiting to happen. A client turned obsessive stalker. At least he had the sense to never let Hanbin know where he lived. 

“Get ready for stage, I’ll go get you a drink,” Jinhwan said and kissed Donghyuk firmly on the cheek before leaving the dressing room. 

~*~

Hanbin decided he might as well keep his trail of bad choices and mistakes going. He got dressed in one of his usual killer outfits. He didn’t bother telling anyone where he was going, let them worry if they wanted. He wasn’t a danger to himself, no matter how much they wanted him to be some head case. His anger was weaker now, more indignant than the fire it had been in the morning. He didn’t know what he did all day, the time had passed too quickly. All the fire in his blood burning away the hours of the day with nothing to show for it. 

When he got to the club, he wasn’t sure if he was mad or not anymore. His heart was clenched like he was afraid, but if he didn’t think about it, maybe it was racing with excitement. He laughed at the thought as soon as he had it. He wasn’t excited. He was desperate. Donghyuk had pushed him away, and he needed to fix the damage. He needed the dancer’s skin against his tonight. It was the only thing that would make him feel better. 

He went into Zoria and didn’t bother getting a VIP booth. He went out onto the floor and found a table, he was already searching for any signs of Donghyuk. He scanned fast a few times, then forced himself to slow down. He spotted the pink haired dancer and his heart did a weird squirm that made him suddenly want a drink. He stood and chose a different table, this one had a better view of the stage. Judging by the way everyone was crowded, someone was about to come on. It was late enough in the night that it could be Donghyuk. Hanbin held his breath until he could see if his guess was right. 

The music started and so did the excited calls from the crowd around the stage. The whole aura of Donghyuk seemed to crush Hanbin’s lungs. He leaned forward instinctively as the performance started. 

Donghyuk’s expressions were dangerous and playful, suiting the cheeky lyrics perfectly. He wore a ripped up crop top and booty cut jean shorts with garters. The lyrics honestly embodied him. _I don't dance I work._ It was a warning and a promise to Hanbin now. Donghyuk was a professional in the world of carnal desires. Donghyuk swung his body and wrapped himself around the pole before swinging out again and sashayed over to a corner to undo his shorts in invitation to the patrons there. Hanbin tilted his head and felt as if he was being given some kind of message here. Not from Donghyuk, just a life lesson in the vague ‘yeah I know I’ve been an idiot but did you have to rub it into my face’ kind of way. Maybe he was thinking into it too much. He turned and went back to sit a table more away from the main stage. 

Donghyuk hated how easy it was to spot Hanbin when he was up on the stage. Usually being able to pick people out was a good skill, he could lock in on the more hypnotized ones to up his chances of a seducing more money from them. But Hanbin wasn’t worth the emotional baggage tonight. He ignored the well dressed producer and focused in on a group in similar office attire to hit on. 

He didn’t even both counting his money yet. He tossed it onto his work station and wiped himself free of sweat before heading back out into Zoria. He smiled and flirted, gave a few butt pats as he passed strippers, he went up to the access to the private booths and exhaled in relief. 

“What’s up?” Jungle asked when he saw Donghyuk coming up alone. 

“I need a favour,” Donghyuk said as his heart started to pound in his chest. 

“Yeah, what can I do?” Junhoe asked with a serious expression. It’d be a while since Donghyuk had asked him for something, and it made his ongoing guilt lessen. This was a perfect chance to get some good karma back with the dancer. 

“Junhoe, can you tell that VIP I don’t want to see him tonight?” Donghyuk asked softly. 

“Which VIP?” Junhoe asked, he hadn’t seen the VIP list for tonight and had no idea which of Donghyuk’s clients was in question. 

“My John,” Donghyuk said without moving his mouth, it was a low and barely audible reply that took Junhoe a few seconds to decipher. 

“Oh…” Junhoe said with a nod. It was nearly painful to keep himself from asking what had happened, but he was not so secretly elated they were apparently at the end of their business. 

“But like… be subtle. I don’t want a scene…” Donghyuk added at a normal volume. 

“It’ll be a scene if he puts up a fuss,” Junhoe replied as gently as he could even though his skin was itching with tension. 

“He won’t… I don’t think…” Donghyuk sighed and held his hair back off his forehead. “Nevermind then, I’ll just… ignore him. Thanks…” 

Junhoe chewed at his lip and wanted his brain to give him something to say. He couldn’t ruin this chance, he was sure he wouldn’t get many more before Donghyuk gave up on him completely. 

“I’ll just… I’ll tell him he should… I’ll think of something. No scenes.” Junhoe said quickly. “No problem, Donghyuk.” 

Donghyuk smiled a little in relief. Junhoe surged with happy pride at causing the smile. “Thanks, Junhoe, I owe you one.” 

“No… I think… I still owe you a few.” Junhoe said with a little nervous chew at the inside of his lip. 

Donghyuk smiled again and nodded before heading back down into the club to keep on earning. 

When the dancer was gone, Junhoe went and swapped places with the backup bouncer further in the private rooms area. He swiftly went down the employee's access hallway to the back entrance of the VIP area. He looked into the rooms, dancers amused the lucrative guests in the type of privacy only money could buy. Junhoe didn’t see the John anywhere. He went down the main stairs. 

“What’s up?” Another bouncer asked Junhoe, they all knew each other’s places for the night. 

“Just looking for a friend,” Junhoe said with a cheeky smile and turned with a dismissing wave. He looked around again, hoping he really did remember what the VIP looked like and he wasn’t just being overconfident. Finally, he spotted him in a far corner booth. Not drinking anything, and not attracting any dancers. Junhoe went over and put his hand down on the empty table. 

Hanbin looked up and immediately remember the bouncer. _Watch yourself._  He had said. Hanbin guessed he had not been successful in listening to the bouncer’s orders. He stood. 

“I’m leaving,” Hanbin said with a shake of his head. “I don’t think I should be here.” 

“Good call,” Junhoe said firmly and let Hanbin leave without an escort. He was glad he didn’t need to think of anything to say. He was sure he wouldn’t have been able to keep his words clever and not just insulting. On the way back to his post, he caught Donghyuk’s attention and gave him a little thumbs up. Donghyuk winked at him and then went back to flirting with his patron. 

At the end of the night, Donghyuk and Jinhwan left arm in arm. Feeling pretty happy with the cash in their bags and the last potent drinks that were still in their veins, warming them. Jinhwan was discussing the toppings for their usual pizza at three am when Donghyuk suddenly stopped walking. 

Hanbin was waiting like he used to, sitting on the back of his car like they’d go back to his place and Donghyuk would pleasure him until dawn. Donghyuk’s heart couldn’t decide if it was racing or if it should stop beating completely. 

“You shouldn’t be here,” Jinhwan said sternly. 

“I… You don’t answer your phone,” Hanbin replied, looking only at Donghyuk. 

“I blocked your number,” Donghyuk replied and then looked at Jinhwan. “Wait for me, I’ll talk to him.” 

“I’m calling the cops if you’re not back in 10 minutes.” Jinhwan looked at Hanbin and gave him a fierce glare, a challenge to test his word. 

Jinhwan went just inside the subway station, Donghyuk knew he could still see them if he looked back out the windows. It made him feel better. 

Hanbin looked defeated in every sense of the word. “I just… wanted to see you again. To explain -” 

“I’m not interested,” Donghyuk said firmly. “I’ve had enough from you and your company trying to get me to toss all this away like I’m only here to make money to buy a pair of shoes.” 

“What does my company have to do with anything?” Hanbin finally looked up at the stripper. 

“Ms. Chrome nails was here trying to buy me out. I swear you two are actively trying to get me fired. I’ve had enough of it!” Donghyuk’s face was firm and intense now. Hanbin had never seen him so aggressive. 

“Fuck.” Hanbin ran a hand over his face and sighed. “I’m sorry, that’s all I came to say.” 

“Fine, tell your girl to step off then. I didn’t mind making money off of you,” Donghyuk said with a little nod. “But I think we need to stop meeting.” 

Hanbin felt his heart squeeze painfully. He wanted Donghyuk in his bed again, he wanted to take Donghyuk on trips and show him the world and learn what it felt like to orgasm in every different city. Once again, he couldn’t bring himself to look at the stripper. 

“I don’t want to stop,” Hanbin said weakly. 

“I know,” Donghyuk said after a pause. “But I come with strings, I always will and I won’t let anymore try and cut them free. You want all of me or you get none of me. I know I’m worth that at least.” 

“You are.” Hanbin nodded and decided it was dumb to keep trying after all. “I’m sorry I didn’t see that until I hurt you.” 

“Well... thank you for saying that,” Donghyuk said with a difficult sort of expression. “But I think you should keep some distance until you think you can handle… the reality of me. Of us.”

Hanbin sat on the bumper of his car and felt defeated. Their reality? Didn’t their reality include sharing secrets? Wasn’t there affection and understanding with the money and the sex? He wanted to cry. Donghyuk gave him one last long look and then went into the subway station to join Jinhwan again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been essentially living at the hospital since the end of August, I post from my phone so if a chapter needs formatting or editing, please be patient with me until I get to a PC.


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